


The Blair High School Bears

by SloanGreyMercyDeath



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Magic, F/F, F/M, Gen, High School, Iranian Culture, Old Persian, Robotics, Root is a nerd, SCIENCE!, Slow Burn, Soccer, The Machine - Freeform, blood mention, death mention, grimoire, harold and finch are neighbors, long story, self-harm mention, shaw is sporty, supercomputers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-14 18:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SloanGreyMercyDeath/pseuds/SloanGreyMercyDeath
Summary: Shaw is a foster kid who just moved to Middle of Nowhere, Connecticut. Root, John, and Harold are childhood best friends.This is a high school AU about two dumb gays trying to figure out how to just be people.Also, there's Magic.





	1. The First Day of School

Shaw stared up at the school. It was her fourth high school in 2 years. She’d gone to 3 different high schools her freshman year, and now she was standing in front of her fourth. Not because she was a troublemaker or anything, she could cover her tracks, but because she’d been bouncing around the foster care system.

Her parents had died a few years ago and she’d been in the system since. She’d had good luck with families, but they always ended up giving her back. Most people, it seemed, didn’t know how to deal with her. Shaw looked around the grounds in front of the school and saw everyone looking as normal as possible. She doubted these kids would know how to deal with her either.

She couldn’t complain too much, though. Her current family was fantastic. They were an older couple with no other kids, and seemed to accept her as she was. They lived in a different school district, though, and that’s how she’d ended up in this mess.

She was repeating freshman year. There was some bullshit about non-transferable credits. So not only was she a foster kid with terrible social skills and no friends, she was also a year older than the other kids in her class.

Shaw sighed and rolled her eyes. It was the first day of school in a new town and she might as well not make enemies before she had to. Shaw headed up the front steps to the school tried to avoid eye contact with everyone around her.

Once she was inside, she took a look around. It was a nice school. High ceiling and clean, tile floors. The walls were lined with display cases. Shaw strode over to the nearest one and peered inside. There were several trophies and a group picture. It looked like a girls’ soccer team.

Shaw pushed up onto her tiptoes and read the plaque. Blair High School Bears. Shaw scoffed and lowered herself. Of course, this small suburb in Buttfuck Nowhere, Connecticut would have the bears as their mascot. The only mascot more cliché would be the deer or the pine trees, or something similarly folksy.

Shaw hitched her bag and turned, trying to remember where the front office was. She had a map in her bag, but she’d rather be shot than look like she was lost. She opted for just wandering down the hall. Luckily, the front office was just around the first corner. Shaw peered into the window before pulling the door open.

Standing behind the counter was a small, skinny boy with glasses. He smiled at her as she entered and barely flinched when she slammed her backpack onto the counter.

“Hello,” He started, politely, watching her pull out a manila folder, “My name is Harold Finch. I’ve been expecting you.”

Shaw scowled and handed him her files. “Sorry, I was later than I’d hoped.” She looked away from him, taking in the room. “The walk looked shorter than it was.”

Harold raised his eyebrows, placing the folder under the counter and pulling out a similar one. “You’re still 20 minutes early. I’ll walk you to class.”

Shaw nodded, still not looking at him. “Thanks.” She finally turned to look at him and snatched the folder from his hands.

Harold looked a little taken aback, but kept smiling. He started moving out from behind the counter. Shaw watched him hobble along awkwardly. When he came out onto her side, she saw that he had a pronounced limp.

Harold followed her gaze, used to the attention. “It was a robotics accident.”

Shaw rolled her eyes, uncaring, but she opened the door for him and held it as he passed.

She followed him into the hallway, noticed more kids wandering around than before. The noise in the hallway was almost deafening; the sound bouncing off the high ceilings and metal lockers. Shaw fell into stride with Harold and they started down the hall.

“So,” Harold began, “I took the liberty of looking over your schedule. Very impressive. Did you take high school math and science in middle school?”

Shaw nodded and slung her backpack over her shoulder. “Yeah. I took Earth/Space and Algebra I. Those credits transferred, but the ones from my previous high school didn’t. I actually already did my freshman year.”

Harold looked surprised. “May I ask why you’re repeating it?”

“No.” Shaw looked away, trying to understand the social dynamics of the kids around her. There didn’t seem to be any definite cliques, just friends.

Harold sighed, starting to understand Shaw a little bit better. “Well, you and I are opposites.”

Shaw swung her head to stare at him.

“I’m just saying,” Harold said, holding his hands up in front of him. “I skipped 7th grade, so I’m a year younger than our class. You’re a year older.”

Shaw nodded. Harold slowed to a stop and gestured to an open door. “This is your classroom. First Period English. I’ve heard good things about Mrs. Russell.”

Shaw nodded again and took Harold’s proffered hand. She was surprised by the formal farewell, but took it in stride. “I’ll see you around.”

Harold smiled, dropping her hand. “I’ll see you for Biology next period. I’ll meet you back here.”

Shaw’s face dropped and she stepped into Harold’s space. She was eye level with him and tried not to be too angry that he was 2 years younger and almost taller than her. She glowered at him until he took a step back. “I don’t need to be babysat. Harold. I’m a big girl.”

Harold swallowed and nodded. “Um, I’m actually in that class with you, though, and have to walk this way anyway, so it’s just convenience, really. The class is in a weird corner.”

Shaw searched his eyes and decided he was telling the truth. “Fine. Whatever. If you’re not here quickly, I’m going ahead.”

Harold nodded and turned around. He quickly headed back for the front office. Shaw watched as a taller boy moved to walk with him. When the boy glanced back at her, she rolled her eyes and walked into the classroom. So much for not making enemies before she needed to.

Shaw walked into the classroom and looked around. The entrance was at the back of the class and Shaw couldn’t decide if that’d make it easier to sneak in or harder. There were more desks than she was expecting, but it was a classroom like any other. Shaw was pleased to a chalkboard at the front of the classroom and not a dry-erase board. She liked the clack of the chalk against the slate.

There were already kids in the classroom, catching up and talking about their summer break. Shaw wondered if they knew each other from middle school. It was a small suburb, there couldn’t be too many schools around. She threw her bag on a desk. It’d be even harder to infiltrate a friend group than just make a single friend.

She was about to sit, resigned, but was stopped by the sound of a throat clearing. She straightened up and looked behind her.

A lanky girl was standing there, clutching her bookbag in one hand. Shaw took her in. Skinny, with long hair, half blonde and half brunette, like her hair had changed colors in the past few years. She was dressed similarly to Shaw, dark jeans and a dark sweatshirt. Shaw decided she could take her in a fight.

Shaw stared at the girl, expectantly. “What?”

The girl blinked and pointed at Shaw’s desk. “The seats are assigned. Alphabetically. That one’s mine.”

Shaw drew her bag off the desk and looked down. In the corner, was an index card taped down that read Period One: Samantha Groves. Shaw scowled and stomped away. Great, now she looked like an idiot.

Shaw moved to the other side of the room, figuring if “Groves” was near the entrance, “Shaw” would be towards the end. She walked up and down the last row a couple times, but didn’t see her name. Shaw felt her mood darken. If Harold had brought her to the wrong classroom, she was going to murder him.

“Sameen?”

Shaw heard her name and turned, finding the girl from earlier looking at her. She grit her teeth. “Yes?”

The girl smiled, looking pleased. “You’re right behind me. Mrs. Russell sorts alphabetically by first name. Samantha. Sameen.”

Shaw stalked back to the entrance and slammed her back onto the desk, smirking when the girl jumped. “What kind of names do you people have if “Samantha” is only 10 names from the front?”

Samantha shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’d prefer it if you called me Root.”

Shaw slid into her chair and unzipped her bag, pulling out a notebook and her pencil case. “Whatever,” She shrugged. “I doubt I’ll be calling you anything.”

The girls face drew up into a smirk and Shaw was dismayed to see Root’s eyes twinkle. Shaw squinted at her, suspicious. “What?”

The girl just shrugged and turned around, giggling to herself. Shaw rolled her eyes. Great, the girl had made her look like an idiot and now it seemed that she was unstable.

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Root listened as the girl behind her grumbled. She wanted to turn around and tell her to be quiet, but she wasn’t sure if she should. She’d never seen Sameen before and she’d lived in this town her whole life. She knew everyone, either because she’d met them, or because she’d researched them. It was only a town of a few thousand people; no one was hard to find.

Root tried to rack her brain and think of who this girl could be. Maybe she was Angela and Nathan’s new foster daughter. If Root remembered correctly, the girl would be close to her age. Actually, Root thought, the girl was a year older than her. It was strange that she’d be in her class.

Sameen didn’t seem to be paying too much attention to Mrs. Russell. Root would admit that Mrs. Russell could be gruff, especially after her husband had died, but she was going over the syllabus. There were several projects scheduled for the year and Sameen would need to be prepared.

Root looked over her shoulder. Shaw had her head down on the desk. The only thing Root could see written in her notebook was Snooze Fest. Root sighed and looked forward again. Poor girl, she needed to get her act together.

The bell rang, startling Root. She started packing up her things. She stood and turned to ask Sameen what her next class was, but she was already walking out the door.

Root hurried out of the classroom to see Harold and Sameen walking together, towards their next class.

“Harold!” Root called out, hurrying to catch up to them. Harold turned around, surprised someone was calling his name. Root watched Sameen turn and smiled when Sameen glowered at her. Root stopped in front of them. “Hey, where are you headed?”

“Biology,” Harold replied, happy to see her. “I assume you a good summer. I was jealous to hear you went to Robotics camp.”

Root shrugged and started walking, Harold and Sameen followed her. “It was fun. I wish you were there, though.” She sighed and looked at Harold, sadly. “It was the first summer without Hanna.”

Harold nodded solemnly. “I know. I had my internship, though.”

“You’re already doing internships?” Sameen asked, annoyed. “Let me guess, you’ve got to have a good resume for Harvard.”

Harold laughed. “MIT, actually.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Same difference.”

Root smiled at her from the other side of Harold. “What did you do with your summer, Sameen?”

Sameen scowled at her, apparently still upset she’d needed her help to find a desk. “Nothing. Why are you following us anyway? Don’t you need to get to class?”

Root laughed. “I have Biology, too.” She grinned at Sameen. “We’re going to be together for 2 hours a day, Sameen! Maybe more, who knows.”

Sameen crossed her arms. “Don’t call me Sameen.” Harold and Root looked at her curiously. “Call me Shaw. Only my friends can call me Sameen.”

Root and Harold turned to enter the Biology class. Root laughed as Shaw had to pivot quickly to avoid walking past the room. “Do you have many friends, Shaw?”

Sameen looked away and Root was surprised by how vulnerable she seemed. “No.”

They walked further into the classroom and looked around. It didn’t seem like there were any assigned seats. Root picked a table towards the center of the room and sat on a stool. She liked science classrooms. The black lab tables, the tall stools; it was all so comforting.

The tables were arranged so 4 people could sit, 2 on either side. Harold took the seat opposite Root. Root watched Shaw try to decide if she wanted to sit next to Root or Harold. Just when Root thought Shaw was going to pick Harold, John arrived and took the stool.

Shaw glared at John, who just stared at her blankly, placing his bag on the table. Finally, Shaw rolled her eyes and slammed her bag on the table next to Root.

Harold jumped. “Ms. Shaw, I do hope you don’t have anything breakable in there. You slam your bag around a lot.”

Shaw just unzipped her back and pulled out a notebook. A different one from first period, Root noted. “Whatever.” She jerked her chin at John. “Who’s the thug?”

Reese smirked and held his hand out. “John Reese. I’m friends with Harold and Root.”

Shaw shook his hand and went back to digging around in her bag.

Root turned to John. “So, did you finally pick a sport?”

John shrugged. “I’m still torn between soccer and lacrosse.”

“You are good at both,” Harold rested his arms on the table in front of him. “Is there any way to play on both teams?”

Root and Shaw snorted simultaneously. Root looked at Shaw, but Shaw was ignoring her, still digging around in her bag. Root did notice that Shaw’s face was a little red.

Root crossed her arms on the table. “And what are you into, Shaw?”

Shaw froze, her face slowly turning towards Root. “Excuse me?”

Root’s mouth perked up into a half-smile and she slid her arms towards Shaw. “What sort of extracurriculars are you into?”

Shaw’s eyes narrowed, like she was trying to figure out what Root was doing. Root just smiled back at her patiently.

“I play soccer.” Shaw answered, still seeming like she was unsure of herself.

Root nodded. “I can see that.”

She really could see Shaw enjoying a sport like soccer. Shaw was small, but muscular. Root suspected that she worked out several times a week, if not every day. Root considered telling her that too much exercise could stunt her growth. They were at an important stage of their development.

She decided against it. Instead, she pulled out her own notebook and turned to the front of the class. The bell rung and their teacher wandered inside.

Root was surprised to see that their science teacher was Nathan Ingram. He wasn’t supposed the Biology teacher, but maybe something had happened to Mr. Greer. Root snuck a peek at Shaw and almost laughed.

Shaw was white as a sheet. She obviously hadn’t expected her new foster father to be teaching her Biology class. Shaw noticed Root looking and schooled her face into a neutral expression.

Mr. Ingram smiled at the class. “Good morning! I know it’s our first day and all of you are probably shaking in your boots. Don’t worry, freshman year isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.” He glanced at Shaw and winked. “You’ll be sophomores before you know it and then seniors and then adults!”

The class groaned. Root laughed, lightly. She was looking forward to adulthood. No rules, no school. No parents to disappear right when their daughter needed them most. Root felt her eyes shutter and start to tear up.

She quickly looked down at her notebook. This was no time to be upset about her home life. This was a new year, a new school, a new chance to just be normal.

She looked up and saw Shaw staring at her in her peripheral vision. She turned her head, expecting Shaw to look away, but they stared at each other. Root noticed her pretty Shaw was. Her dark eyes, strong cheekbones, and full lips. She felt her face heat up and looked away.

This was also not the time to let her hormones take control of her. Root sighed and dropped her head onto her arms. She hated first days.

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Shaw thought her first day had gone well so far. She’d made casual acquaintances with Harold, Root, and John. She wouldn’t call them friends yet, but they had sat together in the cafeteria at lunch time and that was the closest thing to friendship she’d ever had.

It was their final period of the day, now, and she was looking forward to it. She had PhysEd for her last class. Shaw was pumped. She planned to just stay in her gym clothes when class was over and jog home. She could do that whenever the weather permitted.

Shaw walked into the locker room and groaned. Of course, Root was in her class. She and Root had every single class together. English, Biology, World History, Geometry, German, and now PhysEd. She walked over to the bench Root was sitting on and swung her leg over, sitting heavily.

“Well, it looks like you’re stuck with me.” Root said, smiling at her. “All day, Every day.”

Shaw shrugged and pulled her shirt over her head. She’d worn her gym clothes under her normal clothes. The uniform was just an A-frame and boy shorts.

“It could be worse. I could have PE with John.” She looked around, picking out a locker.

Root laughed and pushed herself off the bench. “John has PE fourth period.” She opened her locker and pushed her backpack in, piling her clothes on top. “You shouldn’t be too competitive.”

Shaw rolled her eyes and moved to yank open the locker next to Root’s. “Whatever. I’m not that competitive.”

Root rolled her eyes, disbelieving. “Sure. I’m just saying that he’s really good at sports. He’s the best.”

Shaw’s nostrils flared. She stepped up to Root’s face, their bodies almost touching. Shaw looked up an inch into Root’s eyes. “I am the best. I will crush him.” She turned and marched out of the locker room, on the war path.

Root sighed and followed her. “At least you aren’t competitive.”

Shaw ignored her, bursting through the doors into the gym. She slowed her pace. This gymnasium was huge. The shiny wooden floors stretched in all directions. Shaw could see the paint lines for a basketball court, a tennis court, and a volleyball court. The bleachers stacked against the wall, not taking up any space. There were pull up bars in the far corner and weights across the room from them.

Shaw’s mouth dropped open. “What the fuck kind of public school is this?”

Root shrugged. “It’s the only high school in the area, so it’s pretty well funded.” She looked at Shaw and smiled. “How much can you bench?”

Shaw rolled her eyes and ignored her, leading the way to where the coach was gathering kids. They listened to the coach blather on for a while. Shaw was impatient to get started. It was PhysEd! Why were they just standing around?

Finally, the coach announced they were going to play dodgeball and split the teams into two. Shaw saw that Root was on her team and sighed. She wasn’t really an advantage for their team. Shaw just hoped the other team didn’t realize that, too.

Shaw positioned herself at the front of the group, a few step backs from the center line. She was extremely confident in her abilities to either dodge the ball or catch it. Her team would win if she had to do everything herself.

Luckily, her team wasn’t half bad. They took out a fair number for the other team before their numbers started dwindling down. There was some girl on the other team who seemed to be as intense as Shaw.

After about 20 minutes, Shaw realized that she was the only one left standing against 10 members of the other team. She scowled, regretting the praise she’d given her team mates. They were weak. A ball came at Shaw, but she weaved to the side and it sailed past her. She was tempted to just get hit and let the game end, but she heard to whimper behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Root still in the playing field. Apparently, the girl had just hidden behind people until there were no people left. Shaw looked back at the opposite team and saw them whispering amongst themselves, glancing occasionally at Root.

Shaw took the break as an opportunity to move to Root.

“Hey, you ok?”

Root shook her head. “I’m not really a sports person. I mean, I’m good at tennis and decent at volleyball, but I am not a dodgeball person.”

Shaw smirked. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

Shaw glanced over her shoulder at the other team. They’d started to spread out again. Shaw looked back at Root, who was almost shaking. “Why not just let them hit us and get it over with?”

Root nodded. “Ok.”

“Hey, dykes!”

Shaw stiffened, her face scrunching in anger. She looked over her shoulder. A tall boy, with curly hair, was standing close to the center line, a dodgeball tucked under his arm.

“I said ‘Hey, dykes!’” The boy laughed, prompting other team members to laugh. “I thought you were done with your lezzie phase, Groves.”

Shaw looked back at Root, whose face had turned a dark red. Root couldn’t meet Shaw’s eyes, but Shaw saw a tear fall. Shaw felt her body turn cold, the way it always did when she was full of rage.

Shaw turned around, placing herself firmly in front of Root. She drew herself up to her full height, which wasn’t terribly high, but it made her look stronger.

“Hey, asshole,” Shaw called, “Don’t be jerkoff just because you can’t get any girls yourself.”

Shaw watched the boy’s face flush. He leaned back and threw the dodgeball as hard as he could.

Shaw caught it inches from her face. The loud slap of hand against rubber echoed in the large gymnasium. She lowered the ball, smiling smugly at the boy she’d just kicked out of the game. The opposing team was stunned, wondering who this new girl was.

Shaw lunged forward throwing the ball and hitting another boy in the face.

The game resumed and Shaw felt a thrill run through her. She tried to hold her position in front of Root, but the girl on the other team was smart. Eventually, it was just her, Shaw, and Root left in the game. Shaw had moved to the other side of the court, leaving Root somewhat exposed.

Shaw watched the girl decide who to throw the ball at. She chose Root and Shaw raced across the court to get the ball. She was too far, she realized and jumped forward to try and close the remaining distance. 

Her fingers brushed against the ball, inches from Root’s face. Shaw tightened her grip and came to a sliding stop. She’d caught it. The girl was out and Shaw’s team had won the game. Shaw heard her teammates cheering, but she just turned to see if Root was ok.

Root was gone, though. Shaw looked around, panting slightly, but didn’t see her. The girl from the other team walked over.

“Hey, that was a good game. Sorry about the boys.” The girl looked apologetic. Sweaty, but apologetic.

Shaw nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. You’re good.” She held her hand out. “I’m Shaw.”

“Joss.” The girl replied. “Are you going to try out for any sports? I’m vice-captain of the soccer team. I’d love for you to join us. You’ve got good footwork.”

Shaw smiled, nodding. “Yeah, uh, I was thinking about joining the soccer team.”

Joss nodded. “Great. I’ll see you around.”

Shaw threw the dodgeball she was still holding onto the ground and headed for the locker rooms. The last bell was going to ring any minute and she wanted to find Root.

She heard the showers running and walked into the adjoining room. There were rows of showers, each one with a curtain across the entry. Shaw saw a towel sitting on the end of the long bench in the center of the room and figured Root must be that way.

“Hey, Root?” Shaw called, feeling awkward. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” was the terse reply. “Go away.”

Shaw felt like she should say something else, but she didn’t know what. “Alright. I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow.” She turned and walked out of the room.

The bell rang, making Shaw jump. Shaw shook her head and went to her locker, gathering her things. She was glad she’d thought of jogging home. The run would help clear her head.

Shaw gave one last look towards the showers and walked out of the locker room. Her first day hadn’t gone as terribly as she had fearing, but she didn’t know if she’d call it a success. She might have made some friends and she might have lost some friends.

Shaw sighed as she walked down the hallway. Being 15 was really hard.


	2. Make Up, Fight, Make Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters in Two Days? Each one more than 4000 Words? Wow. Please don't start expecting this.

Root hesitated outside of her English classroom. The bell was about to ring, but Root couldn’t make herself go inside. She’d had such a terrible day yesterday and now she wasn’t sure she could face Shaw again.

The only person she knew who didn’t know about her tragic past or her family trouble or how weird she was and Root had blown it. Shaw could have been her chance for a real friendship, like Harold or John, but a girl. Root thought that after Hanna, she’d never have another close female friend, but Shaw seemed really great. Shaw could have been Root’s friend, but she’d ruined it.

Why couldn’t Root have just opened up to Shaw? Would it have killed her to talk about Hanna? Root sighed, maybe it would. Last year was difficult. Root hated to admit that she almost didn’t make it through, but Harold and John had supported her. They’d been there for her when nobody was. Root thought that Shaw might have been there for her, too.

Shaw would never be friends with her now that she knew Root was a weird kid. Cool girls like Shaw didn’t hang around weird girls like Root. Root sighed. She might as well go inside. At least Shaw sat behind her and she wouldn’t have to look at her.

Root made to go inside, but heard someone come up behind her. She looked over her shoulder. It was Shaw, looking slightly out of breath. Shaw looked at her curiously, but Root just turned and walked into the classroom. The bell rung as she took her seat. She heard Shaw settling in behind her, but didn’t turn around.

“Root,” Shaw whispered from behind her. “Hey, Root.”

Root closed her eyes, ignoring her. She pulled her bag into her lap and started taking materials out. She pulled out the essay on her summer reading and frowned.

“Alright, class,” Mrs. Russell said, waiting for the class to settle down, “Please hand your Summer Reading Essays up to the front.”

“Fuck.” Root heard Shaw say behind her. She felt Shaw’s desk push into the back of her chair as Shaw leaned forward. “I didn’t know we had Summer Reading.”

Root rolled her eyes, but lifted another folder out of her bag. She had suspected Shaw would be unprepared today and after yesterday, Root felt like she owed her. She raised the folder so Shaw could see. “I wrote one for you.”

Shaw squinted at the folder, reading the words written on the front. “Eragon Essay by Sameen Shaw.” Shaw scoffed. “Eragon, what the fuck kind of Summer Reading is that?”

Root shrugged. “I wrote about Tess of the D’Urbervilles. It was terrible.”

Shaw sat back and took the papers from the kid behind her. She passed them up to Root. “Thanks, Root.”

Root smiled, softly. “No problem.”

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The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Root hadn’t spoken too much during second and third period, but thankfully, Shaw didn’t comment. Shaw had chatted idly with Harold and John during biology and just silently taken notes during World History. Root wondered why Shaw was being so quiet.

Root closed her locker, locking her backpack away, and headed for the cafeteria. Luckily, she had first lunch, so she could just take her time getting there. Maybe she could time it right and meet the group at the table, just avoid standing in line with Shaw.

Root was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Shaw was going to figure out that she was too weird and ditch her. Honestly, Root was surprised that she, Harold, and John had remained friends this long.

Harold and John were next door neighbors, so they’d grown up together. John protected Harold like an older brother and Harold supported John’s athletic goals. Root smiled, remembering a weekend in 6th grade when Harold tried to convince John that he should shave his head to get rid of wind resistance.

“What are you smiling about?”

Root jumped. She hadn’t noticed Shaw walking next to her. She put a hand on her chest. “You scared me.”

Shaw shrugged. “You should work on your spacial awareness. It would help you in dodgeball.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Not even having God on my side would help me at dodgeball.”

“Well,” Shaw joked, “Good thing I’m on your side.”

Root glanced at Shaw out of the corner of her eye. Shaw seemed sincere. “Thanks.”

Shaw nodded, not looking at Root. “Whatever.”

They entered the cafeteria and Root was blown away by the noise. “Middle School was not this loud.”

Shaw laughed, grabbing a lunch tray and getting in line. “My last high school was a hell hole. 3,300 kids all crammed into one cafeteria. I just ate in a hallway.”

Root slid her tray along the lunch counter, grabbing a slice of pizza. “3,300 teenagers in a room. I can’t imagine. It feels like there aren’t even 3,300 people in this town.”

Shaw looked at Root, taking a bite from an apple she hadn’t bought yet. “There’s at least 6,000 people in this town.” She sighed and put her apple on her tray. “At least, I’m telling myself that. I’m going crazy here and it’s only been a few weeks.”

Root followed Shaw to the cashier, watching her curiously. “Where did you move from?”

Shaw finished paying and moved to the side, waiting for Root. “New York.”

Root smiled at the cashier, paid, then put her wallet back into her pocket. They walked towards the tables looking for Harold and John.

“That’s not too far.”

“It seems like it’s a lifetime away.” Shaw said, grimly.

Root opened her mouth to ask her another question, but Shaw turned on the spot, forcing Root to lift her tray to avoid crashing.

Shaw stared at Root for a moment before speaking. “I don’t care if you’re gay.”

Root flushed, trying to ignore the looks they were getting from the tables around them. “Uh, can we not talk about this.”

Shaw squinted at her, but nodded. “Yeah. Whatever.” She turned and headed for their table.

Root followed her, shocked, but happy. Maybe she hadn’t ruined everything yesterday.

They arrived at the table and sat down. Shaw immediately began digging into her food. Harold watched her with amazement and fear.

“Miss Shaw, do your parents not feed you?”

Shaw glared at him and spoke around a mouth full of pizza. “I’m a growing girl.”

“Growing out?” John joked, “You certainly aren’t growing taller.”

Shaw slammed her pizza onto her tray and jumped to her feet. “You wanna fight? Because I’ll win.”

Root laughed out loud, almost spraying her juice everywhere. Shaw was so small compared to John and Root knew that Reese was only going to get taller.

Shaw looked down at Root, betrayed. “You don’t think I can take him?”

“I think,” Root laughed, “that you think you can take him.”

Shaw rolled her eyes, but she sat down again. “Whatever.” She pointed her fork at John. “You better watch it.” She stuck her fork into her mashed potatoes and took a large bite.

Root watched as Harold and John smiled at each other. She was glad to see Shaw fitting in. She couldn’t imagine Shaw had many friends. Just yesterday, Shaw said she had no friends.

Root saw Shaw watching her and smiled. Root turned to the group. “Any plans for the weekend?”

John shook his head. “I was thinking of getting in some soccer practice. Tryouts are in a couple weeks.”

Shaw looked up from her food. “Just for boys? Or girls, too?”

“Girls and boys, I think,” John answered. “Have you met Joss yet?”

“Yeah,” Shaw nodded, “She’s a beast with a dodgeball.”

Harold laughed. “Oh yes, I heard about your showdown yesterday. It’s been a long time since someone has beaten Joss at anything.”

Shaw smirked. “Oh, I beat her alright. Her whole fucking team.”

“Shaw took on Hersch and won,” Root added.

“Who’s Hersch?” Shaw asked, looking around the group. “Was he the dude with the attitude?”

“Unfortunately,” Harold started, “I’m afraid so.” Harold frowned. “He didn’t give you too much trouble, did he? He’s definitely a bully.”

Shaw shrugged, avoiding Root’s face. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.” She glanced at Root, who was staring down at her food. “I made him look like an idiot in front of his friends.”

John smiled and leaned back in his chair, lounging casually. “I’m glad to hear that. He deserves it. Last year, he basically- “

“No.” The group looked at Root. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Shaw nodded, her eyes fixed on Root’s face. She pulled her face away and glanced between John and Harold, taking in their subdued expressions. Shaw decided it wasn’t worth it and went back to devouring her pizza.

They sat in companionable silence until the next bell rang. The friends gathered their trays and headed out of the cafeteria.

Shaw sighed as she threw her tray into the trashcan. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure Root was still behind her. They set off for their lockers.

“I am not looking forward to a year of Geometry,” Shaw grumbled. “Math is the worst.”

Root smiled. “I like math. It’s easier. Numbers don’t like.”

“I feel like they lie to me,” Shaw answered. “Just…lying and always being wrong.”

Root laughed. “Didn’t you already take Geometry? This should be a breeze.”

Shaw stopped in front of her locker and unlocked it. Their locker bank was near the math hallway. “I barely passed the first time. Now it’s just repetition of things I don’t know.”

Root stepped past her and walked to her own locker. “I can tutor you if you’d like. I enjoy math and it’d be a good review for me.”

Shaw scowled at her backpack as she pulled it out of the lockers and swung it onto her shoulders. “I’m older than you. That would be so embarrassing.”

Root closed her locker and sauntered over to Shaw. “I’ll make you a deal.”

Shaw eyed her. “What?”

“You protect me during gym class and I’ll do your math homework.” Root smiled at Shaw.

Shaw closed her locker, sliding the lock through the door. She was going to be spending a lot of time with Root anyway, they had all their classes together, and, if she was being honest with herself, she would protect Root from homophobe bullies, deal or no deal. She might as well get something out of it.

“Alright,” Shaw said, throwing her hands into the air, “It’s a deal.” She spit into her hand and stuck it out.

Root stared down at Shaw’s hand in horror. “No, No way. I am not shaking that.”

Shaw shook her hand insistently. “It’s how you make a deal. Spit into your hand and then we shake.”

“Um, no.” Root walked around Shaw and started towards their class room. She heard Shaw run to catch up with her. “Let’s just make a gentlemen’s agreement and keep our hands to ourselves.”

Shaw shrugged and wiped her hand on her pants. “Whatever.”

They walked into Geometry and took their seats. Shaw had wanted to sit in the back yesterday and Root had sat next to her. If she’d known the teacher would make them sit in the same seats every day, she would have forced Shaw to sit closer to the front, but it was too late now.

Root felt her pocket buzz and pulled out her cellphone. Shaw leaned towards her to read it. “It’s from Harold,” Root whispered, “He wants to know if we want to go to the arcade on Saturday.”

Shaw shrugged. “I have to ask Angela, but I think it should be fine. They even give me an allowance.” Shaw realized she’d mentioned her foster parents and pulled away. “I mean, my parents give me an allowance, obviously.”

Root decided to play along and nodded. “Mine, too.” Root thought about the access she had to her parents’ bank account and figured it was fine to use for fun. Root deserved to have fun sometimes.

Shaw nodded and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying.

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Saturday had come quickly, Shaw thought to herself as she pedaled. Angela and Nathan had agreed to let her go out with her friends, even going so far as to lend her a bike. Shaw thinks they’re just happy that she’s settling in. She liked them, as much as she could anyway.

Shaw looked around as she rode to the arcade. Their little town was nice, even if Shaw missed New York City. The roads were lined with large trees, green and lush. Shaw was not looking forward to winter when everything died. These roads would be scattered with branches and harder to ride on.

Shaw pushed herself off the seat and pedaled standing, letting the bike swing under her. She hadn’t felt this normal in a long time, certainly not since her parents had died. She was getting better at being a person and not letting her numbness make her angry all the time.

Shaw hadn’t decided if she was going to tell her new friends about her personality disorder. Maybe she could skate by for a while and just pretend.

Shaw was a few blocks from the mall when she heard someone call her name. She sat back down on her bike and turned in a lazy circle. Root, John, and Harold were riding up behind her. Root was waving, her arm stretched over her head. Shaw finished her circle, starting back towards the arcade, but she slowed down to let her friends reach her.

Root pulled up beside her. “Good morning!”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “It’s almost noon. I’ve been up since eight waiting for your text.”

“Sorry,” Root looked sheepish, “I’m not really a morning person. Besides, it Saturday! Who gets up early on a Saturday.”

“A lot of people,” Harold responded. “You and John are exceptions.”

John scoffed. “I think Root and I are the rule. What kind of teenagers wake up before the sun?”

“People who want to use their time wisely,” Shaw laughed. “I love going for a run in the morning.” She thought for a moment. “And in the evening, I guess. I don’t really sleep that much.”

Root laughed, slowing to a stop in front of the mall. “I don’t sleep a lot either, I just stay up really late and then sleep in.”

She led them to the bike rack and they all started chaining up their bikes. Root finished and moved over to Shaw. “You could always text me first, you know. I’d wake up for a text from you.”

Shaw flushed and finished locking her bike. She stood, glaring at Root. “I’m not the one who invited someone out. The inviter has to take initiative.”

Root smiled, her mouth picking up on one side. “I’ll make sure to take more initiative next time.”

Shaw just rolled her eyes and led them into the mall. She stopped inside the doors. “Whoa, this place is huge.”

The other kids looked around, but it seemed normal to them. They’d all lived here their whole lives. Harold shrugged. “I suppose so. It’s our only mall, so it has to have everything.”

They started walking to the arcade. Shaw was glad it was an inside mall. She could hang out here in the winter. She took everything in. There was a bookstore, far too many clothing stores, a large video game store, even a movie theater. Shaw was happy to see a CrossFit gym.

“Do you guys hang out here a lot?” Shaw asked.

“Fairly often,” Harold answered, “There isn’t that much to do here.”

“We hang out here or Harold’s house,” Root added. “His parents let us have sleepovers whenever.”

“Nice.” Shaw nodded, spotting the arcade. “Whoa! This is great!” Shaw ran ahead to the arcade, the other three jogging to keep up.

Shaw immediately went to the counter to buy a game card. She looked over her shoulder at her friends. “I know a game card is more practical, but I really love game tokens.”

“Yeah,” Root leaned on the counter, pulling her card out of her wallet, “I miss them. I still have about 30 in my room from before they switched.”

Harold looked shocked. “Really? I melted mine down.”

“What?” Root asked. “Melted them into what?”

Shaw tuned out their conversation as she waited for the receptionist to fill her card. Shaw enjoyed melting things as much as the next person, but she knew they’d end up getting into computer talk and that she was uninterested in.

Shaw snatched her game card from the receptionist’s hand and turned to her friends, interrupting their conversation.

“Alright, nerds, let’s go!” Shaw marched into the game room, trying to decide what to play first. She spotted a basketball toss and turned to John, hands on her hips. “I bet you five bucks I can make more baskets than you.”

“You’re on.”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root watched Reese and Shaw race off. She turned to Harold. “I’m going to grab a soda, want one?”

Harold nodded and followed her to the restaurant part of the arcade. Root smiled to herself. She was glad to have met Shaw. Being friends with the boys was nice, but she liked having another girl around, even one as rough-and-tumble as Shaw.

She and Harold grabbed their drinks and went to find the others. They were still at the basketball game. Root laughed when she saw the crushed look on John’s face. Shaw lit up when she saw Root and Harold approaching.

“I crushed him so badly. By like 10 baskets.” Shaw bragged, crossing her arms proudly. “I told you I was the best.”

“That you did,” Root confirmed. She took a sip from her drink as John demanded a rematch.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Root thoroughly enjoyed herself. She and Shaw beat John and Harold at almost every game. Shaw had 3 Slurpee’s and almost threw up.

Root thought of Hanna. Hanna would have like Shaw, she decided. Root was determined to be a good friend to Shaw; Shaw needed her the way she’d needed Hanna.

Root wandered over to a shooting game, Mayhem Machine. she loved shooting games more than she cared to admit. Killing Zombies, or Nazis, or Robots, made her feel powerful. She looked around for Shaw.

Spotting her walking around idly drinking soda, Root called her over. “Hey! Come kill Zombies with me.”

Shaw bounded over and placed her cup on the floor. She swiped her card through the reader, grinning at Root. “I didn’t take you for a first-person shooter kind of girl.”

Root scoffed. “I was born and raised in rural Connecticut, you think I’ve never shot a gun?”

Shaw raised her eyebrows, relenting. “Alright, you win, Rambo.”

Root swiped her card and picked her gun up, pulling the trigger to start the game. The two girls played for a minute in silence, only punctuated by Shaw’s concentrated grunts.

“It’s nice that your foster family lets you hang out with us,” Root commented. “Your last family was too controlling.” Root closed one eye to better her aim.

When Shaw didn’t respond, Root glanced over at her. Shaw had stopped shooting, her knuckles white on the plastic gun. Her face was scrunched into a snarl. She turned to Root, her eyes dark with rage.

“How the fuck do you know about my foster life? I haven’t told you shit.”

Root swallowed, realizing her mistake. “I just did some research. I mean, people know you moved in with Angela and Mr. Ingram. I just did a little extra digging.”

Shaw threw her gun on the floor, making Root jump with the clatter. “You have no fucking right to pry into my life.”

“I just wanted- “

“I don’t give a shit about what you wanted.” Shaw took a threatening step toward Root. “You have no right meddling in my life, nosy bitch.” Shaw hesitated, but turned and stormed out of the arcade.

Root sucked in a deep breath, her heart racing. She saw Harold and John hurry towards her. Root shoved her gun back into the older and ran a shaking hand across her forehead.

She had just wanted to know some more about Shaw. They’d been friends for a week and the most Shaw had told her was that she was from New York and she had no siblings.

John put a hand on her shoulder. “You ok? What happened?”

“I looked into Shaw and she found out,” Root said, taking a shaky breath.

“I assume she was upset,” Harold said, disapprovingly. “You know I’m always on your side, but I thought we agreed you’d cut back on the snooping. I don’t think my parents will keep bailing you out of jail.”

Root sighed, nodding. “I know, I know. I can’t help it. She’s just a closed book and I was curious.”

John glanced at the exit, considering running after Shaw. “She didn’t have to be so awful to you.”

Root shrugged. “I invaded her privacy. She’s beaten people up for less.” Root blushed. “Uh, that was in her file.”

Harold just shook his head. “Alright, well, you can make it up to her on Monday.”

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The next week was terrible for Root. She wanted to make up with Shaw, but Shaw wouldn’t even talk to her. She was in every one of Root’s classes, but somehow Shaw managed to make Root feel invisible.

Root had left a note in Shaw’s locker on Monday morning, apologizing. Shaw didn’t say anything about it, but Root had felt Shaw’s eyes boring into her back the entirety of first period.

In science, Harold and John had tried to start a conversation, but Shaw just sat there like a brick. Mr. Ingram had come around assigning lab partners and projects for the semester. When he’d gotten to their table, he handed John and Harold their project. He turned to Shaw and Root and smiled at them.

“I’m sure you two will work well together, considering how fast you became friends.”

Shaw had scowled and growled out, “We’re not friends.”

Root saw how surprised Mr. Ingram was. Shaw must not have told him what Root did. Mr. Ingram’s eyes had flicked between them, but he hadn’t said anything else, just placed two copies of their project syllabus on the table and walked away.

The rest of their classes were the same. Shaw sat next to her, but Root felt miles away. She’d never had a fight like this before. No one she’d ever researched had found out. Root hadn’t thought of it as an invasion of privacy. She’d almost thought that Shaw would like it. Root knew about her life and Shaw would never have to tell her.

Of course, now Root could see that Shaw would have told her when she was ready. You can’t just skip steps in a friendship. Root was just glad that Shaw had ended up on her team in PhysEd every day. She never had to be the direct target of Shaw’s rage.

Root spent the week trying to seem normal, even hanging out with Harold and John after school. She still went on their nightly bike rides, but she couldn’t focus.

By Friday, Root was ready for the week to be over. Shaw had almost sat with them at lunch. Root had watched her pay for her food and turn toward them, but when she noticed Root watching, her face had darkened and she turned away.

Root wondered where Shaw had been eating lunch. An empty classroom? With new friends? Shaw had joined their group pretty easily, maybe she was better at making friends than Root. Root laughed to herself, walking into the locker room. Shaw was terrible at making friends.

Root walked to her locker, Shaw had probably already come and gone. She always wore her gym clothes to school. She sighed and changed quickly, heading out onto the fields. They had started the football section of gym class. It had been a week of hell and there were two weeks of football left.

Root looked over the field. She spotted Shaw stretching a few yards away. It was a warm August day and Shaw had already started sweating. Root admired her glistening arms as she reached up to twist her long hair into a French braid.

Shaw caught Root looking and scowled, stomping onto the field, her fingers still tangled in her hair. At least Root knew Shaw wasn’t angry with her for being gay. Root wandered over to the box of brown and blue flag belts. She wondered if Shaw had a boyfriend back in New York.

She double checked to see what team Shaw was on and grabbed a blue belt. Root was so thankful they only played flag football in class. Having her belt ripped off was a lot less painful than being tackled.

Root took a position towards the end of the line, on the opposite side from Shaw. When the ball was thrown, Root ran back a few feet and then stopped. No one was going to throw the ball to her, so why bother running?

Root looked down to tighten the belt on her waist. She was too skinny for these. She’d shot up in the last year or so, growing 3 inches over the summer. She wondered how tall she’d end up being.

Root heard someone shout her name and looked up. The ball was coming right at her. Instinctively, she leaned forward and caught it. She stared at the ball in her hands. What now?

She saw Shaw running at her, screaming for her to run. Root looked forward, seeing Hersch run at her. She yelped and started running towards Shaw.

Shaw rolled her eyes and reached out, turning Root in the right direction. “Run to the end zone, genius!”

Root just swallowed and kept running. Shaw ran interference for her, yanking the belts of anyone who tried to come near her.

Root looked to her right. Shaw was grinning, caught up in the thrill of the game. Root smiled and looked forward again. She screamed. A large boy was right in front of her. Shaw came from the side and tackled him to the ground. Root jumped over him and stumbled into the end zone.

She looked at the ball in disbelief. She’d made a touch down? She smiled over at Shaw, who was jogging up to her, panting.

“Way to go, Root.” Shaw said, nodding. She squinted at Root and then sniffed, wiping her nose. “Look, I’m still mad at you. That wasn’t cool. I’ll tell you things when I’m ready. If ever.”

Root nodded. “I know and I’m sorry.”

Shaw shrugged, and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Whatever. I have no other friends, so I’ll give you a pass. This time.”

Root grinned, thrilled. She jerked her head back when Shaw shoved a finger in her face.

“You do it again, I’ll beat you up.”

Root nodded, holding a hand up. “I swear.”

“Good.” Shaw grinned wolfishly. “Now, give me the ball. I’m gonna throw it at Hersch’s head.”


	3. The Shut Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short chapter. "Short." It's ~2800 words. Technically, since I've been posting chapters in the wee hours of the morning, this still counts as 3 chapters in 3 days...

Shaw looked around the field, squinting in the afternoon sun. It was the day of soccer tryouts and Shaw was as excited as possible. She enjoyed being part of a team, even though she got competitive. She was confident she could make the team.

Shaw adjusted the strap of her duffel bag. She’d brought her cleats and shin guards. She’d almost just worn them to school today, but Root had talked her out of it. Shaw looked to the bleachers. Root and Harold were sitting together waiting to watch the tryouts. Harold was looking towards the boys’ tryouts, but Root was looking at Shaw.

Shaw gave her a small wave. Root waved back, her arm stretched above her head. Shaw laughed softly and headed for group of girls sitting in the grass, putting their cleats on.

Shaw dropped her bag next to a girl she recognized from her history class. “Hey,” Shaw said, plopping onto the ground.

The girl looked up and nodded, adjusting her shin guard. She held her hand out. “Zoe.”

Shaw finished pulling her cleats out and took the girls hand. “Shaw.”

Zoe tied her hair into a ponytail, looking at the other girls on the field. “What position are you going for?”

“Forward,” Shaw answered, tying her own hair up. “You?”

“Goalie.” Zoe stretched her legs out, reaching for her toes.

Shaw was surprised to see her fold herself in half. She hoped the girl was as talented as she was flexible. Shaw finished tying her shoes and hopped up, pulling her leg behind her, stretching. She saw Joss talking to a blonde girl. When Joss looked her way, Shaw waved.

Joss waved back and then pulled a whistle out of her pocket and put the lanyard around the neck.

“Alright, girls. My name is Joss Carter, I’m the vice-captain. I’m a sophomore. We’re going to start with some laps and then shoot some goals.”

The tryouts lasted about an hour. Shaw was definitely sweating by the end of it. She and Zoe had been paired together for most of the time. Shaw had managed to get a few goals passed her, but Zoe really was a terrific goalie. She was on the team, Shaw was sure of it.

When the tryouts were done, Carter told them the results would be posted on the bulletin board by the front office Monday Morning. When they were dismissed, Joss jogged over to Shaw.

“Hey, I’m glad you came out,” Carter said, smiling.

Shaw nodded, wiping her forehead. “Yeah, me too. I’m sweating more than I expected, though.” She put her hands on her hips, taking a deep breath. “I must be out of shape.”

Carter laughed. “Well, you and Morgan were really going at it. I almost expected someone to throw punches.”

Shaw laughed. “Really? I loved it. She’s pretty impressive.”

Carter patted Shaw on the shoulder. “So were you.” She smiled again and turned away. “Have a good night!”

Shaw waved absently and headed for the bleachers, picking up her duffel bag from the sidelines. She felt like she’d done a good enough job to make the team and Carter had seemed supportive. Shaw was feeling a little bit excited. She enjoyed playing soccer and it was as good a place as any to get out her aggression.

Root jumped up when Shaw got close. Shaw watched her coming bounding down the bleachers.

“That was great!” Root yelled, stopping in front of Shaw. “Here, give me your bag. I can carry it. You must be tired.” She pulled the bag off Shaw’s shoulder.

Shaw let her take it, only grumbling a little. “Thanks.”

They walked together to the bleachers. The boys’ tryout was still happening, so Root and Shaw sat down next to Harold to wait for John.

“How’s he doing?” Shaw asked. “I haven’t looked over there at all.”

“He’s doing well,” Harold answered. “He was captain last year, so I’m sure he’ll be more than adequate.”

They watched John run around for a while. Shaw was impressed with his foot work. Maybe they could practice together in their free time. Root and Harold could do their computer whatever. John scored a goal and the three friends cheered.

Harold turned to Shaw. “Are you coming to our dinner party tonight?”

Shaw frowned. “What dinner party?”

“My parents are friends with yours. They’re hosting a dinner party tonight. John and his family will be there, too.”

Shrugging, Shaw turned to Root. “Will you be there?”

Root smiled, sadly. “No, I, um, my parents are out of town, so I’d have no way to get there or get home.”

“I get that,” Shaw said, amicably. “I guess I’m going,” she said to Harold, “I promise to shower first.”

Harold laughed and gestured to John, who had finished up and was heading toward them. “You and John are both required to shower. I am not a fan of sweat.”

John tossed his bag onto the bleachers, loudly. “Are you insulting my manly musk?”

The friends groaned. “And I’m out,” Shaw announced, grabbing her bag. “’Manly musk’ is my limit.”

She gestured to Root to followed her and stomped off the bleachers. “Come one, let’s leave before we get infected with Fourteen-Year-Old Boy.” She turned to give Root a hand hopping off the bleachers. When Root was on the ground, Shaw smiled at her before dropping her hand. “See you losers, later.”

They headed for the gate to grab their bikes. Shaw threw her bag strap over her head and glanced at Root. Root seemed happy. The past week had been good.

After they’d made up, Root seemed a little less distracted. Shaw had been upset, but she still watched Root. The whole time they’d been fighting, Shaw had debated whether to apologize. She’d had felt so betrayed when Root said she’d been spying. Shaw was a private person and didn’t get attached easily. She never knew when she’d have to move.

They reached their bikes, unlocked them, and headed into the surrounding neighborhoods. Shaw glanced at Root again. Root was peddling slowly, not in any hurry.

“Hey. Root?” Shaw started. “Where do you live?”

Root sped up a little. “I live just outside of town, near the county line.”

“Oh,” Shaw had no idea where that was. “Is it a far ride?”

Root shrugged. “Not too far.”

“Ok,” Shaw could feel that this was a touchy subject, so she tried to sound casual. “I was just wondering if it was close enough for you to come to Harold’s dinner party tonight.” She shrugged. “My parents could drive you home after.”

“No,” Root clipped, “It’s not that close.”

Shaw nodded and slowed to a stop. They’d reached the stop sign where they parted ways. Shaw’s house was straight, and Root’s was left.

Shaw hesitated and then reached out to pat Root’s shoulder. “See you later.” Shaw winced. That was so awkward.

Root smiled at her though, her eyes laughing. “Yeah, I’ll text you.” She kicked off and turned left in the crosswalk.

Shaw watched her go until she couldn’t see her anymore and then rolled her eyes. She was not getting attached to Root. She was just being friendly. Shaw scoffed to herself and kicked off, racing home.

When she got home, she dumped her bike in the lawn and let herself into the house. She had been surprised when Angela and Nathan had given her a key. They really wanted her to feel at home and have the freedom to hang out with friends.

“I’m home!” Shaw called out, kicking off her cleats in the front hallway. She started towards the stairs.

“Come into the kitchen,” Angela called back.

She dumped her bag onto the bottom stair and turned to walk through the dining room into the kitchen. She smiled at Angela and hopped onto a stool at the island.

Angel was wearing an apron and oven mitts. She smiled back at Shaw and opened the oven. Shaw watched her pull out a tray of cookies. Her stomach growled.

Angela eyed her knowingly, pulling off the mittens. “You can have one snack.”

Shaw hopped back off the stool and went to the fridge. “Thanks! Don’t worry, though. I’ll still have an appetite at the dinner party.”

Angela looked surprised. “How did you know about that?”

“Harold told me,” she answered, pulling out a yogurt. She grabbed a spoon. “He made me promise to shower.”

Angela laughed and watched Shaw sit. “I didn’t realize you and Harold were close. I’m glad you’ll have fun at the party.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘close.’ I’m closer to Root than the boys.

“Root?” Angela asked.

“Oh, Samantha Groves. She goes by Root.”

Angela’s face changed. Shaw couldn’t figure out what it meant. “Oh, yes, Sam.” Angela smiled again. “You should have invited her to the party.”

“I tried.” Shaw finished her yogurt and put it on the counter. “She said her parents were out of town and she lived too far to ask for a ride.”

Angela nodded, her face giving nothing away. “Alright, well, thank you for reaching out.” She turned and busied herself with the sink. “Go jump in the shower.”

Shaw didn’t understand what just happened. Was there something about Root she didn’t know. Shaw frowned. This was one of the disadvantages of being new to town; she didn’t know all the gossip. She sighed and slid off the stool. “What’s the dress code?”

“Semi-formal. I got you a dress. It’s on your bed.”

“Thanks.”

Shaw headed for the stairs, grabbing her bag as she started to climb them. The stairs were hardwood, which Shaw normally loved. Now, though, her legs were tired and the hardwood was unforgiving on her sore feet.

She walked down the hall to her room. Pushing the door open, she tossed her bag on the bed. Shaw started undressing, hopping around as she pulled off her shin guards.

Angela and Nathan had driven her to Target when she’d first moved in. They let her pick out whatever she wanted to decorate her room. She’d had bought about 6 large pillows, a black set of sheets, and a dark blue rug. She hadn’t wanted too much else. She didn’t want to over decorate if she couldn’t take anything with her.

Shaw had asked to paint the room a royal blue. To her surprise, they’d let her. Shaw looked around her room. In the fading light, it was cool and comfortable. Shaw liked how it became cave-like in the dark.

Shaw sighed. Enough stalling, she had to get ready.

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An hour later, Shaw was standing in front of Harold’s house holding a plate of cookies. She looked up at the towering building. It was more a mansion than a house. Shaw counted about 12 windows just on the front of the building. She sighed and watched Angela ring the doorbell.

A dog barked inside the house. A second later, Harold pulled open the door. He smiled at Angela and Nathan before turning to Shaw.

“Hello! I’m glad you could make it.”

Shaw rolled her eyes and stepped forward into the house. “Did I hear a dog bark?”

Harold nodded and shut the door. “That’s Bear.”

“Bear?” Shaw said, incredulously. “Like our school mascot.”

“Exactly!” Harold said, please that she’d picked up on that. “He’s a sweet dog.”

Shaw shoved the plate of cookies into his arms. “Lead me to him.”

“Sameen,” Angela scolded, lightly, “Let’s greet everyone and then you, Harold, and John can go see Bear.”

Shaw grumbled, but followed Harold and her foster parents into the dining room. Shaw almost whistled at all the food on the table. She waved to John, who was also staring at the food.

“Everyone, this is Sameen.” Nathan announced to the room. “She’s in John and Harold’s class.”

Shaw waved awkwardly when everyone looked at her. “Hello. That you for inviting me.”

Harold’s mother smiled. “Of course. We’ve heard a lot about you from the boys.”

Shaw’s eyes narrowed and she glared at John, who just shrugged.

Angela laid a hand on Shaw’s shoulder. She looked at the adults in the room. “I promised Sameen that she and the boys could go play with Bear.” When the other adults laughed, Angela patted Shaw’s shoulder. “Go on, but try not to ruin your dress.”

Shaw nodded and looked at Harold. He put the plate of cookies on the table and headed back into the foyer. She and John followed him.

As soon as they were out of sight, Shaw slipped out of her heels. She groaned. “Ugh, I hate things like this. I always have to wear heels and stupid dresses.”

“You look great,” John commented. “I love the dress.”

Shaw rolled her eyes as they continued into the house. “I know I look great, John. I work very hard for this body. I just wished you could be formal in sweatpants.”

Harold opened a door. “This is my room. Bear stays with me.”

Shaw pushed passed him and headed straight for the dog. Bear rushed up to her panting. Shaw dropped to her knees and started petting him. She looked over her shoulder at Harold and John who had both dropped on the bed. “He is the cutest dog ever.”

“I’ve had him for about a year,” Harold said. “He’s almost 2 and a half years old now.”

“Oh, yeah?” Shaw asked, scratching Bears ears. “Your parents finally relent?”

“Actually,” Harold said, hesitating. He glanced at John, who nodded. “He’s been trained to be my service dog. I had my accident last year.”

“Oh,” Shaw saw how uncomfortable the boys seemed. “Can I ask what happened?”

John shook his head. “No, that’s not really our story to tell.”

Shaw didn’t know what he meant. She realized to must be about Hanna, Root’s missing friend. Something must have happened to her. ‘Robotics Accident,’ Harold had said.

Shaw changed the subject. “Do you have a pool here?”

Harold nodded. “Yeah, it’s actually an indoor pool. We can swim year-round.”

“Oh, man,” Shaw said, smirking, “I fell in with the right group of friends.”

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Shaw lay in bed hours later. She fiddled with her phone, trying to decide if Root would still be awake this late. She finally gave in and just sent her a text, figuring she’d see it in the morning.

//party was awkward wish youd been there to suffer with me//

Shaw reached over to plug her phone in, placing her phone on her nightstand. She pulled her comforter over her eyes, thankful the house had central air. Shaw’s favorite way to sleep was in a freezing room, covered in blankets.

She was almost asleep when her phone buzzed. She blearily swung her arm out to grab it. The brightness of the screen blinded her for a second.

//I’m almost glad I missed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. Hope y'all are ready for some #DRAMA


	4. Party Hard, Cry Harder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mention of self-harm, Mention of death
> 
> So, I'm really trying to like not worry about word count. Sometimes I feel like 'things aren't happening fast enough!' but then also 'I need more words!' That is to say, things are going to take their time. I hope that's cool.

Root arrived at the party about an hour later than she had meant to. She hadn’t been able to decide what to wear. It was warm for September, so anything was fair game. Root had stood at the mirror in her parents’ room for hours. If she dressed sexy, maybe Shaw would notice. She could also play it cool and dress down, seeming comfortable.

She’d settled for her normal look, just jeans and a T-shirt. She could just win Shaw over with her personality.

Root dropped her bike into the pile and headed into the house. She’d asked Harold if she could sleepover tonight and he’d agreed. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to come.

Root walked down the hall, narrowly avoiding having a drink spilled on her.

“Hey!” Carter walked up to Root. “You’re Shaw’s friend, right?”

Root nodded, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Yeah! You’re Carter, right?”

Carter held her out and forced Root to take it. “Joss! Call me Joss!” She saw Root glance at her red cup and smiled. “Don’t worry! It’s just Coke! I’m DD!” She gestured behind her. “There’s alcohol in the kitchen if you want some, though.”

Root nodded. She had no intention of drinking, but all the yelling over the music was giving her a headache. “Thanks!”

Joss nodded and moved on, pushing passed Root into the living room. Root couldn’t see Shaw anywhere, so she continued into the kitchen. When she got to the doorway, she found her.

Shaw was sitting on the kitchen counter, one leg crossed over the other. She was wearing the shortest pair of shorts Root had ever seen. When Shaw leaned to the side, Root could see all the way up.

Shaw’s shirt was also very small. A dark red tank top that flowed down and stopped at her bully button. Her pieced belly button. Root flushed. Shaw looked amazing, her flowing hair and perfect make-up adding to her already stunning looks.

She was surrounded by boys. Root watched someone hand her a lime and a shot of, presumably, tequila. Shaw counted down from 5 loudly and everyone shallowed their shots. She shoved the lime in her mouth, shimmying her shoulders.

Shaw’s eyes met Root’s. For a moment, Root thought Shaw looked guilty, but it was gone so fast, she couldn’t be sure.

Root watched as Shaw slowly lowered the lime from her mouth., her lips glistening. Root swallowed hard. She started to walk towards Shaw, but froze when Shaw reached her hand out to the boy next to her. Without breaking eye contact with Root, Shaw pulled the boy closer and pressed their lips together. Her eyes finally closed as her hands held the boys head against her.

Root thought she was going to throw up. She turned on her heels and walked out, trying to ignore the sound of cheers from the kitchen. She burst out of the front of the house, struggling to breath. Could she have been wrong about Sameen? Was Sameen still upset about Root’s spying and this was her revenge? Crushing a gay girl’s heart?

Root looked around, trying to figure out what to do. Where were Harold and John?

She pulled out her phone, dialing with shaky fingers. The phone rang twice.

“Hey, Root!” Harold’s cheery voice answered. The slight crackle of his voice told her she was on speaker, but there was no music on Harold’s end.

“Where the fuck are you guys?”

There was a moment of static filled silence and then John’s voice came through the phone. “We’re at Harold’s; we thought you’d want the alone time with Shaw.”

“Root, is something wrong?” Harold asked.

Root let out a loud, angry sob. “Is something wrong? Of course, something is wrong! Sameen is what’s wrong!”

“Yes, she is proving to be a mercurial friend.”

“Go fuck yourself, Harold.” Root hit the red button and headed back into the party, shoving her phone in her pocket.

If Shaw was going to be a bitch, then Root was going to be a bitch. She shouldered her way through the crowd, ignoring the sting of her angry tears, but when she got to the kitchen Shaw was gone.

For a fleeting second, Root had the thought that maybe Shaw felt bad and had gone to find her. Root rolled her eyes, punching the doorframe. Shaw probably went off to fuck that guy. She thought she was such a worldly 15-year-old. Root punched the door frame again.

“Whoa, hey!” Grace appeared at Root’s side. “Please don’t break anything. My parents don’t know about this.”

“Then you shouldn’t have thrown the fucking party.” Root lunged at Grace but a strong arm came between them.

“Hey! Break it up!” Joss gently moved Grace into the kitchen and pulled Root’s arm until she turned to face her. “What is wrong with you?”

Root looked at her, defiant, but couldn’t hold it for long. A wracking sob escaped her and she started crying in earnest.

“Oh no,” Carter started, handing her cup to Grace, “Ok, girl, we got you.” She guided Root into the kitchen and Grace pulled out a chair for her to sit.

Carter squatted in front of Root, whose face was buried in her hands. She gently pulled Root’s hands down, and pushed her hair behind her ears.

“Whoever he is, he isn’t worth it,” Carter said, being reassuring.

Root took the cool, wet cloth Grace offered her and rolled with it. “We haven’t even known each other that long. But I really like, uh, him,” She said, pressing the cloth to her forehead.

“It’s all these dumb hormones,” Joss joked, “They make us crazy.”

“I just want someone to love me.” Root hated how small she sounded, but she felt so confused.

Grace sat down on the floor next to Joss. “We’re only children, honey, and don’t let anyone tell you high school is the best time of your life.” She and Joss laughed.

Root gave a watery chuckle. “I know, but after Hanna…” Root froze and looked up, face red.

Both Grace and Joss were smiling at her. Joss laid a hand on her knee. “I know, girls can be just as awful as boys.”

The three girls laughed. Joss put her hands on her knees and pushed herself to stand. “You want me to take you home? or do you just want to get drunk?”

Root sighed. “Would being drunk make me feel better?”

Carter laughed. “It might help.”

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The rest of the night had passed in a blur. Root thought she saw Shaw at one point, but decided not to care. Later in the evening, John and Harold showed up. She thought she remembered being carried to Joss’ car, but she couldn’t remember for sure.

Root blinked into the early afternoon light. She looked around. She was at Harold’s house, in the guest bedroom that was always made up for her. She sat up, groaning.

Her head hurt so much. This must be from drinking. She couldn’t think of any reason an adult would do this for fun. It was nice while she was drunk, she didn’t care about anything, but now she regretted it. She raised a hand to her head and squinted to block out the light.

Her door creaked open and Harold’s head appeared. Root smiled as a second later, Bear and John stuck their heads in, too. When they saw she was up, Harold opened the door, letting Bear bound in.

Bear jumped on the bed, licking Root’s face. She laughed and pushed him until he laid down.

“Not now, buddy. My head hurts too much.”

Harold sat on the edge of the bed and took a tray from John. “We made you breakfast, as an apology for leaving you alone and because I read that greasy food helps with hangovers.”

Root smiled and took the tray. “Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.” She picked up a fork and started cutting up the pancakes. “I’m sorry for being so mean last night.”

John shrugged and climbed onto the bed, leaning against the wall. “I understand. You were upset. Do you want to talk about it?”

Root swallowed her bite. “Shaw basically made out with a guy right in front of me.”

“Maybe she isn’t gay?” Harold questioned, looking thoughtful. “I had assumed, but I had also thought Zoe was gay at first, too, until I caught her and John- “

“Ahem,” John cleared his throat, “Now is not the time.”

Root laughed, finishing her piece of bacon. “It’s alright. I want to hear about this.” She gave a piece to Bear.

“Well,” Harold started, giving John a knowing look, “After you and Shaw left yesterday, John and Zoe went back to their ‘lockers.’ Then, when they took abnormally long, I tried to find them.”

Root giggled. “Let me guess, 2nd base?”

“No!” John protested. “We were just kissing!”

Harold and Root laughed at his discomfort, but Root ended up groaning.

“I think I need some Advil.”

Harold nodded and gestured for John to get up. “I’ll go dig some up. You can finish eating and then come out. Come on, Bear.”

The three boys left the room. Root watched Harold close the door and sighed. She didn’t know if she wanted to be alone. What Shaw did still stung, but maybe Root was wrong.

Maybe Shaw didn’t like girls at all. Root looked down at her plate. Had she just been projecting her own feelings onto Shaw? It was hard being the only gay girl in a small town. Root didn’t know anyone else who was gay.

Root closed her eyes. When she thought about it, it would have had to be fate for Shaw to be gay. A new girl comes into town and she just happens to also be a lesbian; that would have been too easy.

Root looked for her phone. If Shaw hadn’t done it to spite her, then maybe everything was still normal and Shaw had texted her.

Root looked at her phone, but there was just a text from an unknown number. She opened it and smiled.

//Hey, It’s Joss (Carter)! I just wanted to see how you were doing after you threw up in my car. Just kidding! You were a very cute drunk and whoever hurt you should be ashamed! Get Shaw to beat them up on Monday! //

Root smiled and text back a thank you. Joss had been an unexpected ally last night. It did make her a little nervous that Shaw hadn’t texted her. She sent her a quick hello and turned her phone off.

She’d see how they stood tomorrow.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root walked into school on Monday feeling apprehensive. They were only a month into high school, but Root was already dreading the next four years.

Shaw never texted her back on Sunday. Root tried to assure herself that she might just have been busy or actually doing homework or even sleeping off her own hangover, but despite the boys’ reassurances, Root couldn’t help but feel that something had changed.

In spite of herself, Root was relieved when Shaw didn’t show up to first period. She hadn’t formulated any sort of plan to confront Shaw about the party. She wanted to just ignore it and pretend nothing had happened. Shaw had gotten her point across, she wasn’t interested in girls or Root.

Root’s relief was short-lived. When she walked into Biology, she saw Shaw talking to Mr. Ingram at the front of the class. It looked like Shaw had spent first period helping Mr. Ingram rearrange the lab tables. Where they’d been pushed together to form squares before, they’d now been spread out, two people to a table.

Root walked to her seat and looked over the equipment that had been set up. It looked like they’d be doing some sort of DNA test. Mr. Ingram had asked them to bring in cups full of clear Gatorade that had been swished in their mouths for two minutes. They’d need to bring samples from themselves and their parents. Root sat down and sighed, pulling out her notebook. Her parents were still absent, so she’d only been able to bring in her own sample.

Harold and John waved to her as they answered. They dropped their things onto their table and turned around to talk to Root.

“So,” John started, “what did she say?”

“Nothing,” Root replied. “She wasn’t in our first class. I think she was here setting this up.” Root’s eyes drifted over the boys’ shoulders and caught Shaw turning away. “I guess I’ll try to talk to her now.

“You’ll do fine, Root.” Harold said, supportively. “I believe in you.”

Root laughed. “Thanks?”

“Move, Nerds.” Shaw appeared at John’s side and shooed them away. She sat heavily on her stool and dropped her bag on the ground. She didn’t look at Root, just stared straight at the chalkboard.

“Good morning. I missed you in English,” Root offered, trying to start the conversation.

Shaw didn’t look at her, though. Instead, Root watched her jaw clench.

The bell rang and Mr. Ingram waved everyone to their seats. “Alright, Class. On Friday, I asked everyone to bring in a sample of their DNA and their parents DNA. I know it’s probably gross to carry around a jar of backwash, but at least it’s only second period! Think of those poor kids in my last class.” He smiled when everyone laughed. “If you don’t have anything from your parents, you can use the DNA of a person sitting next to you.”

Root scoffed. That was useless. The whole point was to see how closely your parents’ DNA lined up with your own. For a moment, she was furious with her parents. Why couldn’t they just care enough to be there for her. They had missed so many of her milestones, already, and they were probably going to miss the rest. If it weren’t for her ability to hack her way into their bank accounts, she’d be out on the street, starving.

Root shook her head. This was not the time. She needed to talk to Shaw, but when she turned to ask about her sample, Shaw had already pulled it out. She was holding out her cup for Root to take.

“I’m sorry,” Root apologized, “I stopped paying attention for a minute. What are we supposed to do?”

Shaw rolled her eyes and pulled the rack of test tubes towards her. She opened her cup and poured it into two test tubs. She held her hand out, not looking at Root.

Root realized that Shaw wanted her sample and quickly passed it over. Shaw poured out her samples and wrote out labels. Shaw had nice handwriting, Root thought. It was simple and strong.

Shaw labelled the test tubes and sat back. “That’s all he said so far. You can do the rest.”

Root nodded and fiddled with her pencil. They’d finished quickly, so they had a few minutes to spare.

“Hey, Shaw- “

“Don’t.” Shaw glared at her. “We’re not friends. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

Root’s heart sank. So, Saturday night had been a message after all. Root just nodded at Shaw, blinking back her tears. Shaw watched her for another moment and then turned away, determinedly staring at the white board.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

A month passed without incident. Root tried her best to avoid Shaw and Shaw just let her. Root chose to do laps in PhysEd instead of play sports now that her protection was gone. Hersch had teamed up with an older boy, Lambert, to make her life a living hell.

Somehow, the whole school knew about Shaw breaking Root’s heart. She supposed in a small town, word got around fast. Especially when everyone already knew about Root’s terrible eight grade year.

Root pedaled her bike down the street, letting Harold and John ride ahead. They’d been going on night time bike rides for years now, usually on nights when they were having a sleepover. The past few weeks, they’d been having sleepovers three or four times a week. Harold said it was because Bear was lonely, but Root knew they were doing it for her.

When Hanna had died, Root had spent a year in a fog. She could barely eat or sleep, much less do schoolwork. Harold and John had been there for her, carrying her through the year and not leaving her side. Root had thought that she’d never get over it. How could she ever get over killing a friend?

She had though, slowly, but surely, she’d started doing her homework again, started eating real food. She’d gotten interested in computers again, started digging for information about her parents, tracking them around the world. Sometimes she’d idly wondered if they’d even come home if she had managed to kill herself. She doubted it.

Root stood on her pedals, her hair flowing behind her as she rode. She smiled at Harold and John when they looked back at her.

“I’m still here,” Root joked, speed up to ride between them.

“We were just checking,” Harold admitted, guilty.

“I’m alright, guys. How can I be sad when I’ve got my boys?”

Root and John laughed when Harold blushed. John turned right at a stop sign.

“Let’s ride by the school. We never go that way.”

Root followed him. “We never go that way because this is our free time. Riding by the school at night is like an inmate driving by a prison for the nostalgia.”

“A good analogy, Root.” Harold said, smiling. “Incredibly apt.”

Root squinted ahead. “It looks like someone is running in the field.”

As they got closer, Root swallowed. It was Shaw.

“That’s odd,” Harold mumbled, “Why would she be running this late at night?”

“I don’t care,” John growled. “The bitch can rot.”

Root slowed down, letting her foot drag on the ground. She stopped just next to the open gate. “You guys go ahead.”

John and Harold stopped a few feet ahead. They looked at each other, nervous.

“Guys, I’ll be fine,” Root said, trying to sound reassuring. “I’m just going to talk to her and I’ll go straight to Harold’s afterwards.”

The boys looked reluctant, but they nodded and rode away. With them went some of Root’s courage. She swallowed again, her mouth dry. She could do this. She was tough and strong and confident.

Even in her own head, it sounded pathetic, but Root kicked off the ground and rode her bike out onto the field. She had to know why Shaw abandoned their friendship.

“What is wrong with you?” Root called, hopping of her bike and letting it fall to the ground. “Did someone tell you something about me that made you hate me? Did I come off too strong? What did I do?”

Shaw stopped running and watched her impassively. After a minute, she sighed and started running again.

“No!” Root yelled, running to put herself in front of Shaw. “What is your deal?”

Shaw frowned, her eyebrows drawing down. “Leave me alone. I’m not bothering you.”

“All you do is bother me!”

“Then you should be happy I broke off our friendship,” Shaw justified, side stepping Root.

Root reached for her arm, pulling her back. Shaw pushed Root’s hand off, her face dark with rage. “Get your hands off me.”

“Or what?” Root asked, throwing her arms up, frustrated, “you’ll befriend me and then crush me?”

Shaw crossed her arms. “You’re better off without me.”

“Oh my god,” Root shook her head, incredulous, “Is this a Young Adult novel? Are you secretly a Vampire? or a Spy? What could be so awful that you can’t be fucking nice to me?”

“I’m not a friendship person, Root. Get the message.” She turned and took off.

Root didn’t chase her this time. She just screamed. “You aren’t the only one who’s jaded, Sameen! You don’t hold the monopoly on complicated relationships.”

Shaw ignored her and just kept running around the field, her French braid slapping against her back.

“Do you want to know how Harold, John and I became friends? We met in 3rd grade, but we didn’t get really close until 6th grade. My best friend, my…” Root closed her eyes, “My girlfriend, Hanna, made me join the science club. I was so small and scared of everyone, my parents were always gone, are always gone and she knew that I needed someone to believe in me.

“Harold had made John join. The two of them have been best friends from birth, but Hanna,” Root felt tears fall from her clenched eyes, “Hanna could make friends with anyone and we became a team. We all got Tamagotchi’s, you know, those dumb egg toy things. We pretended they were communicators and we’d pretend to talk to each other through them.

“We were Team Machine, inseparable. Then in 7th grade…” Root couldn’t help the sob that escaped her. “In 7th Grade, we joined the Robotics club. It was just the four of us. Team Machine building Machine Teams. It was so perfect, until…” She trailed off.

Root opened her eyes, jumping when Shaw was right next to her, her face still unreadable. Root met her eyes and squeezed out, “We were testing our robot fighters for the derby. Mine flew. It was still experimental and I was supposed to do it in a separate room, but Hanna really wanted to watch. I pressed the button to spin the propeller, but instead of flying up…it went right through her.”

Root felt warm arms encircle her shoulders and she let go, sobbing uncontrollably. Shaw lowered them both to the ground holding her.

When Root could control herself again, once her sobs had subsided and her breathing slowed, she looked up at Shaw. Shaw still looked calm, almost far away. Root didn’t know if she should be angry or relieved that Shaw didn’t seem affected.

“I want to help you like Hanna helped me,” Root confessed at a whisper.

Shaw gave her a small smile, but dropped her arms and stood, leaving Root on the ground. “I’m sorry for your loss, Root. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” She shrugged, looking over Root’s head into the darkness. “But I’m not a pity project.”

She gazed down at Root, eyes cold. “I am nobody’s pity project. I am not Hanna. The sooner you realize that the better. Talk to me when you want a friend, not a savior.”

Root gasped, feeling short of breath. Shaw stepped around her and ran away, through the school’s gate and down the street. Root dug her hands into the grass, trying to ground herself. She didn’t want a savior or a protector. She just wanted…She didn’t know what she wanted.

For the first time in a long time, she felt very young and very small.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I graduated high school like 6 years ago and also I majored in theater so any weird science class things could be totally wrong, but I promise I looked up a Science Class DNA test, so here's hoping
> 
> Who do you think should apologize?


	5. Winter Break Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters in one day?? Guys, This story is pouring out of me.

The rest of the semester was hell. For two months, Shaw ignored Root and the boys. Shaw couldn’t decide what was worse – Root staring at her whenever she thought she could get away with it or John staring at her whenever he thought she’d notice. After her decision to not be friends with Root and the boys, she felt odd. Not guilty, that was something Sameen had never felt, but something was…wrong.

Shaw and Root were still lab partners. They’d finished their DNA project together. They’d been forced to make a poster board and give a presentation. Shaw was never one for public speaking, but standing next to Root behind the podium, feeling the soft wool of Root’s scarf against her arm, she felt more nervous than she had ever felt before.

If she was being honest, Root had done most of the work. Shaw had emailed her some pictures of her family, her biological family, and Root had put the whole presentation together. Shaw had been able to feel how scared of public speaking Root was, but Root had put on a confident face and when the presentation was over, so was the semester.

The last day of PhysEd was a joke. It was December now, so the last few weeks of school had been spent indoors. Today, the coach hadn’t even made them play a sport. Shaw couldn’t keep still, though, and she and Joss had challenged Hersch and Lambert to a two-on-two game of soccer. Of course, Shaw and Joss had won by a landslide.

When the game was over, Shaw couldn’t help but look around for Root, to see if she’d seen their victory, but Root’s head was buried in a book and Shaw couldn’t tell if she’d even noticed they were playing.

Shaw had never felt like this before. Not lonely, or maybe, she thought as she stood in the locker room’s showers, she was lonely and this is what that felt like. Shaw had taken to staying in the shower until well after the last bell rang. Partly to avoid Root and partly to prolong the warmth of the school.

The temperature had begun to drop in mid-November. The night she’d broken up with Root on the track was one of her last nights running.

Shaw pushed her wet hair out of her face. Not ‘broken up’ with Root, ‘parted ways’ with Root. She and Root were never anything and so there was nothing to break up. Shaw sighed and turned the shower off. The last heavy drops were loud in the empty shower.

She stepped out onto the cold, tile floor and picked up her towel from the bench. Drying her hair, she moved to a mirror. She’d grown about half an inch since she moved here. Root had grown nearly two, Shaw thought, annoyed. At this rate, Root would be almost half a head taller than her by the end of Sophomore year. Not that she’d be hanging out with Root then.

Shaw bent forward and finished toweling her hair. She wrapped her towel around herself, grabbed her gym clothes, and headed for her locker. She felt fine walking around naked, no boys were allowed in their side of the locker room and all the girls had gone home anyway.

Shaw reached for her lock, but stopped when she saw Root’s locker. Someone had spray-painted DYKE across the entire door. It hadn’t been there when Shaw went into the gym for class, but Shaw had headed straight to the showers afterwards to avoid running into Root. Had someone done it during class and left it for Root to find?

Shaw growled and marched over to the large first aid kit on the wall. She ripped it open and pulled out several alcohol wipes. Angrily, she ripped them open on the way to back the locker. It took her almost 20 minutes to scrub it all off, but when it was gone, she felt calmer.

Root wouldn’t even see that it was gone until she came back in January, but at least Shaw knew that she’d never have to see it again. Until someone else did it.

Not for the first time, Shaw wished she could stand up to Root’s bullies, but that wasn’t her job anymore. Shaw threw the dry wipes onto the floor. It was never her ‘job,’ she’d just done it because she wanted to. Root had made her want to.

This was ridiculous. Shaw opened her locker and got dressed in the extra clothes she’d brought. She quickly put her coat on. Pulling her arms through the straps of her bag, Shaw headed for the exit. She glanced at her phone before she out her mittens on. It was almost four o’clock. In late December, the sun would be starting to set before she made it home.

She quickly wrapped her scarf around herself and turned into the entrance way. Two boys standing in front of the double doors stopped her.

“Harold. John.” Shaw nodded, hoping whatever this was would be over quickly so she didn’t have to ride home in the dark. Even with the roads salted, it was a tricky ride.

“We need to talk,” John stated, stepping towards her, his hands deep in his pockets. “About what you did today.”

Shaw shook her head, her eyebrows drawing down. “I didn’t do anything? Do you mean the presentation? I could have helped more, sure, but Root loves organizing that sort of thing.”

Harold frowned. “We’re not talking about your sup-par team work. We’re talking about your vandalizing her locker.”

Shaw’s head tilted to the side. “You mean the slur on her locker? I didn’t do that. I didn’t even see it until I got out of the shower.” She stuck her thumb out over her shoulder. “I just finished cleaning it off with alcohol wipes. That’s what took me so long to get out here.”

John and Harold exchanged a glance. Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Guys, I’m not that big of a bitch. I don’t hate Root that much.” Shaw shrugged, acting casual. “I don’t hate Root at all.”

John took another step towards her. “Doesn’t seem that way.”

“Look, I didn’t tell her I hate her. I just said that I’m not the friendship type. I’m not some carefree teenager with a college dream. I’m probably not even going to college. I’ll just join the marines or something.” Shaw ran a hand over her face, glad for the scratch of her mittens. “I’m sorry that she thought it was me. Can you just tell her it wasn’t? Tell her it’s gone and she won’t see it again.”

“It seems to me, Ms. Shaw,” Harold said, thoughtfully, “that you care how Root feels.”

Shaw tensed up, hating that her face flushed. “I don’t care. I care so little. Don’t tell her anything! Let her think that it was me, whatever. I don’t care.”

John’s mouth tilted up into a half smile. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

“Shakespeare, John?” Shaw mocked. “You’re quoting Shakespeare at me?”

John shrugged. “Joss is into it. She’s got me watching all the movies.”

“Since when do you hang out with Joss?”

John looked at her, shocked. “We’ve been dating for a month, Shaw. Haven’t you noticed that I’ve been at all your games?”

Shaw shrugged. “I assumed you were there to intimidate me or something.”

“Not everything is about you, Ms. Shaw,” Harold said, his hand massaging his leg. He turned to John. “Alright, let’s go. She obviously didn’t do it.”

John nodded giving her one last considering look. He turned to go, but hesitated, looking back at her. “I know that you’re hellbent on being detached from emotions and friendship, but Root is good people. We’re good people.” He shrugged. “You can be friends with someone and not be glued to them. Think about it.”

Shaw stared at him. She sniffed and looked away. “Whatever.”

“Merry Christmas,” Harold offered as they walked out.

Shaw just turned around and didn’t look back until the sound of the boys’ footsteps was gone and the front doors slammed shut. She let her head fall back and sighed.

Root thought she had written DYKE on her locker? Shaw would never do that. Shaw wasn’t even a full-hetero. Not that Root knew that, Shaw didn’t tell her anything. Shaw had two weeks to think of what to do, so she decided to give herself a break.

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Shaw woke up the next day much later than she’d hoped. She’d been up all night, unable to sleep, desperately wanting to call Root and tell her that she hadn’t graffitied her locker. Shaw didn’t care that she was gay because Shaw was gay (partly) and, anyway, she’d never do something like that. Root wouldn’t know that. 

All Root knew was that she’d poured her heart out to Shaw and Shaw had just walked away. Shaw groaned and sat up, glad she’d thrown her phone across the room yesterday. The floor was too cold to walk across right now.

There was a knock on her door.

“Come in,” Shaw called.

The door opened and Angela stuck her head in. “Morning, Sweetie. We have breakfast downstairs if you want to come down?”

“Is the heat on?” Shaw grumbled, rubbing her eyes. “I’m freezing.”

Angela laughed. “Yes, it’s warm downstairs. You know, you have a radiator in here. Feel free to use it.”

“I like sleeping in the cold. It’s waking up in the cold that’s the problem.” Shaw complained, but she swung her legs out of bed and quickly stepped onto her rug. “Do you see my shoes?”

“Well,” Angela said, pushing the door fully open and walking into the room, “Where did you put them last.”

Shaw turned to glare at her. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be ask- oh, I left them in the bathroom.”

Angela smiled and moved aside, letting Shaw through. “I’ll grab your robe.”

Once Shaw was appropriately warm, she headed downstairs with Angela. It was two days until Christmas and Nathan had insisted on decorating. There were garlands all around the house and the Christmas tree in the living room was decorated from head to toe in shiny ornaments.

Shaw padded into the kitchen, knocking lightly into the doorway because her eyes had closed. She heard four people laugh. Opening her eyes, her already grumpy face pulled down even further.

“What are they doing here?” She asked, glaring at Harold and John. “It’s too early to deal with nerds.”

“Shaw,” John protested, acting hurt, “I’m an athlete like you. I’m not a nerd.”

Shaw walked to the Island and slid onto a stool across from them. “Can’t you like name all the parts of 10 different hunting rifles?”

“Yes, but that’s an athletic thing, not a nerd thing.”

Shaw just squinted at him as she took pancakes from a stack in the center of the island. The Ingrams, Shaw, and the boys ate amicably chatting about their winter break plans. Shaw planned to get her learner’s permit. She would have gotten it months ago, but she’d been lazy about studying.

After they’d finished breakfast, Angela and Nathan left to do the last of their Christmas shopping, leaving Harold, John, and Shaw alone. Shaw stared at the awkwardly for a moment before gesturing that they should follow her.

“Come on, we can play video games in my room and you can tell me why you’re here.”

She led them upstairs and into her bedroom. They looked around while she turned the tv on.

“This is a nice room,” Harold commented. He looked around, slightly confused. “Is this all of your stuff?”

Shaw looked around. She had two dressers, a small one that had the tv and N64 on it and a taller one that had her mirror. She had her rug, a nightstand with a lamp and her large bed. Other than that, it was just a poster of Gloria Steinem, Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft, and Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon. The room was pretty empty.

Shaw shrugged. “I don’t get attached to stuff. I usually just move around with a backpack.”

“Don’t get attached to stuff. Don’t get attached to people,” John murmured.

Shaw dropped the controller she was holding onto the floor. “What are you guys doing here?”

Harold adjusted his shirt nervously. “Your parents invited us over and it would have been rude to refuse. Have you not told them we aren’t close anymore?”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “I don’t keep them up to date on all of my interpersonal relationships, no. I wished they’d asked instead of just inviting you over.” She hesitated, but asked, “Why isn’t Root here?”

John sat on Shaw’s bed. “Travel issues. She lives pretty far and the roads are slick.”

“When I get my license, I can just pick—“ she stopped herself. She wasn’t friends with them anymore and she wasn’t going to be.

Harold and John exchanged a look that she decided to ignore.

“Do you guys want to play a game or not? I’ve got Mario Kart,” she offered.

John nodded and slid to the floor. “Come on, Harold.” He turned to Shaw. “Harold’s actual great at this game. He’s like one with the computer.”

Shaw glowered at him. “I’ll bet you five bucks I can beat him.”

John spit into his hand and held it out. “You’re on.”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

By the time winter break ended, Shaw was going stir-crazy. She’d been exercising in her room and texting with John and Harold, but she was very ready to go back to school. She had made up her mind about what to do with Root and, as she walked into school on Monday, she was determined to see it through.

After John and Harold left that day, Shaw had offered her first step at friendship. She had allowed Harold and John to text her, under the strict condition that Root wouldn’t know, and they had helped her with her plan. It was time for Operation: Take Root.

Shaw walked into first period and slide into place behind Root.

“Hello!” Shaw said, trying to sound cheery. “I see you got a haircut!”

Root didn’t turn around at first, but after a moment, she slowly turned her head, surprised that Shaw was speaking to her.

Shaw was smiling, hopefully in a friendly way and not in an I’m-going-to-skin-your-cat way. Root looked almost the same as she did before Winter Break, but Shaw noticed some differences.

“I like your nail polish. The black suits you!” Shaw tried, slowly becoming aware that Root wasn’t responding in anyway. “Uh, did you have a good break?”

Root blinked, confused. “Um, it was fine. Just a long weekend.”

“Get anything good for Christmas? I got my learner’s permit over break.” Shaw leaned forward, noticing Root was wearing a sweet perfume. When Root didn’t answer, Shaw felt her resolve cracking. “Uh, is that a new perfume?”

Root’s face drew down. “Are you making fun of me?”

“What?” Shaw shook her head. “No! I’m being friendly.”

Root nodded. “I can tell. I think.” Her head tilted. “What happened?”

Shaw opened her mouth to tell her… something. She was sorry. She wanted to be friends. She had a surprise, but the bell rang and Root turned around shaking her head.

Shaw spent all of first period staring at Root’s back. Wishing they weren’t in rows so she could talk to her. Why was Root being so cautious? Had the boys forgotten to tell her that Shaw didn’t vandalize her locker, but actually was the one who cleaned it?

Shaw drew a shaky breath and willed herself to be calm. What if Root didn’t want to be friends after all? Had Shaw taken too long?

Shaw closed her eyes. This was ridiculous. Shaw was not a slave to her emotions. She didn’t even have emotions, not real ones, not fully realized ones. Root made her so confused. She wanted to scream and punch something, but she also wanted to bury her face in Root’s hair and protect her from every awful thing life had to offer.

No, John had said that friendship didn’t mean permanent attachment. All she had to do was say ‘Hey, Root. I want to be friends, but don’t expect anything mushy and I’ll probably ignore your texts a lot, but we can hang out sometimes and have sleepovers and girl stuff, or whatever.’

“Um, Shaw?”

Shaw jumped, her eyes slamming open. Root was standing next to her desk, looking worried. How long had Shaw been out? No one could ever sneak up on her.

“What? What’s wrong?”

Root half-lifted her arm, pointing to the door. “The bell rang. It’s time for Biology.” Root worried at her bottom lip. “Are you ok?”

Shaw nodded quickly, but forced herself to slow down. “Yes. I am totally fine. Let’s go.”

She slid out of her seat, very aware of how narrow the aisles were and how close she stood to Root. She grabbed her backpack and headed out.

“Hey, is this yours?”

Shaw looked back and realized that Root was carrying The Package. She lunged for it and snatched it from her hands. “Yes, it’s mine. Ours. Well, you’ll see.” Shaw smiled, awkwardly. “I’ll show you when we get to Bio.”

Root nodded, staring at Shaw like she had three heads. Shaw just nodded and turned to walk out of the room. She yelped as she almost ran into Harold.

“How’s it going?” Harold whispered to her. “Have you given it to her yet?”

“No,” Shaw whispered back. “I’m going to do it when all four of us are together.”

“Guys?” Root asked, blocked from leaving the English class by Shaw and Harold’s bodies. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” They both said at the same time.

Harold hooked his arm through Root’s, pulling her down the hall towards their next class. He nodded his head for Shaw to follow. She ran forward and stood on Harold’s other side.

When she turned her head to look at Root, she found Harold in the way.

“Hey, wait a minute. When did you get taller, Harold?” Shaw asked, sounding offended. “We were on a team.”

“A short people team?” Root asked, amused.

Harold shrugged and, to his credit, he looked apologetic. “I can’t help it, I’m afraid. My parents had to take me to a tailor over break.”

Shaw’s grip tightened on the paper bag she was clutching. “This is so unfair. I’m going to end up 5 foot 3 forever and you two are going to tower over me like giants!”

“Hey,” John said, smiling at them as they walked into the classroom, “don’t forget me. I’m already a head taller than the three of you.”

Shaw lifted her hand to slam the paper bag on the table in frustration, but Harold stopped her.

“Ah! Ms. Shaw,” he nodded to the bag as he took his seat next to John, “perhaps this is not a bag that you can slam down.”

“Oh, right,” Shaw mumbled. She turned to push Root into her seat and put her backpack on the floor. “Alright, team. I have the surprise.”

Harold and John watched from their seats at the next table. Shaw glanced at Root, who was staring at the three of them, lost, and then stuck her hand into the bag.

“As a gesture of my friendship,” She glanced at Root again, meeting her eyes, “and as my sincerest apologies for being a total asshat when you needed comforting,” she pulled four, brightly colored Tamagotchi’s out of the bag, “I present a gift.”

She laid them out on the table. There was one for each one of them. A yellow one for Harold, a blue one for John, a red one for Root, and a purple one for Shaw. She watched as Root reached out to take hers with trembling hands.

“I know that I can’t replace Hanna, and I don’t want to,” she quickly added, “but I thought that we could try to be a team, anyway.”

She waited nervously as Root looked it over. Root’s eyes came up to look at Shaw and Shaw swallowed hard when she saw the tears threatening to spill. Root’s eyes fluttered and she brought the Tamagotchi to her chest, holding it against her heart.

“Thank you, Shaw.”

Shaw nodded, feeling warm and cold at the same time. “You can, uh, call me Sameen. That’s the other part of it.”

Root launched out of her chair and threw her arms around Shaw. Shaw stiffened. It had been a long time since she let someone hug her, so she wasn’t quite sure what to do. She just let her arms hang at her side as Root clung to her. After a moment, Root stepped back, wiping her eyes with one hand, the toy still clutched in the other.

“Thank you. This all means so much to me,” Root sniffed.

Shaw shrugged and gestured to the boys. “They helped, too. Oh!” Shaw exclaimed, making the group jump. “I forgot the best part!”

Harold sighed. “You almost scared me half to death, but yes, thank you for bringing up the final part.” He took his Tamagotchi from the table and pushed a button on the side. A quiet crackle came from the speaker in the back. “They’re- “

“Communicators!” Root exclaimed. “They’re walkie-talkies?” She looked from Harold to John to Shaw.

“Precisely.” Harold confirmed. “I executed it, but it was Ms. Shaw’s idea.”

Root looked to Shaw again and grinned. Shaw watched her eyes flutter again and thought that it matched the flutter in her stomach. “Don’t get too comfortable, Root. I’m not promising to be friends forever.”

Root nodded. “I know, Sameen, but even if it’s just for a little while, I’m happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Friendship! Only three and a half years of high school left...
> 
> In case you were wondering, this is what Root spent all of Winter Break lying on her floor and crying to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgwM1Ky228


	6. Dog Pajamas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter because the whole thing got too long.

“Ich mag deine neuen Haare. Es fällt auf deine Schultern. Und es ist alles braun.” Sameen said, in halting German. “Is that right?”

Root laughed from her place on the floor. “Is the opinion right? or the formation of your sentence?

Shaw rolled her eyes. “If you make me compliment your hair one more time, I’m leaving.”

Root chuckled, stretching her legs out. “This is your room…”

Shaw just glowered at her.

Root smiled. It had only been three days since they’d made up, but if felt like a great weight had been lifted. Sameen would have survived without making up with Root, but she was pleased that she didn’t have to.

They were hanging out at Sameen’s house. They had a German test tomorrow and Shaw was woefully unprepared. Root had offered to come over and help her study. Shaw had agreed, begrudgingly, obviously wishing she didn’t need Root’s help, but she did and so here they were.

Root watched Shaw wrap her blanket around herself. She’d claimed the bed when they came in, complaining about being cold. Root had just chuckled and plopped down onto the floor. Root noticed Sameen’s eyes looking her over and self-consciously pushed her hair behind her ear.

She’d cut it herself over break, tired of the ombre her older, blonde hair created. She’d cut it off right at the shoulder. She was pretty pleased with herself and the dark brown made her feel more mature.

Shaw grumbled and fell to her side. “I hate German.”

Root leaned back on her hands, gazing up at Sameen. “Well, you need three years of a language for most colleges. Four if you want to look like an over-achiever.”

Shaw curled her legs up, lying fetal under her blanket, only her face and hair poking out. “I’m an under-achiever. I achieve underneath.”

“I’m not sure that’s a real thing,” Root joking, rising to her feet. She moved to the bed and climbed over Sameen, dropping onto her back on the other side of the bed. “How do you achieve underneath?”

Shaw rolled onto her other side with a groan. She wiggled her eyebrows, suggestively. “Oh, one can achieve a lot from underneath.”

“Stop,” Root laughed, punching Shaw in the arm. “That’s so gross.”

Shaw just smiled, smug and dug deeper into her blankets. “How are you not cold?”

Root raised her feet up, showing off her mis-matched socks. “I kept my socks on. For warmth.”

“I’m under a fucking quilt and I’m still freezing.”

“Here,” Root said, sitting up and reaching over Sameen, “Let me turn the radiator on.”

Shaw twisted awkwardly, pressing her head on the bed to look at what Root was doing. Root fiddled with the knob on the radiator until the sound of water flowing could be heard. Root leaned back, still sitting on her knees.

“That better?” she asked, smiling down.

Root saw the moment Sameen realized how close they were. Root watched her throat moved as she swallowed. Root’s eyes dropped to Sameen’s lips. She thought, for the millionth time, that Shaw had such nice lips. Root felt herself start to lean down.

There was a knock on the door. Before Root knew what had happened, Sameen was standing across the room, leaning against her closet door, looking at her nails. She blinked as the door opened. Had Shaw teleported?

“Hello, Sameen, how- Oh,” Angela said when she saw Root on Shaw’s bed, “Sam. Hello.”

Root smiled and waved, her eyes flicking over to Shaw. “Hello, Mrs. Ingram.”

Angela peaked around the door and pushed it fully open. “Sameen, you didn’t tell me you had a guest. I just finished dinner.”

Shaw shrugged and crossed her arms. “Sorry, I meant to text you.”

Root realized this was probably her cue to leave. “I’ll go home now. Sorry for the trouble.” Root slid off the bed and reached for her shoes, but stopped when Shaw started talking.

“No, stay.” Root saw Shaw glance at Angela. “Can Root stay for dinner? And then the night? We could have a sleepover. You’re always bugging me to make friends.”

Angela hesitated. “It’s a school night. Have you done all your homework?”

“Yes!” Shaw glared at Root, daring her to challenge the statement.

Root giggled. “Yes, Mrs. Ingram. We were just studying for our German test tomorrow.”

Angela looked slightly suspicious, but nodded. “Alright, I’ll bring your plates up so you can eat while you finish studying.” She turned to go, then looked at Sameen. “No staying up late.”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “Ok, fine, whatever.”

Angela winked at Root and headed downstairs.

Root smiled at Shaw. “She’s nice. Do you like living with her and Mr. Ingram?”

Shaw shrugged and moved closer to Root again, sitting on the floor in front of the bed and leaned back, closing their textbooks. “They’re great people. I like them.”

Root lay on her stomach, letting her head stick out next to Shaw’s. “Do you know how long you’ll be staying with them?”

Shaw shook her head. “No. I could stay here until I’m 18 or be transferred in a month. It’s always up in the air.”

Root frowned. She hadn’t considered that Sameen could just up and disappear one day. She’d already moved from New York to Connecticut; nothing was stopping them from taking her further away.

“Oh,” Root said, sadly, “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Yeah,” Shaw sighed, “The reality of being an orphan.”

Angela reappeared in the doorway and put the two plates onto the short dresser, next to the TV. “Here you go. There’s also ice cream in the freezer.” She looked at Root, knowingly. “Don’t hesitate to get anything you want, ok? Even if Nathan and I are asleep, you help yourself.”

Root nodded, embarrassed. “Thank you, Mrs. Ingram.”

“Alright. Just bring whatever clothing Sameen lends you to school and she’ll bring it back here. I’ll wash them, no worries.”

Shaw looked at her, confused. “Why would she borrow my clothes?”

“Well,” Angela said, crossing her arms, “you can’t expect her to where the same thing to school two days in a row, can you?”

Shaw looked back at Root. “Oh.”

“And I’m guessing this wasn’t a planned sleepover?” Angela said, her eyebrows raised.

Shaw just crossed her arms, petulantly. “I’ll lend her something.”

“Good, just let me know if anything is too wide and I’ll see what I can do in the morning.”

“Too wide?” Shaw stood up, looking between Root and Angela. “Too wide? You think I’m wide?”

Root laughed. “I mean, compared to me, everyone is wide.”

Shaw’s eyes widened. “You take that back, Root. I am fit.”

“No one said you were fat!” Root smiled, and swung her legs around, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You’ve very fit and attractive, Sameen. I’m the beanpole.”

Shaw squinted her eyes, disbelievingly. “You guys are going to give me an eating disorder.”

Angela just sighed and turned to leave the room. “Not to make light of anorexia, but maybe if you ate less, we’d have more food for the rest of us.”

Shaw grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at the closing door. “That is so rude!”

Root couldn’t help but laughed. Shaw looked so indignant. “You, you’re like a tiny hulk!”

“Unbelievable,” Shaw breathed, getting up to grab her plate from the dresser and dropping back to the floor. “I invite you to my house and you insult me.” She stabbed her green beans with a fork. “Ridiculous. So much for friendship.”

Root stood and padded over to grab her plate. “I’ll tell you what,” She waited for Shaw to look at her, mouth full of mashed potatoes, “How about I do your workouts with you tonight?”

Shaw rolled her eyes and swallowed. “You couldn’t keep up.” She looked at her plate, almost half-empty. “I burn a lot of calories, that’s why I eat so much!”

“I know, I know,” Root assured her. “It’ll be fun! You can make fun of my lack of stamina as payback.”

“Fine,” Shaw stabbed at her food again, “but no crying allowed.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Hours later, Root and Shaw were finally getting ready for bed. Shaw handed Root a pair of her pajama pants.

“Dogs?” Root asked, smiling at Shaw. “You wear dog pajamas?”

Shaw snatched them out of Root’s hand. “You don’t have to wear them. Sleep in your underwear. Freeze for all I care.”

“No,” Root laughed, taking the pants back, “I love them, Sameen. I’m just teasing.” She pulled them on and laughed again when they were a little too short.

Shaw scowled. “Alright, no height jokes.”

“Sameen, you have your pants rolled at the bottom and they don’t even touch the floor on me.”

“Whatever.” Shaw rolled her eyes and threw an a-frame at Root. “You’re like 2 inches taller than me, don’t feel too good.”

Root slid the tank over her head and crossed to the bed. “It’s alright. I’ll leave it for now, but my doctor said I’m probably going to be at least 5’8”.”

She put her knee on the bed, but Shaw stuck a foot out and blocked her. Root swatted it away, but Shaw’s foot stayed pressed against her stomach.

“You can’t come in until you apologize for being rude,” Shaw announced. She pulled the blanket over herself until only her elevated leg stuck out.

Root stared at Shaw, her mouth open. “I was just joking! I like how small you are. Just a little, muscular…” she floundered, “…anger ball.”

Shaw dropped her foot. “That was so bad, I’m going to forgive you. You obviously have no idea what you say.”

Root laughed, but got into bed, pulling the comforter over herself. She settled into bed and switched the light off.

Root lay on her back in the dark, trying not to breath too loud. She hadn’t been this nervous since her first few sleepovers with Hanna. It had gotten easier, she and Hanna were so young, nothing ever happened, but those first few nights were scary. She was 14 now and her nerves hadn’t subsided at all. If anything, her teenage hormones made them worse.

Root held her breath, trying to hear Shaw’s breathing. The room was silent. The window creaked quietly as the wind blew. Root sighed. Shaw couldn’t possibly be asleep already; it had only been a few minutes. Although, Root thought, Sameen did seem the type to just pass out.

Root turned onto her side, facing Shaw. “Sameen?” she whispered, not wanting to wake her up if she was asleep.

After a very stressful second, Shaw turned onto her side to face Root. “Yeah?”

Root couldn’t see Shaw’s face in the dark. She realized she’d started the conversation and now had to continue it. “Um, when’s your birthday?”

“My birthday?” Shaw rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. “March.”

“Aries,” Root mused. “Spontaneous, Proud, Daring. That does seem like you.”

“I guess,” Shaw mumbled, shifting. Her leg brushed Root’s. She quickly yanked it back. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok.” Root pulled her knees to her chest, still feeling awkward. “You’re turning 16, right?”

“Mm-hmm.” Shaw rolled back to face her. “When’s yours?”

“My birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“June 2nd,” Root replied. “I’m a Gemini.”

“What does that mean?” Shaw said, her voice growing husky with sleep.

“You aren’t interested in Astrology, Sameen?” Root joked.

Shaw grumbled and flung her arm out, letting it land across Root’s side. “Just fucking tell me.”

Root drew in a shaking breath, cursing herself because she knew Shaw could feel it. “Quick-witted, thoughtful, and restless.”

She felt Shaw nodded against her pillow. “Cool.”

Root smiled and let Shaw fall asleep. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was nice. She kept her arms tucked into herself. Even if Shaw was comfortable with touching, Root didn’t want to overstep her boundaries.

Root felt Shaw’s fingers twitch against her back. She focused on Shaw’s breathing and let it lull her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, we're getting into the gray area of 'realistic teenage feelings' and 'they're just children.'
> 
> I'm going to be as true as possible to their feelings. I, too, was a teenage gay in love with their best friend.


	7. Glass Houses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the last chapter.

Root stopped her bike in front of Shaw’s house and pulled out her phone. She bit the tip of her mitten and pulled it off, quickly texting.

//I’m here! <3//

She stuck her phone back in her coat pocket and slipped her mitten back on. She rubbed her hands together, the mid-January chill was biting, even through her layers.

Shaw’s window slammed open and Shaw’s head appeared.

“Come in! I need help!” She ducked back inside and closed the window again.

Root rolled her eyes and swung her leg over the bike. She carried it onto the porch and leaned it against Shaw’s, heading inside.

As she entered her house, dropped her bag at the door, and walked up the stairs, she noticed how quiet it was. She walked into Shaw’s room.

“Are your parents out? Oh. my. god.” She stopped at the foot of the bed.

It looked like a tornado had ripped through the room. Clothes were everywhere. Root was unsurprised to see that almost everything was black or very dark blue.

She looked around, but couldn’t see Shaw.

“Hello?” she called.

“I’m in the closet!” Shaw’s voice answered.

Root giggled. “Well, feel free to come out at any time, Sweetie. We’ll still love you.”

Shaw’s head appeared in the open closet door, expressionless. “Stop.” She disappeared again. “Who the fuck throws an impromptu beach-themed party in January in Connecticut?”

Root shrugged and sat on Shaw’s bed. “Harold and John.”

“Ugh,” Shaw walked into the room, clad only in her sports bra and boyshorts. “Damn rich people.”

Root couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting over Shaw, lingering on her stomach. She’d changed her belly button piercing to a dangling anchor. Root’s eyes widened slightly. She couldn’t look away until she saw Shaw turn around.

“Just wear a bathing suit and put clothes over it for the ride,” Root suggested.

“If I can find a bathing suit,” Shaw sighed and headed back to the closet.

Once she was out of sight, Root sighed and flung herself sideways onto the bed. She was too gay for this. She knew, now, that Shaw wasn’t gay, but that didn’t stop Root from being attracted to her. She unwrapped her scarf and opened her coat.

She’d worn a crop top with the phrase ‘Resting Beach Face.’ It had been a birthday gift from John last year. She had decided not to wear a bathing suit, opting for a sports bra under her crop top. She didn’t really intend to go swimming tonight.

Despite opening her coat, she was starting to sweat. She stood up. “Sameen, I’m dressed for a snowy bike ride, not a warm bedroom.”

Shaw came out of the closed, wearing a white bikini. “How’s this?” She turned in a circle.

Root cleared her throat, cursing her pale skin as she felt her neck flush. She put her hands in her pockets. “It’s fine. Can we go now?” She was thankful she didn’t sound as shaky as she felt.

Shaw nodded, glancing at Root’s shirt, then her stomach, then back at her face with an odd look. “Yeah, let me just grab some clothes.”

Root watched her turn to her tall dresser and pull out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. They hadn’t even gotten to the party yet and Root already felt overwhelmed. At least this time, she knew she wasn’t going to see Shaw kissing someone else. Hopefully.

Root button her jacket as Shaw put the finishing touches on her make-up.

“Alright,” Shaw grabbed her coat and overnight bag and headed out of the room, “Let’s go.”

They raced out of the house and made it to Harold’s in record time. They brought their bikes into the garage and left them against the wall. They were planning on staying the night after the party, so they headed for Root’s guest bedroom to dump their bags.

After they dropped their bags off, they took a moment to remove their layers before heading to the pool area. Root giggled as Shaw looked around at the house, mouth open.

“Didn’t you have a dinner party here?” Root asked, adjusting her shorts.

“Well,” Shaw justified, “I was really focused on the dog.”

Root just laughed and pushed open the door to the pool room. It always amazed her how large and beautiful it was. The pool wasn’t quite Olympic-sized, but If you were in one corner and someone was cattycorner from you, you almost had to yell to be heard. Not that anyone could be heard right now over the blasting music.

Root looked at Shaw, who was staring at the walls. Root smiled. She always forgot that the walls in the pool room were made of glass. One of the friends’ favorite things to do was go swimming while it was raining outside. It was other worldly.

Now, it was starting to snow outside and Root watched Shaw watched the snowflakes drift around them. Root nudged Shaw’s shoulder.

“Want to go find Harry and John?” She asked.

Shaw nodded and looked around the room. “Sure. I’m going to give Harold a lecture about letting John pick party themes.”

She stomped off into the crowd of kids, leaving Root to follow her. They didn’t see the boys anywhere. Shaw stopped suddenly next to the pool, making Root slip slightly on the wet floor. She threw her arms around Shaw’s shoulders, thankful when Shaw just stiffened and let her stand.

“Did you have to grab me?” Shaw asked, annoyed.

Root smiled and stepped closer, making the awkward grab into a full body hug. She dropped her chin onto her arms around Shaw’s shoulders. “You’re the one who stopped suddenly, Sweetie.”

Shaw scowled and shrugged her shoulders, knocking Root off. “If the boys don’t appear soon, I’m jumping in the pool just to get away from you.”

“You can swim, Sameen,” Root said. “I kind of assumed you would when you put on a bathing suit.”

Shaw frowned and looked Root over. Apparently, she hadn’t noticed Root was wearing jean shorts and a crop top. “Wait, you aren’t swimming? What, are you on your period? Just stick a tampon in and move on.”

Root blushed, her mouth dropping open. She looked around trying to see if anyone had heard the comment. “What the fuck, Sameen? That’s so weird.” She gave Shaw a light push. “I just don’t feel like swimming.”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “Whatever, loser.”

“Hey, Dykes, having a love spat?” Hersch’s voice came from the pool. He was treading water at 8 ft.

Root rolled her eyes. This homophobic shit was getting old. First, that spray paint on her locker and now this. Root didn’t really care what the kids at school thought about her. Only her friends mattered. She turned to Shaw, expecting her to roll her eyes, too.

Instead, Shaw’s eyes were black. Her jaw worked as she clenched her teeth. Root instinctively took a step back. Shaw was terrifying.

“Was it you?” Shaw hissed, through bare teeth. She took a threatening step towards the pool. “Did you write ‘dyke’ on Root’s locker?”

Hersch just smiled as Lambert laughed, swimming next to him. “Why? Were you upset we didn’t do yours, too?”

Shaw’s leg moved back, and Root thought she was going to walk away. Instead, she used the leg to push off, diving into the pool. The kids standing too close to the edge got splashed. Root didn’t care about the water, terrified that Shaw was going to do something stupid.

She couldn’t see where Shaw had gone and took small comfort in the fact that Hersch and Lambert were looking around trying to see her, too.

Hersch disappeared into the water with a yell. Shaw bobbed up, somehow treading water and hold him in a headlock at the same time. She gave his hair a sharp pull.

“Apologize to Root.” Shaw said, tugging his hair again.

“I’m sorry!” Hersch screamed, struggling to no avail. “I won’t do it again!”

Shaw let him go and stared at Lambert.

Lambert caught on quickly. “Me, too! We’ll leave you alone!”

Shaw just scowled. She lunged at him, laughing when he and Hersch scrambled to the edge of the pool, climbing out and hurrying away.

Root smiled. Shaw could be gruff, but she was so protective of Root. Root watched her swim to the edge of the pool by Root’s feet and rest her arms over the edge.

“Boys are so dumb,” Shaw comment, pushing her hair out of her face.

Root sat, dipping her feet into the water. “You grumbled a lot, but I know you care about me.”

“I care,” Shaw said, deliberately, “about beating up losers.”

Root just shrugged and slowly kicked her feet into the water. “I guess it’s a good thing you wore your bathing suit after all.”

Shaw stared at her for a moment. Her eyes dropping to Root’s hand.

“Hey, Root?”

“Yeah?” Root asked, confused.

“Where’s your phone? Shaw asked, mysteriously.

“Um,” Root’s head tilted, “In my bag in the bedroom.”

The next thing she knew, Shaw had grabbed her hand and pulled her into the pool. She floundered for a moment, disoriented, before Shaw pulled her out of the water, cackling.

“Shaw!” Root’s legs kicked, but she couldn’t find the bottom. “What the hell?”

Shaw pushed her hair out of her face, legs treading confidently. “You were annoying me.”

Root sputtered, trying to push her hair out of her face and stay afloat at the same time. She finally just held her nose and dipped under water, throwing her head back as she surfaced to control her hair. She glared at Shaw.

“That was mean, Sameen.” She perked up. “Mean Sameen. I didn’t even try to do that.”

Shaw jumped forward, pushing Root under the water. They wrestled for a moment before separating.

Root shot to the surface, gasping. “Again?” She exclaimed, looking around.

“If you’re going to keep being annoying, I’m going to keep drowning you,” Shaw said, casually. She dove into the water, swimming for Root’s legs.

Root pushed herself back, kicking and trying to fend her off, to no avail. Shaw dragged her down again, managing to maneuver herself so she dragged Root to the bottom. Root flipped over, suddenly inches from Shaw’s face. She watched Shaw’s eyes widen and she pushed herself back to the surface.

Root pushed her hair back, her feet finding the ground. They had moved to the shallow end. Root looked around, they were the only ones in the pool right now. Everyone else was milling around, talking and drinking.

Shaw jumped out of the water at her side, surprising her. Root jumped and lowered herself, folding down until only her head was showing. She eyed Shaw warily, but Shaw seemed over the game and just stood, looking around the room.

Root tried not to notice how cute Shaw looked, her hair falling from her wet braid and her anchor piercing glistening.

Root sighed and swam backwards, letting herself float to the surface. She thought about how she’d only had two girl friends in her life and she had ended up liking them both. At least Hanna had liked her back. Root smiled as she remembered holding hands with Hanna at the movies, 12-years-old and terrified.

Hanna was so determined to be herself, so sure of what she wanted. Root wasn’t as sure. She could have a future with computers. She was good with computers. Amazing, actually. They just made sense, unlike people, who Root didn’t fully understand.

Root thought she understood Sameen. She was strong, physically and emotionally, but she ran away from genuine connections. She was straight, but totally fine with Root being gay. Root floated idly, slowly paddling her hands to keep herself afloat, the party music muted underwater. It was so confusing, to be attracted to her friends. Did Shaw know root had a crush on her? Did she care?

Root felt hands tug on her shorts and jerked, grabbing them from the front. She put her feet down, standing up, and glaring at Shaw. Shaw was totally under the water, only her eyes showing. Root laughed.

“Oh, no,” She wagged her finger. “No, you don’t.”

Shaw lifted up until her mouth was free. “Underwear is basically the same as a bathing suit. Don’t let the patriarchy hold you back.”

“It’s not the patriarchy that’s the problem right now, Sameen.” Root raised her eyebrows. “It’s you.”

“You’re no fun,” Shaw grumbled.

“Oh,” Root smiled suggestively, “I am a lot of fun. You’re just upset you didn’t get me naked.”

Shaw flushed. She opened her mouth to reply when phones started to ring. They both straightened and looked around.

The music stopped as a loud whine came from the radio followed by a storm warning. Kids started pulling their phones out, calling their parents.

For the first time since she got there, Root looked out the windows, the light snow flurry had picked up and the trees in Harold’s backyard were being blown around.

Harold’s voice came over the PA system and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Hello, everyone,” Harold started, “There’s a blizzard warning in effect. I’m sure you’ve just spoken to your parents, but if you haven’t, I suggest contacting them now.”

Shaw swam to the edge of the pool, hauling herself out. She waited for Root to get out and they headed towards Harold and John.

Root sighed, dejected. “I’d like to go to at least one party where nothing bad happened.”

Shaw almost looked guilty. “Well,” She said, clearing her throat, “Third time’s the charm.”

Root grinned. They got to the front of the room where Harold and John were standing. John smirked at them in amusement.

“You two looked like you were having fun,” he said, wryly. “But Root isn’t wearing a bathing suit.”

“I’m aware,” Shaw said, her face neutral. “We’re not going to lose power, are we?” She held up her hand. “Let me rephrase: We’re not going to lose heat, are we?”

“No,” Harold said, looking at his phone. “The only reason we’re worried is because it was only supposed to be a couple of inches and now they’re saying it could be almost a foot.”

Root shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. It was warm in Harold’s house, but the pool water still chilled her.

“We’re going to shower and change,” Shaw stated, grabbing Root’s arm and leading her away. They maneuvered their way through the house, avoiding people as they put their coats on and headed out into the growing storm.

They passed Joss and Grace and Shaw finally let go of Root’s arm, going to them.

“Joss,” Shaw said, catching them before they left, “let me know when you guys get home.”

Joss nodded, smiling between Root and Shaw. “What about you two? Where are you going?”

“We’re staying here,” Root offered. “That was the plan anyway.”

“Great!” Joss said. “I’m glad you two are together again.” She turned and left with Grace.

Shaw rolled her eyes and continued to the bedroom. Root followed behind, smiling at Shaw’s back. It seemed that Shaw was protective of everyone.

Shaw entered the room and moved her bag onto the bed, unzipping it. Root did the same and pulled out her pajamas.

“Hey!” Shaw said, accusingly. “Those are my dog pants!”

Root looked at the pants in her hands. She’d “accidentally” taken them home after their sleepover a week ago. She’d slept in them every night since them.

“I love them,” she said simply.

“Well, you can’t have them,” Shaw grumbled, trying to grab them back.

Root quickly raised them out of Shaw’s reach. Shaw glared at her, crossing her arms.

“Fine. I will let you wear them tonight, but only because you’d have nothing to wear if I didn’t.”

Root smiled, condescendingly. “Alright, Sweetie.”

Shaw mumbled under her breath, but gathered her toiletry bag and clothing in her arms. She headed out of the room, calling over her shoulder. “You coming?”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Later that night, after they showered and hung out in Harold’s room, watching movies, Root lay in bed.

Root stared up at the ceiling thinking about the evening. She hadn’t expected Shaw to offer to shower with her. It wasn’t a big deal. Shaw was on the soccer team and Root was sure she’d showered with the other girls all the time, when they stayed in hotels for away games. Root was unused to sharing a shower, though.

Root had spent the whole time focusing on Shaw’s face. Shaw seemed calm, like usual. Root wondered how Shaw kept her emotions so controlled. Root felt like she was an open book, always exposed, but Shaw only showed what she wanted.

The window above her bed slammed against the frame, making Root scream. She sat up, catching her breath. This storm was ridiculous. She couldn’t remember a winter this bad.

The door to her room opened and Shaw walked in, blearily rubbing her eyes. For the second time today, she was only in her underwear.

“Root?” Shaw asked into the dark, her voice thick. “Did you scream?”

“Sorry,” Root said, guilty. “My window banged and it scared me.”

Shaw nodded and walked further into the room. Root saw Bear poke his head in. Shaw stopped next to the bed.

“I was going to go to the pool and watch the storm. Want to come?”

Root smiled, swinging her legs out. “Sure.”

They padded across the house, the only noises the echoing of their feet against tile, the storm outside, and the jingling of Bear’s collar. Root led them into the pool room, her mouth dropping open at the sight outside.

“Whoa,” Shaw said, breathless. “That’s a lot of snow.”

The glass walls were wet on the inside, the temperature difference causing condensation. Outside, there was about a foot of snow on the ground and the storm showed no sign of letting up. Root mused that they might be trapped inside for a few days.

“I should call Angela in the morning,” Shaw said to herself. “See if they made it home last night and tell them I’m alive.”

Root nodded, knowing that her own parents probably weren’t even aware that it was snowing in Connecticut.

Shaw sighed and headed for a lounge chair, sitting with her legs crossed. She raised her arms when Bear climbed into her lap.

Smiling, Root sat next to her. “I’ve always loved snow,” she commented, “It’s comforting. The world always seems brand new after a fresh snow. Like everything is good.”

“Do you believe in that? That everyone is good?” Shaw asked, her face turned up to look at the storm. 

“I don’t know,” Root replied. She picked at her nails. “I’d like to think so, but there’s so much chaos and evil that I just don’t know.”

Shaw looked at her, her expression unreadable. “Do you still think about Hanna?”

“Every day.” Root stretched her legs in front of her. “Every single day.”

Shaw didn’t answer. Eventually, Root thought that Shaw was going to pretend she never asked the question. It was probably too emotional.

“I think about my parents.”

Root looked at Shaw, surprised, but Shaw’s face was turned up again.

“I think about them, not every day, but most days. On a bike ride, or in a car, or eating lunch. I was young when they died, but I remember them.” She smiled at the ceiling. “They were happy and kind. They loved me even though I…” She trailed off.

“Even though you what?”

Shaw just shrugged and sniffed, looking away from Root. “They were good people.”

Understanding, Root nodded. “My parents are not good people.”

Shaw looked at her again, this time, she looked surprised. “Really?”

“They’re out of town a lot. They don’t ever call me, or even give me money.” She smiled sadly at Shaw. “They just leave.”

Shaw drew her knees up, hugging Bear to her. “How do you live?”

“I’m good with computers, Sameen. You know this.” Root gave a dry laugh. “My parents are very wealthy, but they use it all for traveling. I don’t know what their jobs are, but I do know how to hack their bank accounts.”

Shaw laughed, startling Root. “That’s great. I think that’s fair. They ditch you and you take their money. It’s a good system.”

Root smiled, giggling. “I’m glad you enjoy my life of crime.”

“How much money do they have exactly? Can we book a flight to Disney World and charge everything to them?”

Root grinned, her eyes twinkling. “You know, we probably could!”

“Let’s do it!” Shaw pumped her fist in the air. “We could roadtrip and stay in seedy motels. I’ll have my license in March and then we’re free.”

Root laughed at Shaw’s enthusiasm. It seemed that Shaw could get excited about some things. “How about we start small? We could go camping over Spring Break. I hear West Virginia is beautiful in spring.”

“I guess,” Shaw pouted. “We can ‘start small.’” She used air quotes. “How about we invite the boys? Maybe bring Carter and Hendricks.”

Root nodded. “It’s a plan.”

Shaw yawned suddenly, causing Root to yawn, too. She stood up and stretched.

“Alright, bed time.”

They trudged back to the bed rooms. They stopped outside of Root’s door. Root waved good night to Shaw and started to go inside, but Shaw stopped her.

“Hey,” Shaw said, sounding awkward. “Do you want to share a room? In case the window bangs again?”

Root looked at Shaw. She seemed…nervous wasn’t the word that Root would use. Shaw didn’t seem to ever feel nervous, but she did seem out of place.

“Yeah, of course,” Root replied, leading them into the room. “Thanks.”

They crawled under the covers and got settled. Root turned onto her side back to the wall, surprised when Shaw was looking at her. Shaw’s eyes closed.

Root smiled. Their second sleepover in two weeks. Shaw could insist she was keeping a distance all she wanted, but Root knew better. Shaw was tied around her finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The biggest challenge about this fic is characterization. Who are they without what's happened to them? Who is Shaw without Med School/Marines/ISA and who is Root without Hanna/Bad Code/The Machine?


	8. Cold as Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know you've caught the bug when a 3000 word chapter is "a little short."

Shaw woke the next morning disoriented. She had something holding her and, for a brief second, thought she was back in the car accident. When she opened her eyes, however, she saw that it was just Root and Bear.

In the night, Shaw had rolled onto her back and Root had thrown an arm over her, tucking her head under Shaw’s chin. Bear lay across Shaw’s legs, pining her down. Tentatively, Shaw brought a hand up, running her fingers over Root’s hair.

She wasn’t one for emotional displays, but she could manage something small like this and Root wasn’t even awake, so no one had to know. The last couple of weeks had been difficult. Shaw couldn’t deny her attraction to Root, but she’d made the decision to leave it at friendship.

Root had been in love with Hanna and had gotten hurt. There was no way she was over what had happened, and Shaw didn’t want to be another source of pain. If they didn’t get romantically involved, Shaw would never have to break Root’s heart, whether it was because she couldn’t love her back or because she got moved to a different house.

Shaw relaxed into the bed, her fingers idly playing with Root’s hair.

It had been a long time since she’d slept through the night. She often woke up sweating, unable to remember her dreams, but missing her parents ferociously. When she did remember her dreams, they were often nonsensical. She was usually trapped in the car after the accident, but it was always someone else leaning down to see if she was ok.

When Root had slept over before the German test, Shaw hadn’t woken up at all. She’d slept well and woken up rested. Honestly, that was one of the reasons she’d asked to sleep in Root’s room last night. That and the fact that new places made her restless. She always had trouble falling asleep in a new place.

The door opened and John looked in. When he saw that Shaw was awake, he walked in, stopping just inside the door. Shaw was tempted to pull away from Root and pretend that they weren’t caught cuddling, but she couldn’t find the energy. She was too comfortable and content.

Shaw met John’s eyes, daring him to say anything, but he just smiled.

“Breakfast is ready,” he whispered. He waited until Shaw nodded and walked out of the room.

Shaw shifted her legs, prompting Bear to jump off. She tried to extract herself as carefully as possible, but every time she pulled away, Root’s arms tightened around her. Shaw laughed at Root’s clinginess.

Root mumbled unintelligibly, squeezed one more time and wiped her eyes. “I’m cold,” she rasped.

“Well, you did push all the blankets off the bed,” Shaw joked.

“You’re like a toaster,” Root complained, finally opening her eyes. When she realized that she was on top of Shaw, she stiffened.

Shaw just sat up, letting Root pull away. She swung her feet onto the floor, shooing Bear away when he tried to lick her feet. She stood and stretched, groaning loudly. Behind her, Root sat up, rubbing her face.

“What time is it?” Root asked.

“I don’t know,” Shaw shrugged, touching her toes. “John just came and said breakfast was ready.

“I hope it’s warm.”

Shaw nodded and lead them out of the bedroom. She should probably out some clothing on, but she didn’t care. If Root could deal with it, the boys could deal with it.

They walked into the kitchen to see that Harold and John had made pancakes and bacon. Shaw raised her eyebrows.

“Wow,” she said, impressed. “I was expecting poptarts or something dumb.”

Harold turned from the stove to glance at her. “I am not without my talents, Ms. Shaw.”

Shaw winced. “That sounds…dirty.”

They laughed. Root slid onto a tall chair around the island, pulling a plate off the stack. “Just come eat, Sameen. I know you’re hungry.”

“Ugh, I’m starving,” she whined, sitting next to Root.

Harold and John joined them and they started digging in. Shaw took a large bite of pancakes, ignoring Root’s shocked expression. She turned to glare at her as she chewed.

“What?” Shaw asked around a large mouthful. She swallowed. “You’ve got to be used to this by now.”

Root just rolled her eyes and focused on the boys. “How’s the snow? Is it storming?” Root asked.

Harold set his utensils down. “We ended up getting about 2 feet. The worst storm in a while. I’d say we’re probably trapped in here for a while. It’s not going to be safe to move around.”

“So…” Shaw looked at the three of them. “Let’s go sledding!”

The 3 friends stared at her. Harold cleared his throat.

“Ms. Shaw, while that does sound like fun, we are surrounded by a lot of snow, it would take hours to even get to the street, much less somewhere we can sled.”

“Well then, we’d better get started!” Shaw shoveled the rest of her food into her mouth and launched herself away from the table. She grinned at Root. “Race you!”

She took off running towards the bedroom, when Root didn’t follow immediately, she stopped and turned to glare at her.

Despite herself, Root smiled and started to get up. She started after Shaw, glancing over her shoulder at John. “Careful, John. Sameen’s going to hold it over your head forever if she shovels more snow than you.”

“Oh, there is no way he could ever shovel more than me,” Shaw bragged, crossing her arms. “I am the superior athlete, after all.”

John looked at Harold. Harold rolled his eyes and nodded. “Oh, go on. I’ll clean up.”

John grinned and hopped off his chair, moving towards Shaw. “Are you even tall enough to see over the snow? It’s almost 2 feet, you know.”

“Oh ho,” Shaw laughed, stepping towards him. She bumped his chest with hers. “Tough talk for someone who doesn’t even have a six-pack.”

They glared at each other. Suddenly, they both bolted towards the bedrooms, Root and Harold’s laughter floating behind them.

Shaw ran into her guest room, ripping her bag open and pulling out her clothing. When she’d packed everything, she thought she’d brought too much, now she was glad for her over-preparation.

She put on thermal underwear and pulled her sweatpants over them. She quickly pulled on a shirt and a sweatshirt, running out of the room, awkwardly hopping as she pulled on her boots.

“Oh, no! My mittens!” She cried, turning around. Something soft hit her in the face and she caught it. “Mittens!”

She looked at Root, rushing down the hall towards her. “Go, Shaw!”

Shaw ran to the garage, stuffing her hands into her mittens. From behind, she heard John’s indignant cry.

“Whose team are you on, Root? I’ve known you longer!” He burst into the garage behind Shaw grabbing for a shovel.

“Yeah, but Shaw is cuter.” Root replied, stepping back out of their way as the athletes ran back through the house to the front doors.

When they got to the exit, they paused. Harold’s front door was frosted glass and through the double panes, they could see just how high the snow had piled.

“Huh,” Shaw said, thoughtfully, “I might actually be too short.”

John snorted and shook his head. “We might have to team up.”

Shaw nodded, suddenly determined. “Count to three and yank the doors open?”

“Please don’t,” Harold’s voice said. They turned as he walked out from the kitchen. “It’s all just going to come inside. I’d suggest finding another way out.”

The four friends thought for a moment. Any door on this floor they opened would lead to a cascade of snow entering the house. Shaw grunted, annoyed, and threw her head back glaring at the ceiling.

“The roof!” She exclaimed, running for the staircase leading to the second level. “Jump from the roof!”

John whooped and followed her. She could hear Harold and Root further behind and grinned. If she knew friendship would be pool parties and snow fights, she’d have made a friend years ago.

She got to the second-floor landing and waited for John. “Best point of exit?”

“I’d say the window in the master bath. It opens to the front yard.” He led the way, holding the shovel in front of him like a gun.

Shaw was glad to see that he was as invested in their project as she was. They entered the bathroom and Shaw whistled. All the counter tops were marble and the bathtub was the size of a jacuzzi.

“I know,” John agreed. “This house is amazing.”

Shaw nodded and slid her shovel into the bathtub, moving to the window. “Alright,” she said, unlocking the window and sliding it up. “There’s a good amount of snow just on this ledge. We should knock it off. I don’t think we can climb out if it’s still here.”

“Good idea,” John agreed, starting to push it with his shovel.

Shaw grabbed hers and started helping. She heard Root and Harold chatting as they finally entered the bathroom.

“It was 4th grade! I’m telling you,” Root was saying.

Harold shook his head. “I think it was 5th grade.”

“What are you nerds talking about?” Shaw asked, viciously stabbing the snow.

Root laughed. “There was one year, when we were in elementary school that our teacher took the class on a fieldtrip to an ice skating rink- “

“Ooh!” Shaw’s eyes lit up, her shovel flinging snow into the room, “Let’s go ice skating!”

“Not today, Sameen,” Root scolded. “Anyway, John kept trying to do jumps and ended up cracking the ice and falling through.”

Shaw laughed, punching John in the arm. “Dumbo.”

John rolled his eyes. “What kind of ice is too fragile for jumping?” He wiped his forehead and stuck his head through the window. “Almost there!”

Shaw pushed her shovel through the window, letting it land on the ground below with a soft thump. “I’m going to climb through.” She gave John a smug look. “Being small has its perks.”

Harold spoke up as John cupped his hands for Shaw to use as a step. “This is a bad idea. You could fall.”

Shaw rolled her eyes, sticking one foot in John’s hands and the other onto the windowsill. “Don’t be a baby, Baby.” She started climbing out the window onto the snow-covered awning. “I’m not going to – AH!”

She lost her footing on the snow bank, their furious shoveling having weakened the top few inches, and slid down the front of the awning. For a brief second, she felt weightless, then, with a muffled thud, she hit the ground.

“Shaw!” John’s voice floated down from the window. “We’re coming!”

Shaw groaned, trying to pick herself up, but a searing pain in her arm and stomach stopped her. She might have broken her arm, but she didn’t know why her stomach was hurting.

“Sameen!” Root’s panicked voice called. “We’re here!”

From the corner of her eye, Shaw saw Root trampling through the snow, only in her dog pajamas and T-shirt. Root collapsed into the snow, next to her.

“No,” Shaw growled, “put shoes on. You’re going to freeze.”

Root laughed, tears in her eyes. “You’re so stupid. You’re really hurt.” Root turned toward the house, where John was crunching towards them. Harold hovered in the doorway, phone in hand. “Call 911, Harold! She’s losing a lot of blood.”

“What?” Shaw asked, confused. “What blood?”

“I swear to fucking god, Sameen,” Root stated, hands hovering like she was scared to touch her, “If you die, I’m not going to make it.”

Shaw tried to reassure her, but her eyes were so heavy. The world went white.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Shaw opened her eyes, groaning against the sudden light. She felt like she’d been hit by a truck. She raised her arm, but realized she had a cast. The memory of falling from Harold’s window flooded back to her. She groaned again, cursing her competitiveness.

She tried to sit up, but gaped as her vision went white with pain. She pushed her blankets down. Her stomach was wrapped with gauze. Shaw couldn’t think of what happened.

A nurse pushed the door open and smiled at her. “Hello, sleepyhead. How do you feel?”

“Like I tried to kiss a semi,” she answered, giving a small smile. “What’s wrong with my stomach?”

“When you fell from the window,” The nurse said, moving to her bedside, “You landed on a shovel. The blade pierced your skin.”

“Whoa,” Shaw breathed, “Did I need stitches?”

The nurse looked at her, appraisingly. “Yes. You did. About 20.”

Shaw grinned. “Can I see them?”

“Not right now, but next time we clean them, you’ll see.”

Shaw nodded, satisfied. “Great.”

“Are you interested in medicine?” The nurse asked, checking the screens Shaw was attached to.

She shrugged. “I’m mostly interested in injuries and what people can survive.”

“The human body is amazing,” The nurse smiled. “You’re healing much faster than expected. Normally, your arm would take six weeks or so to heal, but at the rate it’s going, it might be closer to three.”

“I’ve always healed quickly. I survived a car accident when I was ten and hardly had any scratches.”

“That’s impressive! You know,” the nurse said thoughtfully, “we have internships for high school students. It’s a small hospital, so you’d have work to do. If you make good grades and have some free time, you should apply.”

“I will!” Shaw said, thrilled. “What’s your name?”

“I’m nurse McCarthy. Elaine McCarthy.” She held her hand out for Shaw to take. Nodding over Shaw’s shoulder, she smiled, slightly. “Your friend hasn’t left your side since they brought you in a few days ago.”

Shaw looked to her other side and saw Root, curled up in a chair with a blanket thrown over her. Shaw stared at her. Root had been here this whole time. Shaw remembered her words. “If you die, I won’t make it.” The sight of Shaw covered in blood must have been too real for Root, too soon.

The nurse slipped out of the room and Shaw sighed. Now that she had friends who cared about her, she had to be more careful. Angela and Nathan were probably worried sick. They had gone out of town for a party and Shaw didn’t even know if they’d made it back to the house.

Shaw closed her eyes and laid down again. She didn’t know how to feel about this accident, how to act. She wasn’t worried about her life and she hadn’t worried in years, but there were other people who did. People who could love her, support her, help her, and she just didn’t know what to do.

She didn’t think she could ever love them back. She had never loved anything. She thinks she might have loved her parents, but five years later, she couldn’t reach the feeling. Maybe she could pretend.

Maybe she could pretend for Root. Shaw was self-aware enough to know she cared about Root, at least as much as she was able. She’d known Root for six months, but a life without her would feel empty for a little while. She could pretend to love Root back. Maybe they could date. That would make Root so happy.

Shaw looked at Root again and smiled when Root’s nose twitched as she dreamed. Root deserved better than that. She deserved everything in the world and she deserved real love. Real, honest-to-god, requited love. Shaw couldn’t give her that.

Shaw’s cheek itched and she reached her hand up, freezing when her fingers came away wet. Was she crying? She could only remember one time when she had cried. Three months after her parents died.

She’d been ten years old and living in a group home in New York City. She had no friends, no support, no future. As she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling she had thought about her parents and her cat. What had happened to that cat when they never came home?

Shaw check her face, but only the one tear had escaped. Beside her, Root stirred. Shaw quickly swallowed and calmed herself.

“Sameen?” Root asked, standing and letting the blanket slide to the floor. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” Shaw confirmed, glad that her voice face nothing away.

Root grinned and closed the gap between them, resting her hands on Shaw’s side. “I’m so glad. I was terrified.”

“I would never do that to you, Root.”

“What,” Root tried to joke, anxiety apparent in her eyes, “Die? You would never die if we’re friends?” Root laughed. “Guess you’re stuck with me, then!”

Shaw shrugged and closed her eyes. “Could be worse. It could be- “

The door burst open and Harold and John entered, carrying large flowers.

“Great,” Shaw mumbled, “It’s worse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I've been drifting a little, but I have found a purpose. You have no idea what's coming.


	9. Valentine's Day Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, because the next one is going to be pretty long. I don't know if it'll be up tomorrow or the day after. I write at work and tomorrow is a two-show day, so I'll have a lot of time to write.

Two weeks later, Shaw and Root stood next to each other awkwardly, trying to pretend that nothing was awkward. They were at the school’s Valentine’s Day Dance, doing their best to blend into the walls.

Harold and John had both managed to find dates. John had asked Joss and since they were already dating, she’d agreed. Grace had asked Harold as a favor to Joss, but from what Root could see, they were having a great time. She glanced at Shaw, holding back laughter at the murderous look in her eyes.

Shaw had started her new, medical internship a week ago, but she was only able to do paper work and research because of her healing wounds. Everyone was amazed at how fast her stomach was healing. Despite Shaw’s assurances that her arm was totally, definitely, positively, fully healed, it’d still be a couple weeks until she could get her cast off.

Despite the cumbersome cast, Shaw looked amazing tonight. Her tight, black dress complimented her skin tone and her hair looked marvelous. Root sighed and looked down at herself. She’d worn a suit to the dance, partly because Shaw had teased her about being her date. Root wondered if the kids around them thought that they were there together.

Shaw took a drink of punch and nudged Root. “Look at John dance. He doesn’t know where to put his hands.”

Root laughed. “Carter probably warned him to be polite in public. Her father’s here.”

“Oh?” Shaw asked, looking around. “Where?”

Root pointed at the police officer in the corner. “There. He’s the deputy. John has been terrified of him ever since he threatened to cut John’s eyes out if he looked at his daughter.”

Shaw laughed loudly. “Oh man, John is such a scaredy cat. He needs to toughen up.”

“Oh yeah, like you’re brave,” Root snorted.

Shaw slowly turned her head, looking shocked. “Excuse me?”

Root shrugged. “I’m just saying, if you were brave, you’d be dancing with me instead of standing here like a lame-o.”

Shaw’s jaw dropped. She probably wasn’t used to Root being so forward, but after Shaw’s brush with death, Root had found some courage. She crossed her arms and stood her ground.

“Um,” Shaw stuttered. “Ok.”

“What?” Root’s arms dropped. “Ok what?”

Shaw rolled her eyes and threw her head back, finishing her drink. She tossed it onto the floor and grabbed Root’s hand, pulling her onto the dance floor. Root almost tripped, but she kept up with Shaw, unable to believe this was happening.

When they got to the dance floor, the music changed from the terrible pop music it had been playing to a soft, slow song that Root had never heard before. She and Shaw stared at each other.

“Um,” Root started, “I’m not really a dancer.”

“Well, you’re the boy, apparently, so you should lead,” Shaw suggested. She grinned wolfishly. “I mean, unless you’re more of a bottom. That’s fine. I can lead.”

Root stiffened. “Don’t tell me what to do. I can lead!”

She stepped forward and grabbed Shaw’s hands, wrapping them around her neck. She gingerly placed her hands on Shaw’s waist.

“Oh, is this ok? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Shaw just stepped closer, adjusting her arms around Root’s neck. Root swallowed, holding her tighter. They swayed with the music, Root staring straight ahead as Shaw looked to the side.

The song seemed to last forever. Root had never been so happy as she was right now and Shaw didn’t even know. Shaw lowered her head against Root’s shoulder and Root’s heart almost stopped. Shaw smelled like cloves and roses and blankets. Root let her eyes close and dropped her head on top of Shaw’s.

When the song ended, they pulled apart. Shaw took Root’s hand.

“Want to go lie in the field and look at the stars?” She asked, already pulling Root through the crowd.

Root nodded, despite knowing how cold it was outside, and followed her to the coat check and then out of the gym and onto the field. She wasn’t sure what Shaw wanted, but she knew that she would be there to find out.

“So,” Shaw said, settling onto the snow, “you like Astrology, right?”

Root sat next to her, slipping out of her dress shoes, revealing her colorful wool socks. “Yeah, why? Interested?”

“No.” Shaw denied, lying back and staring at the sky. “I like Astronomy, though. I can name all the constellations.”

“Really?” Root asked surprised. “I thought Science wasn’t your thing.”

“I like science; it’s math that I’m morally opposed to.”

“Oh, right,” Root laughed. “How did you do on your midterm? I didn’t help you study at all when we weren’t friends.”

Shaw looked insulted. “Just because I hate something, doesn’t make me bad at it, Root. Have a little faith.”

Root just shrugged and laid back, her shoulder and head touching Shaw’s. She sniffed, her nose starting to get cold. “So, what about Astronomy?”

“Right,” Shaw sighed. “I was thinking about my parents the other day, you remember how I told you I think about them sometimes?”

Root nodded.

“Right, so I was thinking about them, about the car accident and I don’t remember a lot about it, but I remember how clear the sky was. I could see all these stars when I stuck my head out of the car. I was naming constellations and my dad, who was driving, was correcting me.

“We didn’t get hit by another car,” Shaw admitted. “My father was looking at the sky and he drove into the rail on the side of the road. We flipped, a few times I think, and then it was over. It took a few minutes for emergency services to come, but while I was waiting…”

She trailed off. Root turned her head to look at her, her red nose brushing Shaw’s hair. “Yeah?” She whispered reverently.

Shaw drew a deep breath, her face impassive. “It was so quiet. I just stared at the sky and breathed and listened to the crickets until the ambulance came.”

She turned to look at Root, their noses inches apart. Root didn’t see any tears in her eyes. Shaw actually looked incredibly calm. An outsider would have no idea they were talking about the death of her parents.

“I don’t…have feelings,” Shaw admitted, quietly. “Not like you do, not like other people do. I think,” she looked away, at the sky, “I think I have a problem. Some sort of brain problem. Maybe if I study enough medicine, if I go to med school, I could understand what was wrong with me.”

Root turned onto her side, drawing her knees up, tucking them under her coat. She reached out and took Shaw’s hand, sad at the mittens prevent their skin from touching. “I don’t think anything is wrong with you.”

“I don’t have feelings, Root.” Shaw snapped, turning to look at her, scowling. “I’m fucking broken.”

“I’m not saying you aren’t different, Sameen. I’m just saying that nothing is wrong with you.”

Shaw’s face changed, smoothing out until she looked serene. Root met her eyes, trying to silently support her. They stared at each other in silence.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“Sameen? Sameen?”

A voice called to her, pulling her out of her sleep. Sameen woke, disoriented as always. She sat up, shivering. She and Root must have fallen asleep in the snow. She turned to look at, Root who was shaking in her sleep.

Shaw shook Root awake, helping her sit up. She looked for the voice calling her, seeing Angela and Nathan across the field. Raising her hand, she waved to them.

“Sameen?” Root asked through chattering teeth.

“Don’t push yourself, Root,” Shaw responded, pulling Root to her feet as she stood. “The Ingrams are here, they’ll take you home.”

Root just nodded as Angela reached them. Angela threw her arms around them both.

“I was so worried about you! You can’t just go to sleep in a field in February!” She scolded.

“We didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Shaw shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Nathan said, kindly. “Let’s just get you both home.”

They all headed for Nathan’s car. When they slid in, Shaw turned to Root.

“What’s your address?” She asked.

“Don’t worry,” Angela said, smiling from the front seat. “We know where she lives.”

Shaw shrugged and focused on getting warm, looking out the window. Periodically, she’d glance at Root and make sure she was doing ok, but for the most part, she just stared up at the stars, trying not to drift to the past.

After they’d been driving for a bit, Shaw realized she was in a part of town she’d never been to before. Looking at the buildings they were driving past, she noticed how dilapidated everything they passed was.

She turned to Root, to ask about it, but Root looked tense. She was staring straight forward, eyes fixed on the back of Nathan’s seat, leg bouncing anxiously. Shaw didn’t know why Root seemed so stressed. Was it because Root lived in one of these houses?

Shaw didn’t care about living conditions. She’d lived in her fair share of homes and some of them had not been taken care of. She reached a hand out to lay on Root’s knee. Root flashed a smile at her, but the tension didn’t leave her body. The closer they got to her house, the more she seemed to vibrate with unease.

Nathan pulled over in front of a house. Shaw looked out the window at it and didn’t understand where Root’s tension was coming from. Sure, it was a little rundown, but it was a nice house. It was a damn sight better than the houses they had passed.

When Root tried to bolt out of the car, Shaw grabbed her arm. She leaned forward to Angela and Nathan.

“Hey, can Root spend the night at our place?” Shaw asked. “She got really cold from the snow and I want to keep an eye on her.”

Angela and Nathan shared a look and nodded.

“Alright,” Nathan agreed. He twisted in his seat to smiled at Root. “Go pack a bag and we’ll wait.”

Root nodded and Shaw let her go, watching her run into her house. Shaw wanted to follow, but if Root was this nervous about the outside of her house, Shaw didn’t want to make her more nervous. When she’d gone inside, Shaw turned to her foster parents.

“Where are Root’s parents? All Root has told me is that they’re really rich and always absent.”

Again, Nathan and Angela exchanged a glance. Finally, Angela sighed.

“Her parents were…odd people, Sameen. Never really fitting in in the town. They used to travel with Sam, but when Sam was 5 or 6, they started leaving her behind. Usually, it was only a few weeks at a time, then they’d come back, but after Hanna died, they just left.”

“Because of Root?” Shaw asked, wondering how anyone could hate Root, much less her parents.

“I don’t know, honey.” Nathan admitted. “We didn’t know them. They…kept to themselves.”

Root ran out of the house with her backpack and got back in the car. Shaw had expected her to seem calmer now that she wasn’t staying at home, alone, but the tension didn’t leave her body until they were halfway to Shaw’s.

Root took a deep breath and blinked, smiling at Shaw. “Thanks for letting me stay with you.”

“It’s alright,” Shaw shrugged. “I’m sure it’s creepy staying in your house alone.”

Root just nodded and looked out the window.

They arrived at Shaw’s house a few minutes later and Root and Shaw went straight to the bedroom. Shaw watched Root drop her bag and sighed.

“Do you want to do anything? I’m actually really tired.”

Root smiled at her, teasing. “Did that one dance wear you out?”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “No. I’ve just been really busy with my internship and school and stuff.”

“I know, Sameen,” Root laughed. “I’m just teasing. Yeah, we can go to bed.”

Shaw nodded, yawning. She stripped down to her underwear, moving to the dresser and pulling out a T-shirt. She pulled it on, reaching her arms behind her back to slip off her strapless bra. She sighed with relief and turned back to Root, who was wearing her dog pajamas and a tank top.

Shaw walked to her, plucking at the pants. “You may as well keep these now. It’s been like a month.”

Root grinned. “I honestly never intended to give them back.”

“Whatever, nerd,” Shaw said, dismissively. She was sad to give up one of her few possessions, but glad that she could make Root happy. “Just get in bed. You get wall side this time.”

“Ok, Sameen.” Root slid into bed. “Anything for you.”

When they were comfortable and the lights were off, Shaw looked at Root. “Hey, Root?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know where your parents are?”

Root didn’t reply and Shaw felt the silence in the room like a weight. Root sighed. “I thought you were tired.”

“I am,” Shaw grunted, rolling onto to her side and turning her back to Root. “I was just wondering.”

“I’m sorry,” Root apologized, placing a light hand on Shaw’s back. “It’s just a touchy subject for me.”

Shaw turned back to her. “I know, I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer.”

“It’s ok.” Root sat up, picking at her fingers. “Um, I think they might be in Europe. They haven’t used their money in a while and their bank accounts are the only thing I’ve accessed. The last time they used their card was in Norway. That was a few months after Hanna died and they disappeared.”

“Wow,” Shaw propped herself up on her elbow. “You haven’t spoken to them in almost two years?”

Root shrugged. “You get used to it, I guess. I’m pretty capable for taking care of myself. I’m a good cook, you know.” She smirked down at Shaw.

Laughing, Shaw pulled Root down to the bed. “Ok, Iron Chef. Stay under the covers and get warm.”

Root pulled the blanket up to her chin and snuggled up to Shaw. “Yes, ma’am.”

Shaw stiffened, but let Root cuddle up to her. She thought of their last sleepover and knew they’d just end up on top of each other anyway. Shaw wrapped her arms around Root, pulling her close.

“Maybe you can make me pancakes one weekend,” Shaw offered.

“Yeah,” Root mumbled, falling asleep. “With chocolate chips.”

Shaw smiled. She felt warm, outside and in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I have a firm grasp on where this story is going, I'm putting in a lot of foreshadowing. You don't know it yet, but everything is going to change.


	10. The Big Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I figured I should use the time to do some major planning since things start ramping up after this.
> 
> I am so sorry.

Shaw pulled up to Harold's house in Angela's pickup truck, Root in the front seat. She rolled down her window, honking loudly.

"Get in, Boys! I can hear the ice calling my name!" she yelled at John and Harold as they ran towards her car.

They pulled open the back doors, hopping into the back seat. Harold looked around the car.

"This is a nice car!" he complimented. "Four doors, heated seats, and a covered bed. Did the Ingrams buy you this?"

Shaw rolled her eyes. "They're not going to buy me a car if they don't know I'm staying with them, Harold. This is Angela's."

The past month and a half had been amazing. She, Root, and the boys had hung out every weekend and she and Root had been spending time together on the school's field at night, jogging and studying. Shaw had to admit that her decision to stay friends with the group was a good one.

She and Root had only grown closer and Shaw was having a hard time justifying to herself why they shouldn't be together. Root had stayed at her house most nights, when she didn't have her internship after school. Shaw had been unwilling to let her stay in that house alone, not after she'd seen how anxious it made Root.

Thankfully, Angela and Nathan had agreed to let Root basically live with them. The only downside was that Shaw and Root shared a bed now. Although, sleeping through the night was nice, Shaw had a hard time keeping her hands to herself while she was sleep. Root never complained, though, even if Shaw was sure it was driving her crazy, too.

Now, it was the weekend after Shaw's 16th birthday and she had her gotten her driver's license. The group was going to the ice skating rink to celebrate and to plan their spring break camping trip. Shaw looked over at Root in the front seat, grinning.

"So," she started, "Who's the better skater? You, Harold, or Reese."

"Oh, me, for sure." Root stated, confident. "The other two are awful."

"Might I remind you, Root," Harold said, giving her a knowing look, "that I have a significant disadvantage in this competition."

Root shrugged. "Sorry, Harold. Just being honest. You're a bad ice skater."

"What about me?" John asked, crossing his arms. "I'm an athlete. You're a nerd."

Shaw laughed. "If you skate like you play soccer, I can't imagine that you're any good."

"I am insulted." John shook his head, looking at Harold. "Help me out!"

"I'm sorry, John, but you are something of a clunky skater. All function and no form."

"Unbelievable. Just…ridiculous." John rested his elbow on the window, pouting.

Shaw nudged Root's knee. "Hey, direct me."

"Oh, sorry," Root pointed to the right. "The next turn and it's in that strip mall on your left."

"Great," Shaw said, turning the wheel. She stretched up to see better.

Root laughed, reaching across Shaw's lap to pull a lever.

"What- Root!" Shaw exclaimed, nervously trying to keep focus on the road. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just raising the seat!" Root pulled the lever, lifting Shaw's chair until she could see over the wheel.

Shaw turned red, and refused to admit that the higher chair helped her. "I was fine! I'm not too short to drive or anything."

"It's too bad that you're the oldest, Shaw," John said, sounding cocky, "The rest of us can see out the window."

"I'm going to beat the shit out of you," Shaw ground out through gritted teeth. She pulled into a parking spot and threw the car in park. "Out of the car."

The friends laughed. Shaw and John jumped out of the car, the other two getting out at a normal pace. John raced into the rink, Shaw chasing him, as Root and Harold followed slowly.

Shaw beat John into the rink and decided that that was victory enough. The rink was almost empty. It was still a little chilly at the end of March and people probably didn't want to go to an indoor ice rink, but Shaw hadn't been able to skate all winter because of her injuries.

She and John waited at the front desk for Harold and Root, then bought their tickets and moved to the locker room. They picked up their skates, put them on, and then headed out onto the ice.

"Bet I can beat you around the rink," John challenged Shaw. "Unless you're scared?"

Shaw rolled her eyes. "You're on, John."

They stepped out onto the ice, taking off. It was a large, Olympic-sized rink.

John glanced at Shaw who was right next to him. "Root's jokes are rubbing off on you," he panted. "'You're on, John'?"

Shaw scoffed and pushed forward. "It was an accident, don't read into it."

"I'm just saying. There seems to be some rubbing happening."

She faltered for a second, slowing down. John speed off in front of her, cackling.

"You cheater!" Shaw screamed, trying to catch up. "That's cheating."

John sped past the rink's entrance, winning the race. Shaw just rolled her eyes and slowed down, stopping short of the gate. Harold and Root stepped onto the ice, laughing.

"What happened, Sameen?" Rood asked, slowly moving toward the center of the rink. She turned and skated backwards. "I was rooting for you." She grinned, holding a finger up. "Hey, Rooting!

Shaw glance at John, who was wiggling his eyebrows at her, and sighed. "John's a douchebag. That's what happened."

"Not douche-y if it's true!" he protested, letting Harold hold onto his arm for balance.

Shaw sighed again and skated to Root. "Whatever. Root's going to teach me how to skate backwards."

"I am?"

They spent the next few hours skating around the rink, trying various stunts. Shaw got to ride the Zamboni because Root told the staff it was her birthday. Harold and John had bought a cake and the friends convinced the rink to let them eat it on the ice.

Later, when Shaw was satisfied with their day, the group headed to the snack counter to buy some hot chocolates before they headed home.

"Hey," Root nudged John as they were waiting for their drinks, "isn't that Mr. Greer?"

The friends looked where she was pointing and saw an older man sitting by himself, eating a churro.

"Oh yeah," John confirmed, "That's him. It's so weird seeing teachers outside of school."

Shaw scratched her nose. "Who is that?"

Harold answered, accepting his drink from the server. "He was our science teacher in 6th grade. Actually, didn't you have him every year, Root?"

"Yeah and he was supposed to move to the high school and teach our Biology class, but he didn't."

"Right, Nathan is our teacher," Shaw said, blowing on her drink. "It's so weird that you had the same teacher for three years and then almost had him in high school, too. That wasn't a thing in New York."

"It's odd here, too," Root shrugged, "but teachers kept leaving or changing subjects and he was available."

Shaw changed the subject, not caring about some old man she'd never met. "So, camping trip, plans?"

"I have several tents," Harold offered, "and John has fishing gear."

"Also, hunting gear!" John smirked. "We could shoot some deer."

Shaw brightened, but Harold stopped her before she could speak.

"John, you know how much I dislike guns."

"Oh, come on," Shaw protested. "Your whole thing is information and learning. Well, I want to learn out to shoot a gun."

Harold looked from Shaw to John to Root, who shrugged. "Alright, but only hunting guns. Don't bring your Glock just because you can."

John nodded and gave Harold a mock salute. "Yes, sir!"

"You've got a lot of guns?" Shaw asked, intrigued.

"A few," John confirmed. "I mean, they're my parents' really, but I have access and I know how to use them."

Shaw laughed. "You have got to teach me!"

"Let's just focus on hunting for now," Harold jumped in, looking squeamish. "Please?

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Two weeks passed and it was finally spring break. Root shifted in the front seat, tucking a leg under herself and pushing her upper body out the window. She closed her eyes and smiled into the sun as the wind blew her hair.

It was early April and the weather was perfect. Sunny, breezy, and warm. Root was more excited about this camping trip than she'd been about anything in a long time. They were on the road to West Virginia. It was a six hour drive, so they'd left around 9am, hoping to get there around three. They'd been driving for about five hours now and Root couldn't wait to arrive.

She felt a hand softly grab the clasp of her bathing suit. She looked back at Shaw, eyebrows raised.

"Not with the boys here, Sameen," Root teased.

Shaw scowled. "I'm just making sure you don't fall out the window. This seemed better than sticking my hand down your shorts."

Everyone laughed and Shaw let go, putting her hand back on the clutch.

"Whatever, Jerks."

Root smiled and slid back down into her seat, putting her seatbelt back on.

John leaned forward from the back seat. "Relax, Shaw! It's spring break! This is hook-up season!"

"I wouldn't want to tease you, John." Shaw looked at him through the rear-view mirror. "Not after your girlfriend rejected your invite."

"Low blow, Shaw," John dropeed back into his seat. "So rude."

Harold sighed. "Your girlfriend took my girlfriend with her. It's nice to think that none of us are getting kissed this break."

Root laughed, but internally, she wished she and Sameen would kiss on this trip. They'd had too many sleepovers to count since Sameen learned Root hated her house, but Sameen was keeping her distance. She was still afraid of hurting Root, probably.

Root thought about her house. Ever since Hanna died, and her parents abandoned her, She'd felt like the house was evil. There was something wrong, she felt, in that house, but Root could never figure out what. Root had cleaned the house top to bottom, but it still felt dirty.

Root shook her head, snapping out of her thoughts, and caught the end of Shaw's sentence.

"…in the lake?" Sameen looked at Root expectantly.

"Sorry," Root blushed, "I was distracted."

"I asked if you wanted to go for a swim in the lake." Shaw repeated, glancing between Root and the road.

"Oh, sure!" Root smiled. "Will we have enough daylight?"

Harold nodded, "We're only about 30 minutes away. We'll have a few hours before sunset."

Shaw whooped loudly, surprising the rest of the group. She drummed her hands on the steering wheel. "Swimming, shooting, and s'mores!"

They all laughed at her enthusiasm. Root leaned her head out the window and let the wind wash over her.

A couple of hours later, they'd parked and set up camp. Harold and John went into their tents to call their girlfriends and Root and Shaw headed for the lake.

"I hope it isn't too cold," Shaw groused as they neared. "I'd still swim, but I would be grumpy."

Root laughed, stopping in front of the lake and kicking her shoes off. "It's barely spring, I'm sure it'll be freezing."

"What?" Shaw stared at her incredulously. "Freezing? Why did you suggest this then?"

"Um," Root pushed her shorts off, "Swimming was your idea."

"Whatever," Shaw dropped their towels on the ground and ripped her clothing off. "Let's go."

Root looked her over. Shaw was in the same white bikini she'd worn at Harold's pool party. That party felt further away than three months ago. It was a different time. Shaw hadn't almost died, Root hadn't danced with a girl before, or fell asleep in a field. She hadn't done all the things with Shaw that had brought them closer. She knew, even if Shaw didn't, that they were meant to be.

She felt Shaw take her hand and looked at down. She looked up at Shaw, confused.

"The water is fucking freezing. Let's go up to that ledge and jump in." Shaw point at a rocky platform jutting out above them.

Root nodded and let Shaw drag her up the hill to the platform. The area they were in was beautiful. Spring had come earlier to the mid-atlantic than to Connecticut, so all the trees were lush and green.

Shaw leaned forward, peering over the edge. "It looks higher from up here."

"Scared, Sameen?" Root teased.

"No," Shaw grunted petulantly. "Ok, count to three and then jump."

Root adjusted her grip on Shaw's hand and started counting. "One…two-"

"Three!" Shaw screamed and launched them over the edge.

Root grinned as they fell, feeling weightless. They hit the water with a loud splash and Root let go of Shaw's hand as she spun underwater. She shook her head to reorient herself and swam to the surface. Shaw's laugh reached her ears.

"That was amazing!" Shaw hooted, smiling like a maniac.

"Yeah, but it's so cold." Root shivered in the freezing current.

"Come here." Shaw tugged Root toward her and wrapped her legs around Root's waist. She put her arms around Root's shoulders. "Huddle for warmth!"

Root treaded water, trying to ignore how good Shaw's smooth skin felt against hers. "I think you're just trying to drown me."

"Nope. Just testing your abilities," Shaw joked, pushing her hair back and looking around. "Do you think we could make a swing? We brought that extra rope."

"Maybe," Root said. "We can ask the boys when we're done swimming." Root suggested, keenly aware of Shaw's chest against her own.

Root almost wanted to say something to Sameen. Maybe say something about teasing a gay girl, but then she'd have to admit how much Sameen affected her. She could ruin their already tense friendship.

She looked at Shaw's face, gasping softly when she met Sameen's eyes. They were so close, Root thought, and the droplets on Sameen's mouth made Root lick her lips. She watched Sameen do the same.

Sameen's face dipped down, her breath tickling Root's face. Their lips brushed softly, but when Root's eyes fluttered shut, Shaw jerked away.

Shaw let go of Root, eyes full of fear.

"I'm sorry," Shaw whispered, turning to swim to shore.

Root watched her go, slowly treading water. Shaw grabbed her clothes and disappeared towards the campsite.

Root stilled, letting herself sink below the water and for one, brief, selfish minute, she let herself hate Sameen. She hated how anxious Sameen made her. She hated how deep Sameen locked herself away. She hated how much Sameen made her feel.

Root hated herself for being weak, for starving after someone who could never love her back. She hated herself for missing her parents, for missing Hanna, for missing happiness. She was worthless, unnecessary. Sameen was fine before her and would be fine after her. Harold and John had each other. Her parents had each other.

Root had no one. Root was no one. Samantha Groves was dead. What about Root?

Root's hands clenched underwater, the current warm on her face. Warm. Root opened her eyes. The lake had been freezing a minute ago.

Root shot to the surface, gasping for breath. Around her, the surface of the lake steamed, like it had warmed rapidly. Root swam to shore as quickly as possible and turned to stare at the water. How had that happened? She glanced down at herself, but she seemed fine.

Root pulled her shorts on, slipped into her shoes and hurried back to camp. Nothing else in the woods seemed different and her friends were gathered around the fire pit, chatting and trying to start a fire. Root took one last look around the woods and decided not to tell them about the lake. It didn't seem like something she could easily explain.

She caught the end of John's sentence.

"…like your feelings radio has the volume turned all the way down?"

Shaw laughed dryly, tying up her hair. "Sure, John. My feelings radio is broken."

They glanced up when Root came closer, looking guilty. Root rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I can handle rejection."

"Root-" Shaw started, but Root cut her off.

"It's ok, Sameen." Root smiled, sitting on the log next to her. "I'll live."

Shaw bit her lip, but nodded, letting it go.

Root turned in to the group. "Please tell me someone knows how to make a fire."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root settled onto the grass as Shaw stretched. The school year was over. Normally, Root would have brought her school books and helped Shaw study as she ran. That had been their thing all year. This time, though, they could just hang out. Tests had been taken, classes passed, and yearbooks signed.

Root watched Shaw start running and tried to figure out how to voice her thoughts. When she and Shaw had first become friends, they hadn't gotten on as well as Root would have like. Root had snooped and betrayed Shaw's trust. Then, Shaw had pulled away. They'd found their way back together again. They had chosen friendship, built it on trust and understanding and Root couldn't lie to herself anymore.

She was in love with Sameen. She loved her more than she loved herself. Root knew that Shaw couldn't love her back, she wasn't available emotionally. She wasn't attracted to women, but in the months since the camping trip, Shaw had changed.

Sameen had become more physically affectionate, more interested in what coding projects Root had been working on. At first, Root didn't know what to make of it. Eventually, she realized that Sameen was trying to connect in any way she could. She was trying to show her interest in Root.

Root had been confused. A few months ago, Shaw had run away from a kiss and now she was trying to show Root she was available. Root thought back to her birthday party a couple weeks ago.

Harold had thrown Root a party at his house and invited their friends. It was a casual event, just their group, Joss, and Grace, but it had been amazing. Sameen had spent the entire time following Root around. She'd complimented her hair, her bathing suit, her nail polish. She'd bought Root a book about queer women and computers as her present.

Then, three days ago, Wednesday, Shaw had walked into school acting like she did on day one. All affection gone; all flirting gone. When Root questioned her, Shaw told her that she'd tell Root when she was ready.

Root hadn't pushed her. Maybe Sameen thought she was gay and, maybe, she needed to figure out how to tell Root.

After tonight, there were only two weeks before Root left for Robotics camp. She went every summer. Now that she was 15, she'd be allowed to compete for the annual awards. If she confessed her love, though, and Sameen reciprocated, she'd be happy to stay here and spend the summer going on adventures.

Root heard Shaw's footsteps come towards her and stood up. Shaw was sweaty, her face flushed. She took a few panting breaths, swiping her forehead.

"Hey," Shaw started, "I've been putting it off, but I have something to tell you."

"Me first," Root said and waited for Shaw to nod. She drew a deep breath. "Sameen. I love you."

Sameen's eyes widened and her breathing stopped. Root clasped her hands together, knuckles white.

"I had to tell you," Root explained. "I couldn't keep pretending anymore. It doesn't matter if you like me back. I just hope you can still be my friend. I know you're straight, but- "

"No," Shaw sighed, closing her eyes. "I'm not straight. I'm bi. I came out to myself years ago."

Root felt her blood run cold. How had she been so wrong? Shaw had been able to like her this whole time, but she didn't.

"What?" Root's voice came out in a whisper. "Why wouldn't you tell me? Why would you let me doubt for a year? Was I not good enough for you?" Root started to get worked. "Was I not pretty enough? Not athletic enough?"

"Root, no!" Shaw reached forward, but Root stepped away. "It's not you. You're amazing. I wanted to kiss you 10 minutes after meeting you."

"Then why?" she yelled, hot tears burning her skin.

"I didn't want to hurt you!" Shaw tried to explain. "I can't love you the way you want me to. You deserve better than me!"

"I deserve nothing!" Root growled. "But I want you." She took a shaky breath. "Don't you want me too?"

Shaw looked at Root, her face hinting at sadness. "Yes, Root. I want you, too."

Root gave a strangled sob, her anger leaving her. "Then let's be together. Let's date and kiss and do all the things that girlfriends do."

"No." Shaw said, closing her eyes. "I can't."

"I don't understand!" Root sobbed, her hands clutching at the front of her shirt. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm leaving, Root," Shaw said, resigned. "Angela and Nathan are sending me away."

Root blinked, her mind swirling, unable to focus on anything. "Huh?"

"I overheard them talking about where to move my furniture. They talked about getting rid of it and making room for the new boy they're bringing in." Shaw shrugged. "I'm sorry, Root. I can't do anything about it."

Root looked at her, trying to decipher how she felt, but Sameen's face was a hard mask. There was nothing. Root stepped forward, taking Sameen's hands in her own.

"I have two weeks before I leave for camp. Let's spend them together."

Sameen shook her head, but tightened her grip on Root's hands. "I can't, Root. I…I need some space."

"Well," Root frantically tried to think of something, "Penpals! We can send letters! Or…or text! We could date long distance and visit on weekends. It's not too far! I get my license in a year or maybe your new family will let you borrow their car. I could take a train!" Root's voice grew thick with tears. "We can do it, Sameen. I love you."

"Root…" Shaw looked away. "It won't last. We're just teenagers. What are the odds? I'll lose my feelings. You'll meet someone new."

"No," Root denied, "you're the only one for me."

Shaw smiled sadly. She took a step forward, letting go of Root's hands and gently cupping her face. She raised to her tiptoes, kissing Root with every ounce of love she had inside her.

Shaw dropped down, stepping back and breaking their contact. She met Root's eyes, one solitary tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Root," Shaw said, her voice flat, "this just isn't my thing."

For the second time, Shaw ran away. Root dropped to her knees, wailing. Her sobs echoed in the warm summer air. She didn't know if she'd last the summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is already up.


	11. Anything That Goes Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go.
> 
> Grimoire is pronounce Grim War

Shaw walked into Blair High School with a bounce in her step. She'd asked Harold to hack into the school's administrative server and change her schedule so that she and Root could be in all the same classes again. Shaw was very excited that Angela and Nathan had decided to adopt her.

She'd confronted them that night at the end of last year, demanding answers. Shaw had been so shaken by her break-up with Root that she needed to feel in control of something. Angela and Nathan had been discussing moving furniture around because they wanted her to choose her own when they adopted her and they were planning on moving the old furniture into the guest bedroom for her new foster brother to use.

Shaw had immediately called Root and gotten no response. She'd raced to the field, but Root and her bike were gone. Shaw had driven all way to Root's house, but she wasn't there either. She'd spent the whole night looking, to no avail.

When Shaw hadn't heard from Root in two weeks, she assumed she'd just left early for Robotics camp. Shaw had gotten a medical internship for the summer at a hospital upstate. She'd written Root a letter almost every day, but never heard from her.

Now, Shaw waited outside of their first period, nervously playing with her phone. Harold and John had 1st period math, not Chemistry with Root and Shaw. They hadn't heard form Root all summer either, but assured Shaw that Robotics camp could get hectic. They'd checked on her house a few times since they got back, but it always looked empty.

Shaw glanced at her phone again; only five minutes until the late bell. She looked up and grinned. Root was walking towards her. The smile slid off her face as Root got closer.

Root looked terrible. Her skin was pale and grey. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. The clothing she wore hung from her body, swallowing it up.

Shaw stepped toward her to ask what was wrong, but Root walked right passed her, not even seeing her. Shaw followed her into class, sliding onto the stool next to her. She dropped her bag on the ground.

"Root?" Shaw asked. "What happened?"

Root glanced at her, her expression angry. "What do you think happened, Shaw?"

Shaw flinched. She knew she'd hurt Root, but she'd called her so many times and written her so many letters. "Did you get my letters? I must have sent you twenty. I called you once a day."

Root shrugged. "I got no letters and no phone calls."

"What?" Shaw hissed. "I sent so many, apologizing, explaining, begging you to forgive me.

Root looked at her, searching her face for lies. Shaw did her best to seem open and honest. She'd never felt so dependent on someone else's opinion of her. After what felt like an eternity, Root looked away, opening her backpack.

"So, what's your explanation?" Root questioned, not looking at Shaw. "Why are you still here?"

"Angela and Nathan weren't discussing my furniture because they were getting rid of me." She explained. "They were adopting me."

Root stilled, her hand hovering over her pencil. "So, you're staying?"

"I am." Shaw smiled at her, willing Root to smile back. "I'm all yours, if you'll still have me."

Root looked at her. "I don't know that I can go through that again, Sameen." She gave a small smile and Shaw couldn't help but think it was only a shadow of her former grin.

"I'll never leave you again, Root." Shaw promised. "I'll follow you to college, to Antarctica, to the moon. Anywhere you are, I'll be next to you."

The bell ran and Mr. Greer entered. Root stiffened.

"Let me think about it," Root whispered.

Shaw just nodded.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The silence in the car was deafening. Shaw tightened her grip on the steering wheel. She was giving Harold and John a ride home, then Root was going to sleepover.

When Root had brought it up after school, Shaw had almost jumped for joy. This was progress. Maybe Root could forgive her eventually.

"Um, Ms. Shaw…" Harold said from the backseat. "Who is this?"

Shaw glanced in her rearview mirror and rolled her eyes. Squished between John and Harold was her new foster brother, Lionel. Lionel was thirteen and in 8th grade. Shaw had been charged with taking him to and from school because the two buildings were right next to each other.

"Lionel Fusco. Nice to meet ya!" Lionel announced, holding his hand out for Harold to shake. "I'm Shortstack's new brother."

Shaw growled as her friends laughed. "You're not that much taller than me, Lionel."

Lionel shrugged. "Sure, but I'm also three years younger, so I'm already winning."

"Wow, Shaw," John commented. "You let him call you 'Shortstack'?"

"I've got a pending adoption," she reasoned, "Murder would take it off the table."

Everyone laughed and Shaw glanced at Root, glad to see her smiling. It had been one of the scariest days in Shaw's life and any glimpse of hope was precious.

Root caught her looking and met her eyes. Root gave her a small smirk and turned to look out the window.

"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?" Lionel asked.

"Well," Harold offered, "We go swimming or to the arcade. Sometimes we go bowling or ride our bikes."

"Huh," Lionel snorted. "Any of ya play video games?"

"I play World of Warcraft," Harold answered.

"I like first person shooters," John added.

Lionel smack him on the shoulder, making him jump. "We're gonna be friends. I can tell."

The group laughed again and Shaw stepped on the gas, hurrying to get home.

After they'd dropped Harold and John off, it only took them a few minutes to get home. Shaw parked the car and grabbed her bag from the backseat. She wanted to get up to her room so she had some time to talk to Root before dinner.

Luckily, Angela and Nathan were out, so she went straight for her room. Lionel tried to follow them in, but she managed to push him out and close the door.

"Sameen! Let me in!" Lionel whined. "What are you guys gonna do? Make out or something?"

Shaw groaned. "Just go away, Lionel. Go do homework or something!" she yelled through the door.

Shaw heard Lionel's footsteps fade away and sighed with relief. She turned to look at Root, who was sitting on her bed. Shaw smiled and sat down facing her.

"I don't think I'm going to like having a little brother," Shaw said, picking at her blanket.

"Well, if gaining him means I might keep you, then it's worth it," Root said, laying a hand over Shaw's.

"Well, when you say it like that…" Shaw rolled her eyes.

Shaw took a deep breath and leaned forward, moving towards Root's face. She saw Root's eyes drop to her mouth and automatically licked her lips. She hesitated an inch from Root's face. Root leaned forward pressing their lips together. Shaw raised a hand to cup Root's face and felt Root's hands clutch at her side.

Shaw couldn't believe she'd almost lost this. She had almost denied herself the heaven of Root's lips. Shaw pulled back to breathe, but kissed her again, unwilling to let this end. After what seemed like forever, Root pulled away. Shaw grinned at her, heart racing. Her smile faltered when Root didn't smile back.

"Root?" Shaw asked. "Are you ok?"

"Am I ok, Sameen?" Root rolled her eyes. "I almost died this summer."

"Died?" The blissful feeling of kissing Root fading away. "What?"

Root met Shaw's eyes and Shaw didn't recognize her. "I almost killed myself when Hanna died. What did you think would happen when my heart broke a second time?"

Shaw tried to smile, but couldn't. "But you're alive. You're ok and now I'm back. We can heal together."

Root laughed, sounding angry. "I lived because I found a purpose. I have something to keep me going. When it's over," Root shrugged, "Who knows?"

Shaw blinked. "A purpose? What is it? I can help you."

"I don't know that I can trust you, Sameen. How do I know you're not one of them?"

"One of who?" Shaw asked. "Root, you seem weird."

"I'm glad you came back. You can look after the boys for me." Root started to stand, but Shaw grabbed her arm.

"Root, this isn't funny. What's going on? Let me help you."

Root looked down at her, impassively, and Shaw couldn't help but wonder if this is how other people saw her. She disliked being on this side of things.

Root blinked, breaking the tension. "I'm going to tell you a secret. If I'm still alive a week, I'll know I can trust you."

Shaw's eyes widened. Still alive. "Root, what- "

"My parents are dead and Mr. Greer killed them."

Shaw felt nauseous. "Mr. Greer? Our biology teacher?"

Root nodded and removed Shaw's hand from her arm. "Don't look for me, Sameen. I'll find you in a week. Hopefully."

She moved toward the window, but hesitated. She turned to Shaw and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"One week," Root whispered, then slipped out the window.

Shaw stared after her, ears ringing. What happened over the summer? Shaw should have stayed. This was not the reception she'd been expecting.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The next day, Shaw picked up Harold and John and drove them all to school. She didn't want to bring up her conversation with Root last night, so she came up with some weak excuse about Root not feeling well and staying home. She'd paid Lionel twenty bucks to keep his mouth shut about Root not even spending the night.

When Root didn't show up to 1st period, Shaw tried not to panic. She called Root between every class, trying to reach her, but got no answer. On Wednesday, she'd gone to Root's house, climbing the outside and peering in every window. Root was not there.

Shaw didn't know what to do. On the one hand, she wasn't sure she believed Root. This seemed like something a heartbroken teenage girl with missing parents might come up with to cope. She'd been all alone in that awful house all summer.

On the other hand, if this was somehow real, Shaw couldn't even tell anyone about this. She spent the whole week watching Mr. Greer and she had to admit, he gave her the heebie-jeebies. It was weird that he'd mysteriously taught Root every year except the year Shaw had shown up. Not that she thought she was somehow involved with this whole mystery, but Mr. Greer had shown up at the ice rink on Shaw's birthday.

Shaw spent the weekend driving around town with Harold, John, and Lionel. She'd said she wanted to see what had changed over the summer and show Lionel around. She didn't know if the boys believed her, but they humored her and Lionel seemed to have a good time.

She got home around 7pm on Sunday, locked Lionel out of her room, and threw herself onto the bed.

She hadn't heard from Root since Monday. Shaw's stomach felt like a brick. what if Root's theory was true? Had she done something wrong? Did going to Root's house tip off Mr. Greer? Was Root dead?

Shaw's phone rang and she jumped a foot. Sighing and trying to calm her heart, she climbed out of bed to grab her phone. This was ridiculous. Shaw looked at her phone and froze. It was Root.

"Hello?" Shaw answered the phone. "Root?"

"I'm alive, Sameen. I'm glad I was right about you."

"Where are you? Are you ok?"

"I'm texting you an address. Meet me there at 11 o'clock. Alone."

The call ended and Shaw stared at her phone. She never felt fear, but Root was inspiring a lot of it in her recently. Root sounded crazy.

Shaw decided to go to John's house. She had four hours until this mysterious meeting. She'd tell him as little as possible; just enough to convince him to give her a gun. She tried not to think about who she was planning to protect with it – Root or herself.

Shaw shoved her phone in her pocket and headed out of her room. When she passed the living room, Lionel stuck his head out.

"Where are you going? To hang with your friends again? Can I come? I want to play Halo with John."

Shaw sighed. "No. Tell Angela and Nathan that I'm sleeping over at Harold's."

"The nerdy one with a limp? I thought that girl was your type or at least Mr. Tall, Dark, and Athletic."

"Lionel!" Shaw snapped, regretting it immediately. "Look, this is not the time. Just stay home, ok? And tell the Ingrams about the sleepover."

She yanked the door open and left, climbing into her car and heading to John's.

Four hours later, she sat in her car in front of a double-wide trailer just outside of town. This must be where Root's been hiding, Shaw thought. She looked at the pistol sitting on the passenger seat and sighed. Shaw picked it up and climbed out of her car. She stuffed the gun in the back of her jeans, pulling her T-shirt over it. Nervously, she picked her way toward the trailer.

She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She tried the handle and was surprised to see the door open. Entering slowly, Shaw let the door close behind her, stepping into the space. She stopped after a few steps.

Shaw looked around, eyes wide. Every flat surface was covered in paper. Maps, newspaper clippings, photographs, bank statements. Shaw looked at the wall closest to her. There was a large map of their town with various landmarks circled in red. Root's house was outlined in blue, Harold and John's were in green. Shaw's was in purple.

The next map on the wall was of Connecticut. Shaw looked around again. There was a map of New England, then one of the East United States, the whole United States. This continued until Shaw got to a world map. Satellite images were stapled to it.

Shaw swallowed, suddenly very glad that she brought her gun. This was not somewhere she ever expected to see Root and finding out that Root had created this made her feel terrified.

"Good," Root said, making Shaw jump. "You've made yourself at home."

Shaw turned around and saw Root standing by the entrance, dressed all in black, holding a gun in one hand and a grocery bag in the other.

"Yeah, um, I've never been in this area before," Shaw commented, glancing at Root's gun.

"Oh, this?" Root raised her hand, showing off the gun. "I needed some protection. You'd be surprised how lax gun laws are in this area. I just wore a lowcut shirt and the boy at the Walmart counter almost forgot to charge me."

Shaw laughed, wincing at how forced it sounded even to her. She cleared her throat, flapping her arms nervously. "So, I'm here. What do you need to tell me?"

Root watched her impassively, then tossed the grocery bag on the small table in the kitchen area. "There's something big at work, Sameen, and if I tell you, then there's no going back."

"I'm here for you, Root. I said that and I mean it."

Root's head tilted and she gave a small smile. "I almost believe you, Sameen."

"Well, uh," Shaw stuttered, "I hope that someday you will believe me."

"Maybe," Root conceded. She sighed and crossed her arms, gun still in her hand. "Right now, I need your help."

Shaw nodded, feeling her back start to sweat. She tried to blame it on the warm August air. "Ok."

Root pointed to a map of Norway stuck on the wall. "Remember I told you that the last time my parents used their money was in Norway?"

"Yeah," Shaw confirmed.

"Well, I went back through their accounts and they went to Norway every time they went away. Always to Norway. I couldn't pinpoint exactly where because they always flew into a different airport. One time it was a Swedish airport, but the money trail led back to an ATM in Kongsvinger, where they withdrew over a thousand dollars."

Shaw looked at the map. All the pins in it were around the edges. "Did they never go inland?"

"I think they did, but they always withdrew money from an ATM and then didn't touch their accounts again until they left." Root moved her hand to a bank statement. "The last time they spent their money was at the Oslo airport. They bought a plane ticket home."

"So…" Shaw started, thinking. "They never got on the plane?"

Root moved across the trailer and pointed to some sort of medical paper. "After I found out about the Norway trips, I tried to look my parents up in the FBI database, but there was no record of them. I had thought maybe they'd done some crime and been detained, but Norway has an extradition treaty with the US, so they would have been brought back."

"Except that there was no record of them."

"At all," Root emphasized. "My parents don't exist on paper. I looked into the FBI, INTERPOL, the CIA, nothing."

"Wait," Shaw held a hand up, "You hacked into INTERPOL?"

Root rolled her eyes. "I know you might think I just guessed my parents' bank password, but I'm a good hacker, Shaw. I'm not an idiot. This is all child's play."

"That's illegal, Root," Shaw said, nervously.

Root laughed. "So is letting a minor live alone for three fucking years. If this town is going to ignore the law, so am I." She stared at Shaw until Shaw nodded. "Right. So, I sent my blood to an NYPD Forensic Lab and said that I was a detective trying to find some criminals, but my only lead was a relative's blood."

"They found your parents?"

"Yes," Root confirmed, "but they had different names."

Shaw moved toward the kitchen and sat down, the gun digging into the small of her back. They pain helped keep her grounded. "Root, this sounds like some big conspiracy theory. I want to believe you and help you, but this is crazy."

Root's fist clenched around the gun. "I'm not crazy, Shaw. I know that this is true."

Shaw sighed and wiped a hand across her face. "Ok. So, your parents are…what? Spies? In Witness Protection?"

"No," Root moved to sit next to Shaw, looking at her intensely. "They're computer programmers.

"They have secret identities because they…work with computers?" Shaw squinted, not understanding.

"They were working on a government project called Northern Lights."

"Northern Lights? Like the Aurora Borealis?" Shaw asked.

Root rolled her eyes. "The name is taken from that, yes, but I think it's some sort of super computer."

"Super computer?" Shaw repeated again, stupidly.

Root stood again moving to the picture of Greer she'd posted next to a news clipping. "A year before I was born, Greer announced that the government was working on some sort of artificial power source. He describes it like a…" Root fumbled with the explanations. "Like think of a super suit that gives you incredible power, but it would be inside the soldier, not outside."

Shaw stared at her blankly. "Like Captain America? But a computer?"

"Sure," Root shrugged. "I think that's a load of bullshit, though. I think it was just a computer that replaces the need for humans."

"Not a human with a super computer power source thing. Just a super computer power source thing?" Shaw asked, raising her eyebrows. "Look, I'm not a tech person. Maybe Harold could help us?"

"No!" Root grit her teeth. "I don't want anyone else involved. I only let you in because searching this town will take too long on my own and I'll need someone to go to Norway with me."

"Norway?" Shaw slid out of her chair. "Norway? Root, what? Are you running away?"

"I'm going to find my parents, Sameen," Root stated. Her eyes watered. "They didn't leave me. They were taken. Even if I find them dead, even if Greer killed them, I have to know." Root swiped at her eyes with the back of her gun hand. "I have to avenge them."

Suddenly, Shaw understood. Root had spent all summer trying to find something to hold onto, some reason to live. She'd found some pebble of hope about her parents and run with it. Shaw looked around at all the information on the wall and saw it for what it was – Root trying to survive.

"Alright," Shaw sighed, resigning herself to the madness, "I'll help you find whatever your searching for in town, but I'm not sure about Norway. I don't know if I can risk my future like that."

Root shrugged. "Once we find it, you'll change your mind. No adoption is worth risking the world."

"The world?" Shaw's head started to throb. "If this is that important, shouldn't we contact the authorities?"

"The authorities? The police?" Root stared at her, incredulous. "Shaw, what part of 'this town left me alone in my house for three years and didn't do a god damn thing' do you not understand? We can't trust anyone. Especially not now that Greer is back."

Shaw closed her eyes. Root had a point. Even Angela and Nathan had let Root live in that house. They'd just called her parents weird and moved on. Maybe something was going on. Why would a government employee like Mr. Greer teach Science for years? Was it to keep an eye on Root?

Shaw sighed and opened her eyes. "I'll bite. Why did Mr. Greer kill your parents and why is he back in town?"

Root grinned. She nudged Shaw gently. "You're starting to come around."

"This better be worth the headache, Root. If this is all for nothing, I'm going to scream."

"Oh, it is worth it. I told you," She gestured vaguely, "world threatening." Root tucked her gun into the back of her pants. "I think my parents figured out how to use the machine, or how to build it at least. The government records just say that the project grew 'too unstable' and they were going to shut it down, but they didn't re-assign Greer or my parents. The project kept going, but the records were sealed."

"You think Mr. Greer killed your parents because they solved the puzzle first?" Shaw crossed her arms, trying to take this seriously.

"Yes!" Root smiled. "Great minds think alike!"

"Uh-huh," Shaw grunted.

"I found some of my parents' notes at my house." Root moved further into the house and picked up a stack of papers. "It's mostly in Norwegian, but there are multiple references to 'The Grimoire.' Now, a Grimoire is a book of spells, but I think it's the base code for the machine."

"The machine?" Shaw repeated. "Your parents hid the code for their project in an old book of magic so that Greer couldn't find it?"

"Yes."

"And it's somewhere in this town in The Middle of Fucking Nowhere, Connecticut?"

"I know it is!" Root walked back to the map of their town. "Why else would my parents move here? Why would Greer stay here? Why would they have brought you here?"

"Me?" Shaw pointed to herself. Just when she was starting to get into it and understand, Root threw another curveball. "What do I have to do with this?"

"Oh, my sweet, naïve Sameen," Root sighed. "Do you think foster care just crosses jurisdictions like this? There are a lot of foster kids in New York City, I'm sure, but to bring you to a new state? That's not normal."

Shaw thought back to the odd car ride she'd taken with her social worker, Martine. They'd been silent the whole way and Martine had never looked at her once. When Shaw had asked about crossing over state lines, Martine just told her New York City was full and they were starting to take kids out of state. Shaw hadn't believed her, but she'd just assumed Martine was talking down to her because she was a kid.

"Ok…" Shaw relented. "Let's say I believe you. What is my role in this?"

"I'm not sure," Root admitted. "I don't know if it was to befriend me or not, but you're here now and that's lucky for me."

Shaw smiled weakly. This was all a lot to take in and she wasn't even sure she believed it. All of this seemed too crazy to be true. Some of Root's points lined up, though. Of course, you can line anything up if you try hard enough. What happened to the flirting and the normal high school problems?

Root laid a hand on Shaw's shoulder. "Why don't you go home, Sameen? I know this is a lot to handle. I had all summer to adjust, but I just threw this all at you at once."

Shaw nodded, feeling removed from the situation. She recognized her defenses rising and her emotions fleeing. "Yeah."

Root hesitated, but took her hand away. She moved to the plastic bag she'd set on the table and pulled out an ice cream sandwich. She held it out for Shaw.

"This is probably a little melted now, but I wanted to get you a gift. As a thank you for believing me."

Shaw looked at it blankly. She took it and headed for the door. She stopped with her hand on the knob.

"Root?" she asked, looking over her shoulder.

Root was looking at her nervously. "Yes?"

"Is this real? One hundred percent real? Not some depression-driven craziness you've come up with because I broke your heart?"

Root's eyes fluttered as her eyes glistened with tears. "I wish it was, Sameen," she whispered, "Maybe then we could go back."

"Yeah," Shaw said, numbly, pushing the door open. "Maybe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's a POI fic without a little adventure?


	12. Black Dog Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are probably going to get a little shorter. I'm going to take things as they come and post them at good breaking points.
> 
> Also, 3 Chapters in one day? 11,000 words? Damn. Where's this motivation when I'm writing research papers?

Shaw lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She’d gotten home hours ago, but she hadn’t made sense of anything. Greer had killed Root’s parents, who used fake names, because they’d come too close to solving the AI program that Greer wanted to solve in the first place? Something was missing from this.

Then there was the Super Computer Soldier Power Thing that was the project. The US Government wanted to create something that would live inside of someone’s body and give them unimaginable power. They then hid the code in the Grimoire which, after some googling, Shaw knew to be an ancient spell book that could be traced back to Mesopotamia.

This was too much. Shaw sat up and sighed, rubbing her face. It was almost four in the morning and she had to be up for school in two hours. Shaw looked around her room, spotting the gun on her nightstand and slipped it into her drawer. Was she even going to bother looking for this book? Where would she look?

Maybe she could find something that seemed close enough that Root would believe her, but was actually nothing. Root would get discouraged, Shaw would comfort her, and things would go back to normal.

Shaw squeezed her eyes as tight as she could. This was all her fault. If she had never hesitated to date Root, if she hadn’t left for the summer without making sure that Root was ok. Even the letters and calls she’d made hadn’t gone through. How did Root not get her letters?

Shaw laughed to herself. Maybe Greer was trying to make Root feel angry and alone so she’d find the magic code book for him. Shaw rubbed her face again and stood up. She’d look for the stupid book. She owed Root that much at least. She could just pretend to believe Root until this faded away and they could be together again.

Heading for her door, Shaw froze. Where was she going? The library? It was the middle of the night. She shrugged and opened her door, heading down the stairs. Angela and Nathan had a large collection of books in their living room, maybe they had something that would pass as ancient.

Shaw walked passed the kitchen and slowed to a stop. Someone was awake. She tip-toed to peek through the doorway and saw Lionel sitting on the counter, eating ice cream straight from the tub.

“Lionel!” She hissed, scaring him. “That’s mine!”

Lionel shrugged. “Your name isn’t on it.”

“Oh my god,” Shaw strode into the kitchen and snatched the tub from his hand. She closed it and put it back in the freezer. “You’re so annoying. Why are you awake?”

Lionel jumped of the counter. “I couldn’t sleep. New places make me scared.”

Shaw sighed and rolled her eyes, feeling bad for him. She always had a hard time sleeping in new places, too. She gestured for him to follow her and walked to the living room.

“I’m looking for a book that could be an ancient magic spell book.” She gestured to the books. “Help me pick one.”

Lionel looked at her skeptically. “Why?”

“Because there are a lot of books here and you owe me for the ice cream.”

“No, why do you need a spell book? You a witch or something?”

Shaw clenched her fist, trying not to punch him. “Just- Look for it, ok?”

He nodded and started looking around. Shaw started on the opposite side of the bookshelves and scanned everything.

“This looks good,” Lionel said, holding up a dark green book that looked like it’d seen better days. “It’s in some weird language, too.”

Shaw took it from him and squinted at the cover. “It looks like…It’s almost like Farsi, but not quite.”

“Farsi? What’s that?”

“Um, Persian,” Shaw mumbled, trying to read the characters. “This must be Old Persian, not modern Persian. It says something like…big shadow mammal? dark mammal? four legged…darkness?”

“Like the Grim?” Lionel asked.

Shaw jerked her head to stare at him. “The Grim? What is that?”

“Jeez, didn’t you read Harry Potter? The Grim is like a giant black dog that means like death.”

Shaw looked back at the book. “The book I’m looking for is called The Grimoire.”

“Oh, so someone made like a pun,” Lionel said, smirking. “Neat. An ancient joke.”

“Yeah,” Shaw said to herself. “But why would someone take a book, supposedly from Ancient Mesopotamia, which is now Iran, make a joke with a European myth, and then translate it back to Old Persian? I know they wanted to keep it secret, but damn.”

“Maybe there’s a black dog in Meso-whatever. Like an ancient one?” Lionel shrugged. “Hey, are you into like Dungeons and Dragons with your nerd friends? I mean, I’m not hating, I’d be down.”

“Shut up, Lionel,” Shaw muttered. “Maybe something to do with Canis Major?”

“What’s that?”

“The dog constellation. It goes back to the first millennia BC. They had already seen it.”

Lionel huffed, impressed. “Wow, you’re a nerd, too. Never would have guessed. What does that have to do with the Grim, though?”

“I don’t think it is the Grim. I think that might be an accidental pun.” Shaw turned and headed back to her room. “I have to do some research.”

“What?” Lionel chased after her. “Let me help!”

Shaw shook her head as she ran up the stairs. This had just gotten really personal to her. Computer code or not, what are the odds that Angela and Nathan would have a Grimoire in Persian and just happen to adopt her?

Shaw swallow thickly, closing her door in Lionel’s face. Maybe Root was right and she was part of this…this whatever it was.

Shaw sat on her floor and pulled out her laptop down off her desk. She put the book next to her laptop and googled Old Persian Black Dog Magic. Her eyes widened. There was a figure from Iranian culture known as Jamshid, the fourth and greatest king of the Pishdadian Dynasty. Jamshid was known as “The Twin.”

Shaw knew that Canis Major and Canis Minor were known as “The Twins.” In the myths, Jamshid had two four-eyed dogs that guarded the gates of hell.

What did any of this mythology have to do with her and Root and super computers?

Shaw looked at the book sitting on her floor. If this was the Grimoire, it was connected to ancient magic and to some grand idea of Hell. What kind of project was Greer working on that could provoke such imagery? She swallowed and opened the book.

What Shaw saw confused her. She was not a computer programmer by any means or a hacker or anything of that sort, but she knew that this was not computer code. The marks on the pages looked like oddly linear hieroglyphs. Was this some sort of spy code to figure out the computer code?

Shaw rolled her eyes. This was all probably some nerdy bullshit. Some programmer thought he was really clever, tying together God-like computer power and ancient magical Gods. Maybe Lionel was closer than he’d thought and this was some sort of government wide LARPing game.

She flipped through the pages idly. Shaw hissed and pulled her finger back. She’d gotten a paper cut on the thick pages. She watched a drop of blood pool at the end of her thumb. When she squeezed, the drop fell to the pages.

When the blood hit the book, something hit Shaw across her chest, throwing her back across the room. She slammed painfully into the far wall and fell to her bed, landing on her knees. She gasped, a hand pressed to her chest. It felt like all the air had been sucked from her lungs.

Her phone rang and she knew it would be Root. She stretched to her nightstand, picking up her phone and accepting the call.

“Root,” Shaw gasped.

“Sameen? Are you ok? Did you feel that?”

Shaw nodded before realizing that Root couldn’t see her. “Yeah, I did. You felt that?”

“I was knocked off my feet. All my research came off my walls.”

“What was it?”

“I don’t know.” Root’s voice sounded worried. “Do you think it was the whole town?”

“Hold on.” Shaw climbed painfully off the bed, opened her door and ran to Lionel’s room. She peeked in, but Lionel was dead asleep. “I don’t think so,” she whispered, “Lionel is still asleep and Angela and Nathan didn’t come out.”

“Huh, we would have heard from Harold or John if they’d felt it.”

“Root, I don’t think-“ Shaw stopped when she heard a car door slam.

Angela ran into the house, bursting into Shaw’s room seconds later. She saw the book and snatched it off the floor. Pressing it to her chest, she stared at Shaw who had hidden the phone behind her back.

“You will never look for this book again,” Angela hissed, her eyes wide. “Do you understand me? Never again.”

Shaw nodded dumbly. Angela searched her face and left the room closing the door behind her. Shaw moved to the window, expecting Angela to leave the house, but it seemed like she was staying in.

“Shaw?” Root’s voice called over the phone.

Shaw brought the phone to her ear, even more shaken than she was a minute ago. “Yeah.”

“What was that? Did you find the book?”

“No,” Shaw lied. “I found Angela’s diary. It was too salacious for a teenager, apparently.”

Root laughed. “I’m sure. Try to get some sleep before school tomorrow.”

“Will you be there?”

“No,” Root sighed. “There’s still so much to do and I have to find that book.”

“Ok,” Shaw ran a hand over her hair, starting to panic. “Well, I’ll look in the school library.”

“Thank you, Sameen! Good night!”

“Bye, Root.” Shaw ended the call and threw her phone onto the bed behind her.

This was too much. She had left town for two months and when she came back absolutely everything had changed. Root was a conspiracy nut, but she might not be wrong. Angela was definitely hiding something.

Shaw didn’t know what to do. That book was too close to home. Had her father been teaching her constellations for a reason? Maybe he was going to teach her about her culture when she got older. He had been interest in history as well as astronomy. Maybe if he was alive, he could help her.

Shaw sat on the bed, her stomach in a knot. For the first time in years, she wished her parents were alive. Of course, she thought about them sometimes, but right now, when she was so lost, she wished they were alive. That they could give her some answers.

She shook her head. Enough. She needed a plan.

Shaw stood up and started pacing around her room, thinking everything over. She suspended all disbelief. Greer worked for a secret government organization that was trying to create a super computer AI to replace the need for human workers. Root said that the program was supposed to live inside a human body.

Shaw wondered where the Grimoire came into play. What did magic have to do with computers? Maybe Greer had stumbled onto something he hadn’t expected. Maybe they’d put a program together with a human and awakened some sort of magical something.

Shaw didn’t think Root’s parents would be the only people tested. They might have been part of a group. This super human concoction could have awakened something in someone with lineage tracing back to ancient Iran. Someone with the capability for magic?

Shaw winced. This was crazy. Magic didn’t exist. Magic wasn’t real! She closed her eyes. Something had just thrown her across the room because of her blood.

She opened her eyes. Root needed to know about this. Root would be so much better about understanding this than Shaw. She’d know what to do.

Swallowing, Shaw turned to look at her phone, resting inconspicuously on her bed, like the minute she touched it was the last minute she was sane.

“Fuck,” Shaw whispered. “Just take a deep breath and think this over.”

Shaw inhaled, letting herself wipe her slate clean. She felt nothing.

Angela and Nathan had fostered her and then adopted her. They had a book about ancient magic that Greer was apparently looking for. They’d let Root live alone in that awful house for years and didn’t seem to care.

On the other hand, going down this road, going to Norway with Root, would ruin Shaw’s life. She’d never get adopted, she’d probably go to Juvie. Shaw couldn’t imagine that leaving the country without her parents’ consent would look good on a college resume.

How would they even get to Norway? Did Root have passports for them? Shaw supposed Root had her parents’ money and, apparently, they were insanely wealthy.

Shaw sighed and sat on her bed. She glanced at her phone, but didn’t touch it.

The last factor that affected her decision was Root. Just…Root. Shaw knew that Root would do this with or without her. It was her way to cope, like being the best athlete had been Shaw’s. Root was smart and determined and so, so vulnerable. Shaw had promised to protect her. Shaw was the reason Root was even like this.

Shaw picked her phone up and opened Root’s contact. She almost smiled at the picture. It was Root wearing her bikini, holding Bear in her lap, grinning. They’d taken it at a sleepover one weekend at Harold’s. Bear had adopted Shaw and Root, much to Harold’s dismay. She hit call. She owed Root so much.

“Sameen? I thought you were going to sleep?”

“I know where the book is.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Five hours later, Shaw and Root sat next to each other on a plane bound for Norway.

Shaw had left for school at six, dropped Lionel off and then headed back home. She’d searched the house up and down, finally finding the book under a loose floorboard in Angela’s closet.

Shaw had packed light, just a backpack. She’d taken the book, two sets of clothing, her laptop, and her Tamagotchi. She knew it was stupid to bring it, but just holding it gave her some sense of security. She’d taken one last look around her bedroom, not sure when she’d be back and left the house behind.

She’d called a taxi, not wanting to steal Angela’s car. Root met her at the airport with a fake passport and a fake ID. Apparently, they were both 18 now. Shaw wished Root had made them 21, but remembered that the legal drinking age in Europe was 18. It cheered her up slightly.

They’d made it through security without a hitch. Root kept hold of their paperwork until they were on the plane. Shaw suspected Root was afraid she might change her mind and bolt. When they were seated, Root held her hand out for the book.

“Let me look it over.”

Shaw pulled the book out of her bag and passed it over. “There’s something I didn’t tell you.”

Root gave her a sharp glance. “What?”

“That weird force or whatever it was that threw us back…It happened when my blood hit a page of the book.”

“Your blood?” Root looked down at the book. She opened it and gasped, obviously as surprised as Shaw had been to see the strange alphabet in the book. “This is not code.”

“No,” Shaw agreed, glancing between Root’s face and the book. “I thought you might know what it was.”

Root slowly shook her head and Shaw’s stomach tightened. “I don’t.” She glanced at Shaw, confused. “This can’t be the book.”

“I’m pretty sure it is,” Shaw argued. She reached over and closed the book, pointing to the title. “This is Old Persian. It’s basically the concept of a black dog guarding the gates to Hell. I think it’s some sort of portal, spell book. Listen,” Shaw adjusted in her seat to face Root better, “I think Greer wants this for his program. Like he thinks the magic is real.”

“Magic?” Root looked skeptical. “Now who sounds crazy?”

“Here’s my theory,” Shaw proposed, “Greer injected, or inserted, whatever the computer program was into one of the scientists, but instead of making thing a super computer, it awoke the magic within them. They did it to someone with Iranian blood and it brought to life this magical, Mesopotamian force.”

Root looked down at the book. “That would explain your involvement, sure…but this isn’t like an AI.”

“What is an AI, but a technological God?” Shaw asked. “I’ve been really thinking about this. The ancient Persians wouldn’t have access to a super computer. They would have had to use ritual. That’s what this book is. It’s code, but not computer code. It’s God Code.”

Shaw watched Root’s face as she stared down at the book. Root started to speak, but hesitated.

“So…” Root said, processing, “You think Greer put the AI into my parents, but they had the propensity for magic, so the God Code took over? That’s why he killed them?”

Shaw shrugged. “I’m not sure, honestly. I think they would need the Persian blood to get the magic, though.”

“Maybe the book helps people who aren’t Persian,” Root mused. “Like Persians have it naturally and everyone else needs the ritual, the AI.”

“That’s what Greer is after.”

“Huh,” Root thought, sitting back in her seat. “That explains a lot. We’ll see.”

“We will?” Shaw asked.

“Yes, Sameen.” Root smiled at her. “I discovered who my parents kept visiting in Norway. There was a professor at the University of Oslo and guess what he specializes in?”

Shaw thought she knew. “What?”

“Iranian Studies and Persian Language.”

“I guess,” Shaw said, “we can agree, then, that we have the right book.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I went down the fucking rabbit hole with this research. I started convincing myself that all this shit was connected. I was like Mesopotamian Grim?? The twins?? The Grimoire?? I had to take a break and walk away. I came back like "Alright, thesis statement. You need a thesis statement. These random threads will get you nowhere."


	13. No Pain, No Gain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who is suffers from second hand embarrassment, the second half of this was a lot easier to write than the first.  
> Anyway  
> WARNING: Blood mention, self-harm mention, suicide mention

Shaw stared up at the high ceilings inside the University. The building was beautiful, strong columns and swirling ground murals.

She felt a tug at her arm and rolled her eyes. “I’m coming, jeez. I just wanted to look around first. It’s not every day you go to Norway.”

“This is not the time, Sameen,” Root scolded. “We have big things to attend to.”

“Yeah, yeah, blood magic, evil dogs,” Shaw muttered, following Root inside.

They’d landed only an hour ago. Shaw glanced at her watch and did some mental math. It was about 4:30pm right now in Norway. Root had scheduled their appointment with Professor Claypool before their plane had taken off, so he was waiting for them in his office.

Shaw wondered how that conversation had gone. Had Root introduced herself as… well, as herself, or as a potential student?

Shaw glanced at Root and saw her vibrating with energy. Root looked determined and ready to attack their book conundrum. Shaw did not feel as confident. They were skating on thin ice with this Iranian-AI connection. All they had was some barely viable information and Shaw didn’t even know Root’s full plan.

Were they going to turn Greer in? Were they going to chase after this code or magic? What did Root want with this book?

Shaw sighed and slowed to a stop behind Root. She had so many questions and very few answers. She watched Root knock on the professor’s door.

The door opened to reveal a short, plump man. He smiled and waved them in.

“Come in! Come in! Please!” He stepped aside to let them through.

Shaw peered around the office, trying to be inconspicuous. There were books everywhere. They were stuffed onto shelves, stacked on the floor, some even rested on the very old, very expensive looking statues placed around the room. Shaw was impressed. When she had thought about what kind of professor would hold the key to their book, his office had looked just like this.

Root clutched the book to her chest and smiled at the professor. “Professor Claypool?”

“Yes, yes!” He gestured for them to sit down and moved behind his desk. “Can I just say,” He started, gazing at Root, “You look just like your parents.”

Root’s eyes fluttered, but she grinned as she sat down. “That’s very kind of you, sir.”

“Oh, please, call me Arthur.”

“Ok, um, Arthur,” Root’s eyebrows furrowed, “Did my parents ever mention a book to you?”

“A book?” Arthur thought for a moment. “Perhaps.”

Shaw frowned as she dropped into a chair in front of the desk. This man seemed flighty. She glanced at Root and was unnerved to see that she was thinking the same thing. Shaw leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees.

“It would have been in Old Persian.”

“Oh, yes!” Arthur took his glasses off and placed them on the desk. “I remember! The cuneform Grimoire.”

“That’s it!” Root said excitedly, lowering the book into her lap. “What did they tell you about it?”

“They mentioned that it held valuable information about a project they were working on for the American Government. They said it was some sort of magic glossary or spell book.” He clasped his hands on the table. “I’ve heard about spell books like this. The ancient Greeks and Romans actually believed that magic originated from Mesopotamia and that the ancient Persians, now the Iranians, held the key to reaching forces beyond our understanding.”

Root stood up and placed the book in front of him. “We think this is it. The Grimoire. Do you think you could translate it?”

Arthur put his glasses back on, pulling the book towards himself with shaking hands. “Oh, my. This is indeed Old Persian.” He opened the book and sighed. “Well, I suppose I could, but it might take a while.” He smiled up at the girls. “Why don’t you two go explore a little bit while I work on this.”

Root hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable leaving that book with you. It’s really important.”

Shaw stood up. “Root, its fine. We can come back once an hour to check up on him.”

“But- “

“Root.” Shaw growled. “I am starving. We haven’t eaten in almost eight hours. I flew all the way to Norway with you, but if we don’t go eat something right now, I will kill you and find my own way back.”

Arthur looked between them. “I’d go with your friend, Root. She looks serious.”

Root sighed and nodded. She stood up and follow Shaw out the door. When they closed it, Root turned and glanced nervously at Shaw.

“You really think it’s ok to leave the book with him? If we lose it, we have nothing to go on.”

“It’ll be fine,” Shaw waved dismissively, starting to walk out of the building. “That guy is just some crazy academic.”

She kept walking and, after a moment, heard Root follow her.

They spent the next hour walking around the University of Oslo campus, discussing architecture. Eventually, they found the Museum of Cultural History. Shaw could tell that despite Root’s hyper focus on the mission, she wanted to go inside.

Shaw took Root’s hand and nodded to the building. “Come on, let’s go inside. We have an hour to kill anyway.”

Root gave a small smile and let Shaw drag her inside.

They walked around the whole museum and, slowly, Root relaxed. Shaw couldn’t help but feel like this was their first date. If there wasn’t the looming threat of magic and murder over their heads, anyway.

She let herself imagine what their life could be like in the future. Maybe they’d get an apartment somewhere, in a city. They could move to NYC and Shaw could be the one showing Root around. She would be a doctor and Root could work as a programmer. It would be comfortable. Root could be happy.

Shaw took a deep breath and a bite of her Bear Claw. They’d stumbled on a bakery just outside of campus and gotten some coffee and snacks. Shaw sat across the table from Root and watched her use her phone.

“Root?” Shaw asked.

Root looked up from her phone. “Yes?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Root sighed and pushed her hair over her shoulder. It had grown out since Root cut it in January and it curled slightly if she didn’t brush it. “I don’t know. I haven’t really planned for a future. I’m not sure where this Grimoire will take us. I never really thought about it.”

“Never?” Shaw asked, skeptical. “You’re a genius with a computer. You’re determined and strong. You could do anything you wanted to.”

Root shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t know.”

Shaw let the topic drop. This afternoon had been so fun that Shaw almost forgot they weren’t friends anymore. She glanced out the window, watching everyone walk by.

“Let’s go, Sameen. Time to check in.” Root stood and led the way out of the bakery.

They walked back to Professor Claypool’s office in silence. When they got back into the building, Shaw grabbed Root’s arm, making her stop.

“What do you expect, Root?” Shaw asked, dropping her arm. “What do you want out of this?”

Root shrugged. “I want to stop Greer. Or kill him. I want revenge for my parents. If this book is magic, maybe I can use it against him.”

“Use magic against Greer? You don’t think that, if it’s even real, that he wouldn’t already have it?”

Root shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. “I have to explore every avenue, Shaw. If this magic is fake after all, I’ll just shoot him.”

She turned and headed for Professor Claypool’s office. Shaw hesitated, then jogged to catch up. Root was willing to kill Greer? Shaw would call the police when they got back home. She had been willing to humor the trip to Norway to help Root find closure, but she was not about to allow Root to murder someone.

She walked through the open office door behind Root. Claypool had several thick books open on his desk and his office looked like someone had ransacked it. He looked up when they entered.

“Girls! You’re back! I’ve translated a couple of the riddles!” He grinned at them and waved them behind the desk. “Come look!”

“Riddles?” Shaw asked, confused. She looked over Claypool’s shoulder at the book. He had several pages tabbed. “What kind of riddles?”

“Well, I only translated a few, mostly the ones that seemed to jump out at me.” He flipped back to the first page. “This one is a pretty straightforward.”

Claypool had translated the page onto a piece of notebook paper. Root read it out loud.

“Release your sanguine treasure upon the ancient ledger. Sacrifice in whole every virtue you extol. Valor demands a sacrifice. Every magic has a price.”

Shaw scoffed. “You translated it from Old Persian and it rhymes in English?”

The professor shrugged, blushing. “Well, when you translate, you have some flexibility, especially with a language as old as this one. I may have made some choices for the sake of drama.”

“So, it’s wrong.” Shaw scowled.

“No, Sameen,” Root explained, “It’s correct. Arthur here just had a bit of fun with it.” She smiled at him. “I think this will be enough, Professor. Thank you for your help.”

Arthur nodded, but seemed reticent to let them take the book. “You sure you don’t want some more help? I could translate the rest.”

Root took the book from the desk and moved towards the door. “No, thank you. We’ll come back if we need anything else.”

“Alright!” He shrugged. “Say hi to your parents for me. I haven’t heard from them since their last letter came.”

Shaw watched Root stiffen and turn back to face the professor.

“I’m sorry? A letter?”

“Oh, yes.” Arthur opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a folder. “I kept all their letters. They were so kind, always sending news of you or of their progress with their magic serum.”

Shaw crossed her arms. “Magic serum?”

Arthur looked between the two girls, oblivious to the tension in the room. “Yes, they were originally working on a computer program to heighten the senses, but after a while, people who had been injected with the nanobots- you know, like the ones scientists are working on to destroy cancer cells?”

The girls nodded.

“Right, well these nanobots would add DNA strips to blood cells like a sort of code, to teach the human body to do…I don’t know exactly,” Arthur laughed. “I’m a language historian, a lot of this was over my head.”

“What were you saying about the people who were injected?” Root asked.

Shaw glanced back at her and noticed how wild Root’s eyes were. Shaw swallowed. Arthur was encouraging her down this crazy path and Shaw wanted to bring her back from it.

“We should just go.”

“No!” Root hissed at her. “We were just getting somewhere.”

Arthur looked between the girls. “Have I said too much?”

“No,” Root smiled sweetly at him. “Please continue. This is all so fascinating.”

“I know!” Arthur giggled as Shaw rolled her eyes. “Well, the people that were injected with the nanobots started displaying odd behavior. Increased strength, increased speed, manipulation of light and sound. Things like…they could bench press a car with their legs, move so quickly they were basically teleporting. Things like that.”

“So…” Shaw thought, “People started thinking they were magical?”

“No,” Root breathed, “They started having magic.”

“I don’t understand.” Shaw turned to Root. “They just developed magic?”

“My guess,” Arthur said, looking too excited for Shaw’s comfort, “is that the ones with Persian lineage tapped into something they weren’t expecting. Like their blood had been lying in wait, just needing that little extra push to unlock their ancient magical connections.”

“And what about everyone else?” Root asked. “Did my parents get magic?”

Arthur reached for a paper he’d pulled from the folder. “Your parents briefly mentioned some experiment they’d done with their boss, who was also white. They talked about some sort of blood ritual he’d made them try, but they only mentioned it this once. Then the letters went back to normal.”

Root held her hand out. “May I have that letter?”

“Sure,” Arthur handed it to her. “I’m sure you both are eager to get back home to Pennsylvania.”

“Pennsylvania?” Shaw repeated. “We live in- “

“Yes.” Root interrupted, glaring at Shaw. “We live just on the border between Pennsylvania and New York. Shaw likes to pretend we’re native New Yorkers.” She laughed, airily.

Arthur laughed with her. “I understand! I miss New York sometimes.”

Root smiled at him one last time and headed for the door. “Thank you, Professor.”

“My pleasure! I hope to hear from you soon!”

Shaw followed Root into the hall. “We’re going home now, right? Back to Connecticut, I mean. not Pennsylvania.”

“This letter from my parents say they moved to Pennsylvania to look for the Grimoire,” Root said, scanning the letter. “They lied to him.”

“Is that a recent letter?” Shaw asked. She knew what the answer was going to be, but she desperately hoped that it was proof Root’s parents were alive and this madness would be over.

“It’s from four years ago. Just before my 11th birthday.” Root folded the letter and tucked it into her pants’ pocket. “Come on, let’s find a motel to rent for the night.”

“The night?” Shaw ran ahead to cut Root off. “Root, we have to get home. The Ingrams are going to realize I’m missing and call the police. I’m not going to get adopted. We’re both going to go to Juvie and our lives will be over.”

Root’s face drew down into a scowl. “I have no life, Shaw. This is my future now. I’m going to get the magic. I am going to kill Greer. I am going to rid the world of anyone who has ever hurt someone else.”

“You’d kill me, Root?” Shaw asked, her voice soft. “I’m trying to make it up to you.”

Root’s eyes softened for a second, but her walls went back up. “Bad people deserved to be punished, Shaw. I’m sorry. You can stay with me now or you can leave. It’s up to you.”

Root pushed passed her and hailed a cab. Shaw stared at the sky and took a deep breath. Then quickly, before Root could shut the door, she slid into the taxi beside her.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Shaw paced across the floor in their motel room, feeling angry. The only emotion that came easily to her was anger and right now she was enraged. Root was jeopardizing their futures. Shaw was would never wish therapy on anyone, but Root wasn’t like her. Root could go to therapy and benefit from it.

She just had to let go of this crazy magic thing and move on with her life. Shaw hated that she’d been the cause of Root’s pain, but at some point, there was nothing she could do anymore, right?

Shaw glanced at Root. Root was sitting on the bed staring at the book. She’d repeated the riddle aloud almost twenty times, but didn’t seem to be making any progress. There was obviously blood involved, but how much and what did you do with it?

Shaw sighed and pulled out her phone, texting Lionel.

//hey i need a favor//

//wut//

//spend the night at harolds and tell angela im with you//

//why//

//I cant tell you//

//alright buy you owe me like 20 bucks//

//whatever//

Shaw stuffed her phone back in her pocket and growled.

“How long are we staying here? Can’t you figure out this riddle at home?”

Root glanced up at her and turned back to the book. “I want to be as prepared as possible before facing Greer, Sameen. Besides, Patience is a virtue.”

“If you do this ritual, you’ll lose all your patience. ‘Sacrifice in whole,’ remember?”

Root hummed. “You think it has to be my blood? That makes sense.”

“How does any of this make sense, Root?” Shaw threw her arms in the air. “You think you can just, what? Slit your wrists and you’ll get magic? I agreed to this to keep you from killing yourself, not to help you do it.”

“Huh,” Root slid off the bed onto the floor. She lay the book in front of her. “’Release your sanguine treasure upon the ancient ledger.’ You might be right.”

Shaw’s blood ran cold. She rushed to Root, slamming the book shut and backing across the room. “You are not cutting yourself open to chase after some magic, Root. We can call the police on Greer and you and I can work it out.”

Root stood, smiling sweetly. Shaw swallowed, her mouth dry. The crazy Root had disappeared. Root looked just like she did on Shaw’s birthday, happy and bright. Shaw knew it was a trick, but her heart still raced. She schooled her face and tried to wipe her slate.

“Sameen. It’s me. I know you’re scared. Well,” Root’s head tilted, “as scared as you can be. I’m here with you. We can go back home and finish high school.”

Shaw knew this was fake, but that’s what she wanted. She wanted to be with Root. She didn’t know how long it would last and how much she could give, but she was willing to try. She was so young and she just wanted Root.

Root stepped toward her, crossing the room, her eyes searching Shaw’s face. Shaw knew that despite her inner turmoil, her face gave nothing away. She couldn’t let Root know she was considering giving in.

Root stopped in front of her, raising a hand to cup Shaw’s cheek. Shaw looked up into her eyes and wondered when Root had gotten so tall. She swallowed again.

“Sameen. I love you, you know I do, I just need to finish this and we can be together.” Root ran her hand down Shaw’s shoulder, down her arm and took her hand.

Shaw let her take on arm off the book so they could clasp hands. Shaw licked her lips as Root dipped her head down. A loud click made her jump.

She looked at her hand. Root had handcuffed her to the radiator. While she was distracted, Root snatched the book from her other arm and crossed the room, back to the spot where she’d been kneeling.

“Root…” Shaw warned, tugging on the handcuffs. “Don’t do it, please.”

Root pulled her bag down to the floor and pulled out a switchblade she’d bought at the airport. She looked up at Shaw and smiled nervously. “I have to do this, Sameen. It’s the only way.”

“It’s not real!” Shaw cried, feeling what must be panic swell in her stomach. She put a foot on the radiator, tugging as hard as she could. “Root!”

Shaw glanced over her shoulder at Root. Root held her wrist out, the blade in the other hand. Shaw kept tugging on her handcuffs, unable to look away from Root.

Root took a deep breath and slit her wrist, letting the blood pour onto the book’s pages.

“ROOT!” Shaw screamed, turning back to her handcuffs. She took a second to think of a plan and started smashing her hand against the radiator. Every second this took was a second closer to Root dying.

Shaw finally felt a sharp pain in her thumb and lost sensation. She yanked her hand through the cuff, her broken thumb moving uselessly out of the way. Shaw turned to run to Root and froze.

The blood that had spilled from her wrist was flowing upstream, back into her body. Root was staring at the stream, her face glowing red in the light emanating from her blood. She glanced up at Shaw, grinning.

“It’s real?” Shaw whispered, frozen in place. “It’s real.”

When the last drop of blood slipped back into Root’s body, the book slammed shut. The silence in the room made Shaw’s ears ring.

“What now?” Shaw asked, her eyes adjusting to the now dark room.

“I don’t- “

Root’s head flung back, her mouth open in a soundless scream. Her body launched into the air, arms spread. Every visible inch of skin cracked like porcelain and the red light of her blood streamed through. Her hair floated in an invisible wind.

Shaw didn’t know what to do. She stepped closer, ready to catch Root if she fell. When she was a foot way, Root’s head snapped forward, staring at her with empty eyes. Shaw felt her eyes well up with tears, unable to control herself.

This is what she should have felt like when her parents died. This is what she should have felt like when that boy in middle school beat the shit out of her for kissing his sister. This is what she should have felt like when she impaled herself on the shovel. This is what she should have felt like when she left Root to kill herself months ago.

Shaw couldn’t tear herself away from Root’s eyes. Every emotion she should ever have felt ran through her and she dropped to her knees.

As soon as it had begun, it was gone. Root dropped to the floor, light and cracks gone from her skin. Shaw felt empty again. Empty, but so, so heavy. She dropped onto her hands and crawled her way to Root.

“Root?” She said, her voice raspy. Had she been screaming? “Root, please answer me.”

Root didn’t move, her face pressed into the floor. Shaw used all of her strength to roll Root onto her back, her thumb already healed. Root looked like she’d fallen into a peaceful rest. Shaw pressed a hand to her neck, sighing in relief when she felt Root’s pulse.

She was alive. They were alive. Shaw dropped onto her side, exhausted. She was going to take a nap and then they were going home.

“It’s real,” she whispered, as she succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank god we're out of Exposition Land. Time for some adventure!


	14. You Are Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty graphic, but next chapter is some good, old fashioned scavenger hunting!
> 
> warning: torture mention

When they landed back in Connecticut, Shaw checked the time. It was almost midnight. After everything that happened, Shaw couldn’t believe it was still the same day.

The plane ride back had been silent. Root had kept the book in her lap, but spent the whole flight staring at her hands. There was not even a scar where she’d almost killed herself. Shaw had let her process, staring out the window.

When they walked out of the airport, Root had given her a hundred dollar bill and slid into a taxi by herself, leaving Shaw behind. Shaw had no idea where Root was going, but she hoped it wasn’t to kill Greer. As much as Shaw was against that idea, if Root was going to do it, Shaw wanted to be there.

Shaw pulled out her phone to call Harold.

“Ms. Shaw? Where are you?”

Shaw sighed and stuck her hand out to hail a taxi. “I’m at the airport. Can I come over? I need to tell you guys something.”

“Of course! Lionel is already here.”

Shaw hung up and slid into her cab. She gave them the Ingrams’ address. She needed a shower.

When they got to her house, Shaw paid the taxi driver and ran into her house. She quickly showered, changed, and pack a bag. After some debate, she grabbed the gun from the nightstand, shoving it behind her back. She left the house and jumped into Angela’s car, speeding off to Harold’s.

Shaw hated that she was going to bring the boys into this, but they’d known Root for years. Maybe Harold and John would get through to her. They’d kept her from killing herself before; they could keep Root from killing Greer now.

Pulling into Harold’s driveway, Shaw threw the car into park. She grabbed her bag and entered the house.

“Boys?” she called, walking inside.

“Living Room!” John’s voice replied.

Shaw found them playing some racing game. She dropped her bag onto a couch and jerked her thumb over her shoulder.

“Lionel, out,” she ordered.

“What?” He paused the game. “You’re not the boss of me.”

“Lionel,” Shaw growled, “go to your guest room. I need to talk to John and Harold. Alone.”

Lionel tossed his controller away and stood, stomping off to their bedroom, grumbling under his breath.

Harold sighed. “I know he’s only a year younger than me, but sometimes it really shows.”

“What did you need to talk about, Shaw?” John asked.

Shaw sat on the couch next to her bag and did her best to explain the past 48 hours. Root’s cryptic secret, the double-wide, going to Norway, Root’s magic. It sounded crazy coming out of her mouth, but she was here and it was true. When she was done, the boys just stared at her.

“Ms. Shaw,” Harold started, “I know you’re not one for embellishment or fabrication, but magic? I can’t believe that’s real.”

“I know, Harold. Trust me. It sounds crazy, but I saw it.” She dropped her head into her hands. “I saw Root slit her wrist. I saw it go back in. I saw her cold, empty eyes and I…felt.” Shaw raised her head, taking a deep breath. “I need your help. Even if you don’t believe the magic, please believe the rest. Greer killed Root’s parents and now she’s going to kill him.”

John shrugged, turning to Harold. “We promised to always be on Root’s side. We should honor that. Help keep her out of trouble.”

Harold’s leg bounced nervously. “What are we supposed to do?”

“Good question, Harry.”

The friends jumped. Root was standing beside Shaw. Shaw closed her eyes and calmed herself.

“You can teleport?” Harold asked, staring at Root with an open mouth.

“Yes, Harry,” Root said, smiling. “I’ve only had an hour, so my control still needs work, but oh well. There is no time to waste.”

Shaw stood, her brow drawn down. “You don’t have to do this, Root. You don’t have to kill Greer.”

Root’s face slipped into a naked rage, but in a blink it was gone. Shaw swallowed, reminding herself that Root’s virtue was leaving her. That she was going to lose her humanity.

Root turned to John. “You should pack your guns. You and Shaw will need them. Harold, bring your computer.”

The boys looked at Shaw and she nodded to them. She felt like she’d somehow become second in command of this mission. John left the house, running home to pack his guns. Harold left down the hall to his room.

Root turned to Shaw. “I appreciate that you convinced them to help me, Sameen. I don’t like involving them, but we’re only two people.”

“They love you, Root. They’d follow you to the end of the world.”

“And you?” Root asked, searching Shaw’s eyes.

Shaw smiled. “I’d follow you, too.”

Root frowned and turned away. Shaw felt like she’d said something wrong. She sighed and looked down the hall. She should have said she loved Root, but she didn’t know if that was true. She could have loved Root before, given a few years. Now? Would they live long enough to learn to love each other?

John walked back into the house. “I put them in the backseat. I assume we’re taking Angela’s car?”

“Yeah,” Shaw muttered. “We are. They owe me that much.”

Harold came back into the room with an overnight bag. “I’m ready.”

Root nodded. “Let’s go, then.”

“You guys go ahead. I’m going to talk to Lionel,” Shaw said, jogging down the hall. “Lionel?” she called.

There was no response. Shaw rolled her eyes and yelled down the hall. ”We’re going out of town. Just tell Harold’s parents it was a school trip or something. I’ll leave 40 bucks on the table for you.”

She went back to the living room and left the money for Lionel. Shaw grabbed her bag and headed for the car, adjusting the gun at her back. She slid her bag under the covered bed and got into the driver’s seat.

She glanced at Root. “Can’t you drive now? With your powers?”

Root smiled. “I know how much you love driving, Sameen. I wouldn’t take that away.” She stared at her hands. “Besides, I need to practice my magic.”

Shaw rolled her eyes and buckled her seatbelt. “Where to?”

“West Point.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“Pull in over there,” Root instructed 2 hours later, pointing to a small shack in the woods.

She’d figured out where Greer was hiding during their time in Norway. She and Harold had spent the last 30 minutes hacking into West Point’s servers, using Harold’s mobile Hot Spot. They were trying to find any data on Greer, but their computer system was harder to crack than she expected. They’d decided that they had to break into West Point and get the files from the source.

When Shaw put the car in park, she turned to look at Root.

“Do you have a plan?”

Root rolled her eyes. Of course, she had a plan. “I’m going to find Greer. Shaw, you take John and Harold and find an access point to get those files.”

“I’m not letting you go in alone,” Shaw argued.

“You don’t have a choice,” Root said. “Now, take the guns and go get those files.”

Root opened the car door and stepped down. She was fairly confident in her teleporting. If she only went in small jumps, she would be ok. Root squinted into the woods, trying to find a spot she could teleport to.

She felt a hand on her arm and looked to her right. It was Harold.

“Try and be safe, Root. We care about you and we’ll be worried.”

Root smiled at him. She knew he and John cared about her and wanted her to be happy. They’d agreed a lot faster than Shaw had. They were real friends.

“Thank you, Harry. Make sure these two point their guns in the right direction, ok?”

“Hey,” John said, offended, “I’ve been shooting guns for years! It’s Shaw you’ve got to be worried about.”

You were not worried about her. You knew of what she was capable.

Root blinked, disoriented. She quickly smiled, hiding it from the others. “Just be safe.”

Root looked back into the woods and teleported 400 feet ahead. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the boys start toward the building. Shaw met her eyes. Root swallowed and nodded at her. Shaw followed the boys away.

Root turned back towards her goal. She was here to kill Greer.

She made good time, arriving at the front doors to the computer building in minutes. She decided to test her powers. Could see she how many people were in the building?

Root closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to find what was inside of her. She felt her heart beat.

You know how many people are inside. There are 30 men standing guard, 15 men sitting at computers. There is a woman standing in front of a gate and an older man beside her. They are waiting for you.

You reach for the 45 men and render them unconscious. The man and the woman wait for you.

Quickly, you bring yourself to them. They do not blink when you come into existence feet from them. The man is like you. The woman is mortal. You look at this woman and frown. She is familiar to you.

McCarthy. Root tells you. Elaine McCarthy, a nurse. She gave Sameen an internship. You aren’t sure what an internship is, but you know what this means. Sameen was in danger, just like Root. You take a deep breath and speak to this man who has killed your parents.

“I’ve come for you.”

“I know,” The Man replies. Greer, Root tells you. “I’ve been expecting you, Ms. Groves.”

“I’ve come to kill you. To revenge my parents.”

The McCarthy woman glances at your Greer. She is surprised. She does not know that he murdered your parents in cold blood. Greer does not look at her. He looks at you.

“I know why you’re here,” he says, calm. “You can’t kill me. You’re not capable.”

Root worries if she can do it. You can do it. You reach into yourself to your pit of anger and fire and destruction. It is wild. It is ready.

Before you can act, Greer lifts his hand.

Root felt like someone was choking her. She couldn’t breathe. Greer smiled at her, calmly, like it was two years ago and he was explaining what rDNA was.

“Ms. Groves, I’m sorry to have to do this, but I am in need of a book that you possess. If you don’t tell me where it is, you force me to give you to Control.”

Root’s eyes flick to Elaine. The kind demeaner she’d had at the hospital was gone. Root licked her lips and tried to breathe. Who was this woman?

“I…I don’t have it,” Root lied. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb, dear. I can feel your power. I know you’ve done the ritual and that means you have the book.” Greer’s smiled stayed glued to his face as Root struggled to breathe. “Such a pity. I was hoping to recruit you, you know? You’ve got such a strong mind. So clouded with darkness.”

“I would never work for you,” Root spat.

“Really?” Greer said, raising his eyebrows. He took a couple steps toward her. “I thought you wanted to help people, Ms. Groves. Well, I help people. I take the good ones, the best ones, I give them power beyond their wildest dreams. All I ask for in exchange is total devotion. Devotion to me and Devotion to the Power.”

Root felt herself slowly lift off the ground, the force choking her tightening. “I would never be devout to a murderer.”

“Ms. Groves, I do believe that your anger is clouding your judgement. Do you worry for your friends?”

Root’s eyes widened. They had to be ok. “They’ll be fine.”

“Yes, yes, Ms. Groves. They will not die tonight.” Greer said, pacing idly. “You do plan to kill those who deserve it, do you not? With your new found powers?”

He glanced at Nurse McCarthy. Control. She nodded.

“Yes, I thought so. What would you do if I told you that John killed someone tonight?” Greer asked, sounding like he was mentioning the weather. “His shaking hands forgot to take the safety off the first time, but he got his bearing and shot a man in the chest.” Greer looked up at Root. “John’s never killed anything before, not even a deer, yet he killed a man for you tonight. Does that make him the monster? Or you?”

Root panicked, her already thready breathing becoming harder. “He would never.”

“Really? What if the person he shot had planned on shooting Harold? Would your friend take a life to save a life?” Greer looked away. “Yes, good and bad is not so clear cut. You’ll have a hard time distinguishing, I think. I could help you.”

Root spat on the floor. “Let me go.”

“What about your dear Sameen?” Greer asked, watching Root’s eyes fill with fear. “Yes, I know about your love for the Persian. Well,” he smiled, “the love you had before she abandoned you.”

Root refused to cry. She hung in the air, her arms limp at her sides. Coming here had been a mistake. She wasn’t ready. She closed her eyes. Sameen had been right.

“She sent you letters you know,” Greer’s voice floated up to her.

She opened her eyes. “I know,” She said through gritted teeth.

“Yes, I stopped all of them from reaching you. The calls as well.” He waved his hand. “I couldn’t have you forgiving her. I needed you angry. Full of righteous passion.”

Root stared down at him, cursing herself. He had does this to her. She’d played right into his trap. He was going to kill her and Sameen.

You don’t like being trapped in a corner. You ruled all of Asia once and now you are held by the throat. You pick at the invisible fingers hoisting you in the air.

“Play nice, Ms. Groves. Control has been healing people recently and she’s chomping at the bit to cause a little pain.”

“You can’t hurt me,” Root’s voice echoed. “My body may be young, but I am infinite.”

“Yes, yes, you’re an ancient god, I know.” Greer clasped his hands behind his back. “We have all found ways to harness our anger, Ms. Groves. Unfortunately, your feelings get the best of you. That which gives us power can also hurt us.”

Greer sighed and headed for the exit. “I’m giving you to Control, Ms. Groves. She will get the location of the book out of you. See you at our next meeting.”

He walked out of the room. When the door clicked shut, Root fell to the ground.

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Root jerked awake. She was in terrible pain. Her hands were bound behind her back and she was tied down to a chair. Root looked around, she was in some sort of cage. She tugged at her hands, but there was no use. She was trapped.

She couldn’t feel her magic anymore. It was gone. What was she going to do?

The confidence she’d felt coming back from Norway was gone and she felt so, so small. Root started to cry, scared. She’d dragged her friends into this. How had it gotten so out of control?

She missed Sameen. She missed her boys. She missed her parents.

When Sameen had left her, she’d run home immediately, determined to kill herself and get it over with. No one needed her and no one loved her. She’d spent hours in the bathroom, holding an old bottle of her mother’s anxiety medication. Her mother had a nervous condition, always shaking, always jumpy.

Root tried to remember them. She had fought with them the last time they were home. She was so mad that they’d just left her after her birthday. They’d made her a cake and promised her they would stay for a while. The next day, they’d packed their bags and left. Root felt so worthless every time they left. She’d begged them to take her, too, but they’d shaken their heads and left.

Hanna had always made her feel so special. Just two girls in love, looking to the future. Hanna had encouraged Root to do robotics and make friends with John and Harold. They would stay up late riding their bikes and playing Mario Kart. Harold was so good at Mario Kart.

Root sobbed, bent over as far as she could.

Hanna had died and Root was ready to follow. She couldn’t do robotics with Hanna. She couldn’t make friends without Hanna. Harold and John had been there for her and stood up to Hersch when he’d bullied her. Shaw remembered the 1st place ribbon Harold and John had made her the first time she’d stood up for herself.

They were always there for her. There to back her up when she needed help. Sameen had told them all about Root’s summer and what she’d found and they’d immediately stepped up to the plate. They were her best friends.

And Sameen. Root’s heart clenched. Sameen had almost killed her, but Root knew it wasn’t her fault. Sameen tried so hard to be what Root needed, she couldn’t see that all Root needed was her. She just needed a friend and maybe a girlfriend. Sameen could have been that.

Root felt her heart slow and took a deep breath. Root hated Sameen. She hated her for teasing her, for hurting her, for coming back. Root would have been fine if they’d never met. She would have been fine if Sameen had just stayed away or stayed with her. The constant back and forth of friends or enemies made Root want to tear her heart out.

How dare Shaw play her like that. How dare Shaw come back into her life and try to support her. Root hated her with all her heart. Root wanted to kill her. When they were done with this mission, when she’d avenged her parents, Root was going to avenge herself and destroy Sameen Shaw.

“Well,” a voice spoke, making Root’s head jerk up, “I normally don’t torture children, but this is a special circumstance.”

Control stood inside the cage, holding a scalpel.

“Do you know what this is?” Control gestured to the cage around them. When Root shook her head, she sighed. “It’s a magical Faraday cage. Normally, Faraday cages keep signals trapped inside, but for this cage, we used Iron. Copper takes keeps signal in and Iron keeps magic out. As long as we’re in here, you have no power.”

Root swallowed. She wished she was back at school and the scariest thing she had to deal with was PhysEd. “I can’t give you the book.”

“We’ll see, Ms. Groves,” Control smirked. She rolled a small chair to sit beside Root. “I’m going to start with your small bones. Cochlear bones, then your metacarpals, then your vertebrae. We’ll get there.”

Root squeezed her eyes shut and wished her friends were here. She was going to die or give in and they were probably waiting in the car.

“Just do it,” Root whispered, knowing she wouldn’t last long.

“I’m glad to see you’re participating,” Control said, dryly.

Root braced herself for the pain, but it was like nothing she’d ever experienced. She screamed as Control dug into the side of her head. Her vision went white with pain.

“Please. Please. Please.” Root whispered like a prayer. She was in over her head. Why had she done this? “Please stop.”

Control removed the scalpel from Root’s head, but the pain didn’t end. Control held a hand in front of Root’s face, a small bone resting in her hand. Root stared at it, not fully understanding what it was.

She felt Control stand jumped. Control moved around her back and leaned down to speak into Root’s left year.

“I’m sorry, Root. I forgot that you were deaf in your right ear.”

“What?” Root asked, panting from the pain, her voice scratchy. “I’m not?”

Control held her hand out again, showing Root the bone. “This is your Cochlear bone, do you know what that is?”

Root tried to shake her head, but almost blacked out. “No,” she rasped.

“It’s the bone in your ear that helps you hear. You see vibrations run along it and go to your brain. That’s what sound is. Without it,” Control shrugged, “You’re deaf.”

Root gasped, unable to concentrate on what Control was telling her. She was deaf in one ear now? Root’s eyes stung from sweat and tears. Maybe she should just tell Control where the book was and let this all go. She would be fine. She’d just go back to school and work it out. She and Sameen could…

Root’s jaw clenched. No. She was not going to forgive Sameen.

“Are you ready to lose your hearing in the other ear, Ms. Groves?” Control asked.

Root’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ll tell you where it is. Please, just stop hurting me.”

“Root!” Sameen’s voice pierced through Root’s thoughts.

She looked up. John and Shaw were standing inside the room, a few feet from the gate. Blood was sprayed across John’s clothing. Root gasped. Greer hadn’t lied. John had shot someone.

She looked at Shaw. Her knuckles were bleeding and she had a large swipe of blood across her forehead. They were panting like they’d run a marathon.

“Root, are you alright?” Shaw asked, stepping forward. She glanced at Control. “Elaine?”

“Leave! Both of you!” Root cried, straining against her bonds. “She’ll kill you.”

“We’re not going to leave you here, Root,” John said, his voice cold.

“How sweet,” Control said, stepping to the door of the gate, “The witch’s little friends come to save her.”

There was a loud bang and Control screamed. Root stared at her as she slid to floor. Root looked up at John and Shaw, both with guns raised.

“You killed her,” Root said, her head pounding.

Shaw ran to the cage, opening it, as John turned to face the exit, gun raised. Shaw ran behind Root and undid the ropes keeping her in place. She helped Root stand.

“Come on, Root. Let’s go.”

Root yanked her arm out of Shaw’s grasp, somehow staying upright. “Don’t ever touch me,” She hissed.

Shaw stared at her, her face blank. After a second, she nodded and walked out of the cage.

“John, you’ll have to carry her,” Shaw muttered raising her gun and taking John’s place as guard.

John glanced at her, but turned and moved to Root. “I can just pick you up? Or do you want to try to walk.”

Root wrapped herself with shaking arms. “I don’t think I’ll be conscious much longer. Just carry me.”

John nodded and slipped his arms around her waist and behind her legs. He carefully carried her out of the cage. When they’d slipped past the Iron, Root felt herself start to heal and idly wondered if her bone would grow back. That might be too much luck.

They walked out of building, John’s arms tight around her, Shaw’s gun leading the way.

Root opened her mouth to ask about Harold and the files, but a wave of nausea overcame her. She closed her eyes and let the rhythm of John’s steps lull her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Root, so many emotions for a 15 year old and who is You?


	15. Lionel, Magic, Riddles, Lionel again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I had a burst of self-doubt, but after some positive reinforcement, here's the next chapter!
> 
> Also, more than 50,000 words! This is my longest fic ever!

Shaw stared at the gun in front of her. They’d made it back to the cabin and decided to let Root sleep for a while. Shaw had cleaned Root’s ear and patched it up with their limited supplies. Now, they just had to wait for Root to wake up.

 

“I still think we should just take her home,” Harold said, looking through the cabin’s fridge. “She’ll be better taken care of there.”

“By who, Harold?” John asked. “By us? By the hospital? We can’t trust them.”

Harold sighed and shut the fridge. “Well, there’s no food here.”

Shaw picked her gun up and slid it into the holster at her hip. “Just pretend we’re stuck on I-95 again.”

The boys laughed. John clicked his gun shut. “Man, I have never had to pee so much in my life. I thought I was going to explode.”

“And Root just handed you her empty soda bottle and told you she wouldn’t look,” Shaw smirked, leaning back in her chair. “By the way, she looked.”

“I know it,” John laughed. He flexed his arm. “Even lesbians can’t resist this.”

“Gross,” Shaw gagged, making the boys laugh. “I don’t know how Joss puts up with that.”

John just shrugged. “She’s pretty amazing.”

Shaw reached into her pocket and pulled out her Tamagotchi. She played with it, feeding the little creature. She’d taken good care of it, never killing it. She couldn’t keep a fish alive for longer than a week, but this little thing was easy.

“I brought mine, too,” John said, pulling his out. “I’ve killed it like 10 times, but I try.”

Harold smiled. “Mine is in the bedroom, but I made a phone app to keep it cared for.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s cheating.” Shaw scowled. “You boys are so bad about that.”

They heard a cough from Root’s bedroom and all stood. Shaw hung back at the table while the boys went in. She could hear them speaking in muffled voices and swallowed. Shaw was beginning to feel like she’d failed. She’d come back to make up with Root and be with her, but Root wouldn’t even look at her.

John walked out of the bedroom. “Come on, let’s go get some food from the store.”

Shaw nodded and followed him out of the cabin. They got into the car and sat in silence for a moment. John brought up a map to find a grocery store. Shaw put her key in the ignition.

“I was trying, you know,” Shaw said, quietly. “I was trying to love her. I would have tried until I couldn’t anymore, but I thought I was leaving and wanted Root to be able to move on.”

“I know,” John sighed. “We should have stayed during the summer. If we’d been there, she would never have gone down this rabbit hole.”

Shaw started the car, following John’s directions to the highway. “If we get home soon, we can still try out for soccer again. We’ll be friends this year, so we can practice together.”

“Yeah,” John agreed. “What would you be for Halloween?”

“I don’t normally dress up,” Shaw said, changing lanes. “I’d probably do some dumb couples costume with Root. She seems the type.”

“Oh, she is,” John joked. “One year, she and Hanna were ketchup and mustard. Bear was a hot dog.”

“That’s so stupid,” Shaw scoffed. She would do it for Root, though. “Are we close?”

“Next left,” John directed.

Shaw took the exit and turned into the grocery store parking lot. She hit a speed bump and heard a groan. She glanced at John, but he was frowning at her. He’d heard it to. Shaw slid into a parking spot. She and John pulled their guns out and slowly made their way to the back of the truck.

Shaw raised her gun and nodded to John to remove the cover.

“Lionel?” Shaw asked, jerking her gun down. “What the fuck?”

Lionel climbed out of the truck, looking guilty. John lowered the cover and put his gun away.

“I wanted to play DnD with you guys. Then I fell asleep.” Lionel looked around. “Hey, where are we?”

“This isn’t a game!” Shaw shouted. She glanced around the parking lot and lowered her voice. “You have to go home, right now.”

“Well, can you drop me off? I don’t know this town yet.”

Shaw pinched her nose. Lionel had no idea what he’d gotten himself into. “Ok, look. I’m going to give you some money for a bus ride and you’ll go home.”

“No!” Lionel protested. “I’m good in a though situation. I can shoot a gun and I’ve got great detective skills. I’m going to be a cop like my father.”

Shaw sighed and looked at John, who shrugged. “Fine,” She bit, “But you stay in the bed. Root can’t know you’re here.”

She slid her gun into the holster and started for the store.

“What, has your girlfriend really gone nutty?” Lionel asked. “She did seem to have a few screws loose last time I saw her. Real cocoa puffs type.”

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Shaw woke at dawn and groaned. She’d slept in a chair, holding her gun. She felt eyes on her and looked to her left. Root was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, staring at her with dark eyes. Root’s face was void of emotion and Shaw knew that hers was, too. The expression seemed wrong on Root’s face and Shaw had to look away.

Shaw sighed and slid her gun into the holster as she stood and stretched. She had been up most of the night, trying to understand her muted feelings and decide what to do. Root had failed to kill Greer, so she’d probably want to go home. Shaw would let her set the pace and decide if they’d be together or not.

“Good morning, Ms. Shaw,” Harold said, scooting around root and entering the living room. John followed him out. “Do you know how long it will take us to get home?”

“We’re not going home, Harry.” Root leaned against the doorjamb, looking relaxed. “We’re going to find the Runestone.”

“Runestone?” John asked. “Like the video game?”

“That’s Runescape,” Harold corrected. “A runestone is a large rock with runic carvings on it. They’re usually in Sweden and Norway.”

Shaw glanced at Root and met her eyes. “How do you know about the stone?”

“I listen to voices larger than us now, Shaw.”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “Great. Voices.”

“When we find the Runestone, we’ll find the Eye of Lapis Lazuli.” Root headed for the door. “Let’s go.”

The boys followed her out. Shaw lagged behind, running to the kitchen and grabbing the large bag of Trail Mix she’d bought last night. She may have to play along, but she didn’t have to starve.

She slid into the front seat and dropped the bag between them. Shaw glanced in the rearview mirror and hoped Lionel was in the back. She couldn’t check on him without giving him away.

“Where to, boss?” She asked, looking at Root.

Root looked back at her. After a second, her eyes swirled red. “West.”

“Vague, but ok.” Shaw started the engine.

They drove in silence for hours, Shaw growing increasingly twitchy. The rolling countryside was nice, but not distraction enough.

“Someone entertain me,” Shaw demanded, scowling.

“I spy with my little eye…” Harold’s voice floated from the backseat, “Something…yellow.”

“Corn.” John and Shaw answered at the same time and laughed.

“I’m sorry,” Harold snorted, “We’re not exactly surrounded by stimuli.”

“I’ll go,” John smirked. “I spy something…red.”

Shaw glanced around, ignoring Root’s piercing gaze. Red…Red…oh. “Is it that giant ‘God is Real’ Sign? Yikes.” She slowed as they passed a large billboard, faded from the sun. It looked ominous.

“There is nothing out here, Jesus.” Shaw shifted in her seat, settling in. “I mean, we’re in Pennsylvania. There’s got to be something besides corn and God.”

“Only corn and God,” John joked. “Also, witches.”

“Witches?” Harold asked. “In Pennsylvania?”

John shrugged. “In the middle of nowhere like this?” He gestured to the miles and miles of corn in every direction. “Probably.”

Shaw glanced at Root, who had moved to look out the window. Shaw remembered their camping trip last April. It was their first kiss. Shaw wished she hadn’t run away. So much wasted time.

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They drove for another eight hours, finally pulling up to a Motel around eleven. They’d made it to central Ohio. Fostoria Motel flashed above the vacancy sign. John and Harold ran inside to book a room and Shaw waited in the car with Root. And Lionel.

The boys walked out of the main office and the girls stepped out of the car.

“They gave us two double beds.” John said, leading them into room 4A. “So, that’s nice.”

Shaw yawned and gestured for Root to go in first. She entered the room last, locking the door behind her. She looked around at the room. This was the seedy motel she’d been thinking about when she’d suggested going to Disney World on Root’s parents dime.

John looked at the two beds. “Harold and I can share a bed and Root and Shaw can take the other.”

Shaw glanced at Root, almost expecting her to say something, but Root just nodded. It seemed she’d calmed down a little.

Root dropped the Grimoire on the bed. “I’m going to go out and scout. Don’t touch the book.” Root left the room.

Shaw sighed and threw her bag on the bed. “I hate to say it, but Evil Root is kind of hot.”

John and Harold laughed. John ran a hand over his face.

“She sounds a lot like you,” he said. “Maybe after this you’ll get each other a little more.”

Shaw just shrugged and settled onto the bed. She looked at the book and pulled it toward her. She was the one who’d found it, after all, and she was actually Persian. The book was more hers than Root’s.

“Ms. Shaw, should you be looking at that? Harold asked, watching Shaw flip through the pages.

“Relax, Harold. Root doesn’t have to know.”

Shaw stopped on a page that Professor Claypool had translated. She read the page aloud.

“’To find the Eye. In the land where the fountain lies, centered in Blue Mountain skies, lies the Holder’s Long Lost Friend, met with witches untimely end. Follow those who followed God. Rose Compass Talisman façade.”

Harold frowned over her shoulder. “…the fountain. The fountain of youth? That’s America/”

“How would Ancient Persians know about Ponce De Leon?” John asked.

“Well, Nostradamus predicted 9/11, didn’t he?”

“Yes, Ms. Shaw,” Harold confirmed. “There are wise forces in the Universe.”

Shaw frowned at the riddle. “Follow those who followed God. Pilgrims?”

“I’m not so sure,” Harold said moving to his bag. He pulled out his laptop. “Compass Rose Talisman. Why does that ring a bell?”

Harold typed into his computer for a minute. John stood and moved to the window, peering out. He stiffened.

“Close the book. Root’s back and she’s got Lionel.”

Shaw scrambled to her feet, but Root pushed open the door and caught her with the book in her hands.

“Sameen,” Root said, sweetly, “I thought you promised never to betray me again.” She jerked Lionel in front of herself, her knuckles white around his arm. “Not only did you hide your brother from me, but you’re also holding my book.”

Shaw swallowed, but stood her ground. “I’m the one who owns this book. It’s my birthright.”

“I’m sorry,” Root said, small cracks appearing around her eyes, red light shining through. “I didn’t realize you were the one avenging your parents.”

“I’m helping my people,” Shaw said, decisively, “From you.”

“The Ancient Persians are dead.”

“My people, Root.” Shaw said, her voice cold. “Harold, John, Lionel.”

“I’m not your people, Sameen?” Root asked, pouting.

“I don’t think so, Root,” Shaw’s hands clenched around the book. “Not like this. Let this go, let Lionel go, and we can figure it out.”

“People are bad, Sameen,” Root sighed, “And they deserve to be punished.”

She lifted her free hand, the tip of her index finger glowing like molten steel. Root moved the finger to hover next to Lionel’s ear. Shaw dropped the book onto the bed, raising her hands in surrender.

“Hurt me, Root,” Shaw offered. “Let him go. He’s just a kid.”

“We’re all kids!” Root screamed. “We all deserve families and happiness and a fucking childhood! I should be worrying about Chem tests or picking an extracurricular. You and I should be in love.”

“We can be, Root,” Shaw said, lowering her voice. “We can still be in love.”

Root scowled and pressed her finger to Lionel’s ear, making him scream.

Shaw’s hands clenched into fists and a force shot from her chest, knocking Root through the open door. Lionel ran behind Shaw, staring out the door. That force felt the same as the one that had knocked off her feet 3 days ago. God, was it only 3 days ago?

“Shaw…” John said, his gun in his shaking hands. “What did you do?”

“I…” Shaw lowered her clenched hands. “I don’t know.”

Root appeared back in the doorway, wiping blood from her already healed lip. “Well, look at that. You do have magic in you.”

Shaw nodded dumbly. “I guess so.”

Root stalked forward, her eyes swirling red. “Are you going to challenge me? She asked, stepping into Shaw’s space.

“I might,” Shaw said, her face a mask of icy rage. “What are you going to do about it.”

Root’s hand shot forward, pushing into Shaw’s stomach. Shaw grabbed her wrist to push her away, but she was too strong and her hand broke skin, reopening Shaw’s shovel injury.

Shaw’s stomach burned hot with pain and she felt her eyes roll back in her head. She collapsed, feeling strong arms catching her as the world turned black.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Shaw walked out of the bathroom, toweling her hair. Once she’d woken up, she’d found out that Root had left and taken the car, so she’d taken the time to shower and bandage herself. 

Now, she wandered back into the room, wearing one of John’s T-shirts. It came down to mid-thigh.

“Still waiting on that growth spurt, Cranky?” Lionel asked, holding back a smile. “Use some of that fancy magic you got.”

Shaw scowled and threw her towel at his face, wincing as her stomach injury stretched. She sat on her bed and glanced at her phone. 1AM.

“Any progress on that riddle, Harold?” Shaw asked, reaching behind herself to braid her hair, ignoring her stomach pain. If she didn’t tie it back, it would tangle in her sleep.

“I think I’ve mostly figured it out. ‘Compass Rose Talisman,’ That’s the Pennsylvania Dutch. They’re into witchcraft and are very religious.”

“Hence ‘Follow those who followed God.’” John threw out.

“Yes.” Harold adjusted his glasses. “’Centered in Blue Mountain Skies.’”

“I figured this out,” Lionel said, smug. “York County, PA. They’re in the center of the Blue Mountains. We just took a quiz on mountains in the US in Geography.”

“Good for you.” Shaw rolled her eyes, tying her braid off. She fell onto her back on the bed. “So, what about the ‘Long Lost Friend?’”

“It’s a Grimoire!” Harold said, enthusiastic. “I found record of a crime in The Gettysburg Times from 1928. Reyhemer, a man who owned the Long Lost Friend, was killed by a jealous man. They didn’t find the book, but it was a big crime at the time.”

“So, the Runestone is where he died?”

“Hex Hollow, York County, Pennsylvania.” John said, clicking the magazine into his gun. “Reyhemer’s house still stands.”

“Wow,” Shaw said, thoughtfully, staring at the dirty ceiling. “An address from a book written thousands of years ago. Maybe there really is a UFO painted into the Mona Lisa.”

The boys laughed and Shaw rolled over, crawling to the head of the bed. She pulled the covers up over herself.

“Ok, boys,” She said, turned the lamp next to her off, “I’m taking a nap. When we wake up, we can catch a bus back to Pennsylvania.” She turned to Lionel. “If you lay one single finger on me in the night, you will lose them all.”

Lionel nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be impressed with the riddle and the meaning haha I did so much research for this! Ask me about the Pennsylvania Dutch! Ask me about AMERICAN WITCHES!
> 
> Also, My next fic is def gonna be a soulmate AU/Midwestern Gothic. Think Root with guns, cowboy hats, and her soulmate, Ghost!Shaw.


	16. The Eye of The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few more chapters left!  
> Thanks to everyone who's followed me down this weird road! I promise my next few fics will be less...whatever this is

Shaw closed her eyes and dropped her head back onto the seat. Lionel had spent the last 3 hours explaining the plot of every single episode of Cagney and Lacey. She'd made the mistake of asking him what his favorite cop show was. She tried to tune him out as he started in on the next episode.

They'd woken up around 8 that morning, hoping to make it to Hex Hollow before sundown. It had proved trickier than they'd expected, though. Shaw had gotten a ticket without a problem, but because Harold, John, and Lionel fell in the 13-15 age range, they'd had to pay someone to act as the adult dropping them off. Luckily, they'd gotten through without a problem, but they were all on high alert after that.

They'd taken a taxi to Columbus and caught an Amtrack to Harrisburg, finally making it there around 3 O'clock. Now, they were on a bus to Winterstown, the closest they could get to Hex Hollow by public transportation.

Hopefully, they could get to the Runestone before Root. Shaw wasn't sure what they were going to do, but maybe they could convince Root to stop this craziness. Shaw sighed. It was seeming less and less possible to stop Root and go back home. Whatever nanobots had affected Root's parents and given them this power, had obviously been passed on to Root. Could she ever overcome her AI-fueled magic craziness?

Shaw just wanted to do normal things. She could appreciate having fun, even if she didn't have feelings. She wanted to tease Reese about his prom tux and have a graduation party at Harold's. She wanted to go to med school. She wanted to be with Root. The old Root.

Shaw had thought about abandoning this mission. Just leaving Root to have her revenge and going back home. Forgetting about trying to stop her. Was there really a point now? John had killed somebody back at West Point. Whatever innocence they were trying to protect in Root was slowly leaving the rest of them. Shaw knew she could handle being a bad person. Root couldn't.

Shaw opened her eyes and looked over at Lionel. He'd realized she wasn't paying attention and pulled his phone out, opting to play Fruit Ninja instead of talk to himself. Shaw shifted in her seat, bringing her knees onto the chair to look over the back at John and Harold.

She glanced down at them. "Hey, nerds. What are you doing? I'm dying here."

John glanced up at her. "Honestly, nothing. I'm working on my focus."

"Way to be pretentious, John." Shaw turned to Harold, who was typing on his computer. "What about you?"

"I'm working on the English paper that's due on Monday," He answered, not looking up from his computer.

"Seriously?" Shaw rolled her eyes. "You guys are the worst." She turned and dropped back into her seat.

The bus slowed down as they drove into Winterstown. Shaw glanced out the window past Lionel. There wasn't too much here. The houses were small, but very pretty. Shaw stood as the bus stopped and reached into the overhead bin. She tossed Lionel her bag and headed for the exit.

She and the boys were the only ones on the bus, so Shaw just nodded at the dead-eyed bus driver and stepped into the August heat. She turned and pulled her sunglasses out of her bag, glad she had worn shorts.

They all stared out into the cornfields. Shaw wondered what could be out here. Part of her wanted to say 'fuck this' and go back to Connecticut. Even if she'd ruined her life by running away, at least she'd ruined it where there was civilization. And sidewalks.

"It is hot," John said, adjusting the pack on his shoulder.

"We gotta walk to this place?" Lionel asked, swinging her bag onto his back. "It's too fucking hot for that."

Shaw just rolled her eyes and looked at Harold. "Directions?"

"West," he answered, looking at his phone and pointing to a vast expanse of corn. "That way."

Shaw eyed the fields warily, but started walking. "This is going to fucking suck."

They walked for an hour or so before taking a break. Shaw's shirt was soaked through with sweat, so she pulled it over her head, groaning as her wound pulled open again. Her fast healing was doing its best, but she wasn't really giving it the chance to help her. She glanced down at her bandage and watched a dot of blood appear.

"Great," she mumbled, "Sweaty and bleeding."

Lionel sat on the ground heavily, almost disappearing into the corn. "Who knew corn was so goddamn itchy?"

"It does have a scratchy texture," Harold observed, shifting his pack. "I think we're almost there, though."

"Why are we even getting this stone thing anyway?" Lionel asked, opening Shaw's bag to grab some Trail Mix. "Should we just let Nutella get it?"

"No." Shaw sighed and put her hands on her knees, trying unsuccessfully to cool off. "She's already crazy with power and I think it's burning her up from the inside. Didn't you see those red cracks? I think if she gets any more power, she won't be able to handle it."

"You're still looking out for her, Shaw," John commented, "Even though she doesn't care about you anymore."

"I think she does." Shaw shrugged, straightening up. "She just needs to be reminded. She loves all of us. Well," she glanced at Lionel, "Maybe not all of us."

"Hey!" Lionel grunted putting the food away and standing. "She just needs to get to know me. I'm lovable."

Shaw rolled her eyes and started walking again, her sports bra growing itchy from sweat. After another twenty or so minutes of endless cornfield, Shaw decided she would never eat corn again.

They finally came out onto a grassy plain. About a half a mile ahead of them, stood a large white farm house with a faded compass rose painted onto the side. A large tree had grown through one of the 2nd floor windows and out the other. The sound of it creaking in the warm wind reached their ears.

"Yeah, I'm not going in there. That's some creepy shit," Lionel said, eyes wide. "I'll keep guard outside."

Shaw nodded, feeling fear creep into her stomach. She squashed it. "That's good. I don't want you in there, anyway. Harold should stay outside, too."

The friends walked the short distance to the house. When they got to the front porch, Shaw stopped. She looked up the few steps to the porch, not sure it would hold their weight. She slowly rested a foot on the bottom step, wincing as it groaned beneath her. She climbed the stairs, letting out a soft breath when she made it onto the porch. It didn't seem like the house was going to buckle.

She turned and waved the boys up the steps.

"Ok, Lionel waits outside with Harold. John, give him a gun." She watched John pull out a shotgun and nodded. "Harold, stay out here on your computer. John and I will have our headphones in and we can be on a three-way call."

Harold nodded and began pulling out his laptop. They took a minute to set up the call. Shaw glanced around at the area, as she pushed her headphones into her ears, feeling like someone was watching her, but the fields were empty. Shaw almost smiled; Root was too tall to hide in this corn.

"Ready, Sameen?" John asked, checking his gun.

Shaw nodded and wiped her forehead, trying to keep sweat from her eyes. She opened the front door as quietly as possible, pulling her gun from the holster at her side. Her eyes squinted, trying to adjust to the dark.

There were a few doors on this floor, all of them hanging open. The layer of dust over everything told her that Root hadn't been here yet. Thankfully, they'd beaten her. Shaw took a few more creaking steps into the house, glancing up the staircase in front of them. The tree branch that had pierced the house blocked them from looking through around the top floor.

Shaw adjusted her grin on her gun and remembered a shooting lesson she'd had with John after their camping trip. They'd gone paintballing to work on her aim and awareness. She'd done really well, but she'd gotten distracted and John had shot her right in the chest. She'd gone home and stared at the bright red splatter over her heart. The odd feeling she'd had seeing herself 'dead' was creeping into her body now, making her stomach hurt.

Shaw shook her head, pulling herself together. Somewhere in this house was a large Runestone.

"Harold?" Shaw asked into the microphone on her headphones. "Any thoughts?"

"Probably in the basement," his voice answered. "They're usually planted in the ground."

"Copy."

"Shaw," John called, "over here." He nodded to a door, gun held in front of him.

Shaw crossed the room quickly, peering down the staircase. She grimaced. "Gotta be a dark basement, huh?"

John shrugged and led the way downstairs. He ran a hand along the wall until he found a light switch.

Shaw blinked into the light, stepping off the last step onto the ground. In the center of the floor was the Runestone. Shaw wandered closer, staring at the odd carvings. The stone was almost as tall as she was and a dark bronze color. It looked natural, like it grew out of the ground.

She lowered onto her knees, holding the gun in one hand. She ran her free hand along the stone, gasping when a pale blue light flickered in the carvings. Shaw could feel something tugging at her chest. The carvings formed constellations.

"We found it, Harold," John said, making her jump. "Where's the eye?"

"Inside," Shaw murmured. "It's inside."

"How do you know that?" Harold's voice asked.

Shaw just shook her head. She knew what to do. Something inside her knew what to do.

She dropped her gun and removed the bandage on her stomach, letting her hand run across it and become wet with blood. She raised her shaking hand and placed it on the Runic carving of Canis Major.

"Please," she whispered in Farsi, "Help me help her."

Her chest filled with warmth, but she felt vast and empty. The numbness she had felt her entire life seemed to harden into something almost tangible. The stone began glowing blue in earnest. Shaw felt something sharp push at her hand and she slowly removed it from the stone. The Eye of Lapis Lazuli hovered between her hand and the stone.

Carefully, Shaw closed her hand around the stone, ignoring the white hot pain where the stone met her skin. When her fist closed completely, the light disappeared. She blinked into the sudden darkness.

The pain faded from her hand and Shaw stood, looking around for John.

"John?" she asked as her eyes adjusted. She couldn't see him in the room. "John?"

"I've got him, Sameen. Don't worry."

Shaw jerked around, shocked to see Root holding John in a chokehold.

Root leaned her head against John's, eyes fully red. Cracks appeared and disappeared across her skin, making it seem like she was constantly rippling. She looked at Shaw with a snarl on her face.

"Let him go, Root."

"Give me the stone, Shaw. You don't even know how to use it."

"Do you?" Shaw asked, trying to get Root to focus on her.

Root growled and tightened her hold around John's throat. "The eye is the Eye of Horus carved into Lapis Lazuli. He used it to resurrect Osiris, so it has incredible healing powers. Its a talisman of protection. It helps the holder against physic attacks."

"So, it's just for protection? Shaw asked, opening her hand to glance at the stone. It pulsed in time to her heartbeat. If it was just for protection, she would give it to Root.

"It also grants power," Root smirked, her red eyes seeming to swirl. "If someone inserts it into their body, it allows them to focus their emotions into power. The wilder the emotions, the more power. You become driven by your desires. Anyone with emotions would have a surge of power with their every feeling. Sure, It can be unsteady, if the holder is unsteady. Like Root."

Root tightened her hold on John again, his face turning red. "Root's going to put it behind her ear to fix her hearing. We do miss hearing in stereo."

Shaw frowned, confused by Root's use of the 3rd person. She saw John mouthing something.

"Stereo," he croaked, twisting his hand like he was turning a door knob or a radio-

"Dial," Shaw murmured out loud. "Volume turned down."

Root's eyes widened, realizing what Shaw meant. She released John, but it was too late.

Shaw shoved the stone into her stomach wound, gritting her teeth against the pain. She began to gasp, her throat tightening. Shaw couldn't breathe. She felt her vision begin to cloud.

Shaw was flung into the air, the pain radiating from her stomach making her scream endlessly. She felt her skin ripple, her blood glowing blue through her skin. She felt powerful, more confident than she had ever felt. Shaw caught a glimpse of something through the fog in her eyes.

It was her and Root and Bear. They were walking along a river. Shaw felt Root's hand in hers and heard the crunch of gravel under their boots. She was holding a popsicle and it was so, so warm. Shaw glanced at Root and caught her smiling at the sky.

Shaw grinned through the pain coursing through her body. They were going to be alright. She had to help Root, but they were going to be alright. She would protect them and their future.

Shaw's vision cleared and she stared down at Root, her hair freeing itself from its braid. She clenched her hands into fists, her gaze menacing.

"You will let her go." Shaw's voice echoed. "Give up your revenge against Greer. Release your hold on mortal technology."

Root sneered. "We will complete her quest. Roots wants this as much as I. You can not outrun a god."

Shaw felt a wetness under her nose and wiped it with the back of her hand. Blood. She couldn't keep up this show of power for long. It was too new. She had to think of something.

Shaw wanted to knock Root out. She'd be a lot easier to deal with unconscious. Shaw reached within herself to find her anger. Taking a deep breath, she imagined balling it up, making it something she could hold.

She opened her eyes, focusing on Root. Their eyes met and, for one second, the red disappeared. Shaw saw the old Root. Nervous and longing and clear. Then, the red came creeping back from the corner of her eyes and Root's face clouded with rage. Shaw swallowed and threw her arms in front of her striking Root in the chest, throwing her off her feet into the far wall.

Root hit the wall with a loud crunch, crying out. Shaw looked her over. She hadn't knocked Root out, but she'd definitely broken her arm. Shaw felt tired and heavy, suddenly, and let herself lower to her feet.

Root looked at her and Shaw almost gasped. Root was crying, her eyes clear. She whimpered in pain and Shaw took an involuntary step forward. Root threw her good arm out, stopping her.

"Hanford Nuclear…" Root whispered, struggling to breath. The cracks in her neck darkened. "Sameen," Root took another halting step forward, "Help me."

A red fog swirled up from the ground, covering Root. When it dispersed, Root was gone.

Shaw stood staring at the spot where Root was. Root was in there, fighting against the evil Greer had put into her blood. She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped. It was just John.

Shaw sighed. "I need a nap."

John smiled at her, nodding. "Yeah. I'll get Harold and Lionel and we'll figure out what Hanford Nuclear is. Get some rest."

"Root's still in there," Shaw said. "She's probably so scared."

"I know. We'll help her, Shaw." John turned and headed for the stairs. "We'll help her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh, Shaw's magic has awakened! Root is still on the inside! How will Shaw teach her to love again?

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated!


End file.
